The BIG P and regular fries.

I just found this in my drafts from about 5  months ago......

 
"There are always two versions of a story, regular or twister fries. Regular, please!"

So I saw this on a friends face book page and found myself having a giggle and a big nod in agreement!


Anyone else ever surprised about the ugliness of their own nature at times? I am.

I've been thinking about how the big P can creep up almost unnoticed until..BAM! There it is! The big P I'm talking about is PRIDE. Even the sound of the word has a horrible ring to it.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone has spoke falsely against you? Maybe they are just really mistaken or maybe they are just out right telling lies! Whichever it is, I am learning the important thing is how we respond. Easier said than done at times!

One of the most hurtful things we can encounter is for some one who you think is a friend to speak wrongly against you.  My first reaction after hurt was that of defense. To show them they were totally wrong and point out facts. Thankfully I am married to a lovely and wise man who thinks before he speaks. He reminded me (even if at that moment it was not what I wanted to hear) not to rush an answer. In fact not to respond at all.
My old nature did not like it one bit!

But once the emotion melted away I knew he was right. Then I started to think about that persons situation. I still did not like the untruthfulness of the words they spoke, but I somehow just about managed to separate my feeling from the way I would respond. I started to think about what might have made them do this.

So then God starts showing me  my heart!! (sqirm sqirm sqirm) Was it my pride that made me think I had to respond by justifying myself and writing down the facts to every lie told? Was it pride bubbling up energising me to just have to "respond with this one thing".
I believe God showed me it was. I was reminded of Jesus. The bible says
"He opened not his mouth."

Gulp! Who more than Jesus had the right to justify himself and correct all the lies people told of Him? Yet He was so humble that he let all sorts of lies be spoken against Him. I was thinking too about how secure He was in His identity. Fully God. Fully man. He knew the end from the beginning. He knew the hearts and minds of every person who falsely accused Him. He knew it all.

Thank God that we can be secure in our identity in Christ. Thank God that if we are His then we need not fear what people would say. It doesn't really matter. I am so so thankful that through the grace of God that I don't have to worry about false words. I am so thankful that my identity is not based on what a person may think of me. It's not based on my past, present or future. It's not based on my work or achievements.
My identity is based on Jesus. I love Him because He first loved me. He loves me. He knows me. I am His. I am His. I am His.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". Proverbs 4:23

Josiahs first visit to Tondo.

This week we took Josiah with us for the first time to Tondo. My heart was pounding most of the time, but he was having so much fun!

Seeing him there with the other babies made me so thankful to have a happy, healthy son.My heart broke all over again as I watched children as young as 2 years old playing alone in the garbage- playing in waste. My heart ached as I thought "what if that was Josiah?"
That is someones baby playing in that mud, bare foot, half clothed and hungry. What if it was my baby? What if my life was switched with one of the mothers there? They literally fight every day to keep their children alive. Some make it. Some don't.
As the mothers shared some of their "news" yesterday my inner voice was screaming;
"This is not normal. This is not right."
Below are some of the things they shared which happened that day;

-One mother came into the group late. Her baby was playing with the others but was a little more clingy to her than usual. She lifted up his faded blue t shirt to reveal bright red marks covering his torso and arms.He was covered in burns from an injury that morning. It was now afternoon and he still had no treatment..

-A withdrawn toddler was covered in open wounds on his arms and face. Small cuts and bites had become infected with the filth from the surroundings and the wound on his arm was now a hole. An actual hole.

-An older mother joined in who does not usually attend the play group. It's normally her teenage daughter who has a 2 year old and a 6 month old. I asked the mother how she was and inquired about her youngest daughter who is 4 years old and has cerebral palsy. She told me matter of factly but with an undertone of worry that her teenager daughter just fled to the province without warning leaving the 2 infants behind. This mother now had to care for her own 3 young children plus her daughter's 2. How could she take care of them? How could she feed them? Why did her daughter leave so suddenly. She did not know.

-Children with high fevers and mothers who could not afford to buy medicine.

- A new born baby boy who's skin was starting to break out in rashes with the heat and germs.

Can you imagine giving birth to your precious baby and instead of bringing her home to your house, neatly decorated with  balloons and greeting cards, you brought her to a rat infested dump site? Instead of dressing her in new clothes, you wrapped rags on her. You love her more than words can say, but you have no choice. Her perfectly smooth skin becomes itchy and swollen as a result from the environment.

I'm in awe once again at my warrior mum friends in that community. They love their children. They want the best but are under strains that are difficult for you or I to understand.
These mothers are so strong. I know I would not cope if I lived where they live. These amazing women don't just cope- they love- they laugh- they pick themselves up and carry on. I admire them. I am thankful to have met them and proud to know them.

This is not the life these babies should have. I can't stand the thought of seeing them grow into children scavenging through rotten food and other people's throw aways. It doesn't matter how much we do- it never feels enough. I know the goodness of God. I know His heart aches for this community. I know He loves it more than words could express. I know He wants to give these babies and the others there an abundant life- on earth and into eternity.
We cry for justice. We work for justice. We are here for justice.

Is it a crazy, far out dream to think things could be changed?

-YES- If I think we or any other organisation, church or person can change things by their own abilities.

NO- If I believe God can move. He can change lives. He can change communities. He can transform a nation. He uses people to carry out his purposes. He uses ordinary, imperfect people.
We must work to do what we can. But we must trust that God can and will move.

 Maybe some reading this are thinking- why should I trust a God who lets people live like this?
I would suggest you think about being thankful that you are not living like that. When my husband and I took our precious son to the car, washed him and brought him home, I had a heavy heart that the babies had no choice but to stay behind. But I was so greatful that we could bring our son home.I am thankful that my son was not born there and that I as are many of you are in a position to do something about poverty.It's so encouraging and so humbling to think that God can use you and me to help bring  change and touch lives. He uses people to work along side those in need. He uses people to pray for these works.He uses people to give.
 
I believe;

"He WILL bring justice to the poor of the people. He WILL save the children of the needy and WILL break in pieces the oppressor" Psalm 72: 4

Her name is Princess Juliana. She is almost 3.

A quote worth quoting...

I'm always amazed and thankful at the way God provides for the ministry through the kindness of people. Never early and never late. We had a faith journey become reality again this month as our annual youth camp took place.It's a time when the teenagers can have a break from the daily struggles and have 4 days of respite at a beach resort. Our prayer is always that they get refreshed physically, emotionally and spiritually. This year was extra significant since we had to postpone the camp from May until the last week of October. We ll knew that God must have a reason for this.It turns out there were a few great reasons and I don't want to ramble on, but it just confirmed that Gods hand was on this camp every step of the way. Oh how He loves these teenagers!

Before we left for camp I scribbled in my journal;
"Lord, be pleased to move among us. Holy Spirit move in a special way. Heal hearts, touch lives and draw the teenagers to You. We don't want an event God- we want to see lasting fruit come from this week. Be with us Lord Jesus..."

There is so much I could write about camp. It was just a great week and so much fun. (Exhausting but fun!) I couldn't possibly write about all the ways God blessed us. God moved.
But if I had to sum it up I would say this;
"There is no substitute for the Holy Spirit."

This is a quote from my sisters Pastor in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Before the camp I was thinking about it and then my brother in law posted it on his face book page. It became a reality the first night of camp...

The first day is always a tiring one! Many of the youth don't sleep with excitement the night before. I was shocked when they told us they woke up as early as 2am to get ready to leave. We don't depart Tondo until 6am!!! Then 125 bodies pack into jeeps and travel 5 hours up north to the resort we host the camp at. Straight into activities and so on. By evening we are all pretty tired. But we always have that first evening dedicate to a celebration of worship and prayer just to thank God for his goodness that another camp has been made possible.
This year Ron and I lead that first night, leaving the other youth bands to lead the rest of the week. As we started to worship it was apparent the young people were sleepy, but there was something else. There was a definite atmosphere and it wasn't really one of freedom. Have you ever been in a church gathering where the worship seems to hit the roof instead of penetrate the heavens? Well. it was like that. Ron and I both sensed the lack of freedom in the hall and began praying as we lead. In our spirits we both felt a determination that the night would not go on without a breakthrough. We so needed God to come in and dwell with us. 
As we continued to sing I got a picture in my mind....

I saw the young people carrying cases.They couldn't lift their hands because of thes big blck cases. Inside the cases were labels;
Sadness, fear, hurt, struggle.... but the one that really stood out in bold black letters was GUILT.

That was it! We are not free to really worship if we are carrying all this stuff, especially guilt. We really needed the Spirit of God to come and break through and give them a fresh and real revelation of Gods love. Only then would the spiritual atmosphere change. As the youth got into groups to pray our staff and us began asking the Lord to move.Words of life were spoken over the teens. It was our hearts cry for God to release them. We began singing " Oh how He loves us" and crying out for the Holy Spirit to come.
He did and everything changed.
In fact it was the catalyst needed to direct the purpose of the whole camp. God is so good.

Again, I know if I start getting into testimonies of how God touched lives I will be writing here all night. But I am just so so thankful to the Lord for answering prayer and moving in the lives of many young people.He saved. He healed. He restored.He filled.
He is more than amazing. Amazing grace.

There truly is no substitute for the Holy Spirit and I want this to be engraved in my heart. You can have the best planned activities, amazing preachers, well provided for church, the best reheared music team and dynamic outreaches. BUT they just don't even come close to a move of the Spirit of God. There is  no faking it when the presence of God really takes over. No pretense. No religion. No comparison.

He is lovely.

(Have no idea why the first paragraph has a white background and my baby brain will not permit me to problem solve any longer today- Goodnight all! :)

Life is like a piano.

'But David encouraged himself in the Lord.." 1 Samuel 30:6

This verse has been going through my mind for the last week or so. Maybe it's meant for someone who is reading this....

Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where there seems to be no one to encourage you. Maybe you are in a place full of people, but for some reason no one seems to have that word you are in need of. Or maybe you are in a place where you are physically alone. Maybe you are going through a suffering situation that even if people want to, is really hard for them to understand. Maybe these are some of the reasons this verse is in the bible. Is it there to remind us that on some occasions we really have to encourage ourselves by looking up to the one who understands it all. I believe with all my heart that God uses people to speak encouragement into our lives. This is precious. I know He uses the heart song of others, a letter or a scripture handed to us by a friend.
But I believe too there are certain times when we must make a choice to stir up our gifts, stir up our hearts and stir up the word of God within us. It won't always feel amazing. It may not even seem to make a difference to our emotions or change our circumstances. But I believe, and I can't fully explain why but it does do something in the spirit realm. It keeps our hearts right. It moulds us into an over comer- even is we feel far from being one.It reminds the enemy that we do trust our God.

I will never forget a message preached by my Pastor in Scotland.He gave the illustration of a piano.

There are black notes and there are white notes. Depending on where you place your fingers some create a major chord (a happy sound) and some a minor chord (a sad sound). It would be hard to imagine a piano only with all white notes or only with all black. The two are placed perfectly to create something beautiful. Our lives are the same. We need both the major chords and the minor in our lives. Just as in music the minor can still work our to be something beautiful.
We won't always like what's happening. There are times we will be sad.But God really does work all things together for good to those who love Him.

Today, if you are going through a "minor chord" encourage yourself in the Lord even if it's the last thing you feel like. Choose to worship. Choose to read Gods word. Choose to still sing.
Sometimes the songs you will sing on the dark days- "in the night" will be the most beautiful and most special. Choose to worship and choose to believe that days will come again when you will sing those songs in a major, happy key again. They will.

I can't help thinking about David in the bible.A gifted musician. A player of many instruments and a writer of many songs. These songs recorded in scripture were both happy and sad. I just wonder how many of these beautiful psalms that bless us and encourage us so often were actually birthed as he chose to encourage himself in the Lord when no one else could......

Never say the C word in a Filipino airport!

Last week we were in Malaysia for my friends wedding. We have been friends since we were six and so it was just amazing to be there on her special day and have a week in such a beautiful country with my hubby and baby. It really was quite a perfect week. However actually getting out the airport was not so perfect!

 Off we went at 6am to travel a couple of hours to the airport in Clark. We were pretty organised and even on time! Now in the past I have been made painfully aware of "required fees" that must be a paid inside the terminal. After researching  I was pretty sure I knew the amount needed. I was wrong!

The first sign we came to was "terminal fee". It wasn't so bad. The second line we were pointed to go to was"airport tax". However we were assured since I am not Filipino and Josiah is an infant that this only applied to Ron. It wasn't a small fee but we brought a bit extra just in case. Hmmmm... wrong information apparently given to us! When we got to the front, the woman said that the fee applied to 3 of us. Unless we wanted to pay an "exemption fee" for Josiah. Hold on- we have to pay a fee so that we don't have to pay another fee?!! is this making sense to anyone else?!!

By this stage I was getting annoyed. You can ask to see all the policies in the world and talk until you are blue in the face but at the end of the day , the airport staff have the say and that is it. I am thankful for a very patient husband, but even he was getting agitated by this stage since we had to go and change money back into pesos to pay this ridiculous fee.

Surely that is it I thought. There are no more signs for fees. Just one security check and then we can relax and start to enjoy our trip. Wrong! When we got to immigration the guy said "you must pay a fee". This time the fee didn't even have a title! He must be joking! It was a really steep amount. We asked to speak to a supervisor to give an explanation. After searching through an old notepad she said" because you are a foreigner and resident". Wait a minute! The other guy just said there would be no more fees because I am a resident of the Philippines! I felt like I was going to explode but Rons calming influence was rubbing off just enough to hold me from going mental. We really questioned this fee. Giving all the sensible reasons we could as to why it should not apply. We told of the information we had been given already by the other staff. Surely each post should be giving the same info? The supervisor replied " they other staff don't know what they are doing". Em... shouldn't that be her job as their manager to  make sure they did?!

I was mad! I began to speak faster and waffle why we should not pay this fee. It was not making a blind bit of difference... but i was mad! Ron spoke sensibly to the women while I sat down in a fluster. I thought I was talking to myself but said out loud "this system in so corrupt" Well!! One of the staff heard me and was not at all amused. Honestly I never meant that they particular individuals were corrupt, in fact one girl was particularly sweet. However I did feel it was unjust and the lack of communication between staff was very unprofessional. Next thing we know they are not going to allow us on the flight and they definitely would not let us on the flight if we did not pay. Sigh..... beyond frustrating. By the time we were finished we had to pay out almost 100 pounds of  money.

In my personal opinion I still think the system is guilty for legalised corruption. But I also know my attitude that day was not right. I should have been able to remain calm. I should not have spoken what was in my mind. I should have been able to control my flesh from boiling over. I shouls be more like my hubby in these situations whose moto is "a gentle answer turns away wrath". However honestly in my stubborness in this situation these are the last words I would have wanted to hear!

As you can read there are no deep lesson in this blog. Just the ramblings of a frustrated travller and the reminder to myself not to ever use the *Corruption word in an airport again! Looking back it is now a little funny...not very funny... but maybe a little bit! :)

Lessons I learned from a one year old

Recently our one year old has been doing a couple of wee things that provoked thought for me...

As of late if he wants to go to sleep he climbs near me and puts his head on my heart. His eyes close and his perfect little fingers stretch out to find my heartbeat. I suppose it makes perfect sense that a heartbeat would make him feel secure and calm since it was top of his play list while he was in the womb!
It made me think though.....
What if stayed I this close to the saviours heartbeat? What if I searched for it everyday and was not content until I found it? Hear his every breath. Feel his heartbeat. You can't get much closer. It says in the word that "there was leaning on Jesus bosom one of His disciples,whom Jesus loved" Next to his heart. What better place to be than right next to the heart of Jesus. To listen to his words and feel the vibration of the tones in his voice. The most beautiful melody that could ever be heard. There are so many worship songs that speak about being near to the heart of Jesus.I believe this is exactly where God wants each one of us.He's not some distant God that we have to go through ritual and laws to be accepted by.He desires us to be so close. What an awesome thing that is! Sometimes we just don't feel good enough to have the boldness to go like a child and jump up on the Fathers knee. I believe that's what He wants us to do.So sure of His love for us. A child usually isn't put off by his Daddy asking him to wait until hes finished work before he comes in the office. If that wee son wants to hug his daddy or ask something from his daddy he most likely barges with confidence through the door and jumps up and hangs round the neck of his hero. What good Father would say "oh , cant you see all my paper work". Of course he would ignore his mountain of work and love his son.
Our Abba Daddy wants us with our ear pressed against his heart. Amazing grace.

Last month our baby boy decided his preferred way to fall asleep was to be sung to. No more cuddling or pacing the floor- just a song. So every night before he goes to sleep Ron or I sing to him. It has been known for us to sing ourselves to sleep! I guess Josiah just wants to hear our voices and know that we are with him. Its the sweetest thing ever when he sing along Mmmmm or Lalalaaa and sings himself into dream land.
What if I could not rest or be content unless I was hearing the songs that Jesus was singing over me? What if I refused to sleep without first hearing His voice?
 Jesus sings over us. How amazing is that?! I want to know what He sings! What does his voice sound like? What notes does He choose? What is the tone and vibrato of his voice? I can only imagine it's the most beautiful voice that anyone could ever have. The God of all creation who with one word spoke creation into existence singing over me?!
Amazing love.

"He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Justice and mercy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few weeks ago the words of a pastor pierced my heart and have been replaying in my spirit ever since.

 

"When was the last time you were broken hearted for your country?"

 

I believe we must speak life over our nation. When there is so much negativity in the media about how bad things are we have to choose to proclaim blessing. At the same time I believe we need to see that many have turned from the true and living God and as a result things are in a state. This sadness over our country can provoke a heart cry of justice and mercy.  God puts this heart song in us when we ask for it. I pray for a more fervent desperation to see things changed by a God who loves justice and mercy.

 

 

My heart cry- "bring justice and mercy"

Mighty God this is my prayer

Though the heavens sometimes seem like brass

I'm believing that you hear.

 

 

I know you won't desert your people

Stay close oh gentle hand

With justice and with mercy

God have pity on this land.

 

Have compassion. Lord forgive us

Though we don't deserve it- still

-You are a God of patience

Who recovers and rebuilds.

 

In past times this country has crumbled

Much is barren and still bare

But the song of hope is rising up

And victory we declare.

 

In the name of Jesus

We sing blessing, life and peace

When we really grasp your goodness

Our  hearts will bring us to our knees.

 

"I the Lord love justice"

-A promise in your book

The twins justice and mercy

For them we continue to look.

 

 

 

Pray for your country.

 

 



The heart of a carer.

 

  I have witnessed first hand the sacrifice it takes for people to look after a loved one who is dying. As I write this I am thinking much of my mum and sister who poured themselves out caring for my step-father in his last few months. Anyone who is a carer has a special heart.Whether it's a mother living on a dump site or it's your full time"work"- It takes a really special person.But I think even more so when it is a wife giving care until the final breath of the one they love most....

 

 

There's a special kind of person

They are strong and true,

Caring through the hard times

Holding on, seeing illness through

 

Sometimes that special person

Feels weary and afraid

But the heart of a carer

Is to keep appearing brave

 

At times its sore to watch the pain

And tears are often shed,

God understands the burden felt

And by His hand you're lead

 

You are that special carer

You have been all your life,

Faithful, loving, loyal, true

God gave a special man- a very special wife.



The adventures of Mama, baby and bump!

Please excuse the ruggedness of this blog.No time to edit! :)

At the beginning of the month I travelled back to Scotland for a short 10 day visit. It was a sad trip in many ways. Seeing a loved one before they pass over to the other side always is. It was a hard trip,but a blessed trip.

My hubby and I have always made a point of not being away from each other for more than a few days.We miss each other too much! I know its mushy, but true! But there are some situations you just can't prepare for. This trip was one of them

To be totally honest I really did not know how it was possible financially for me to return at such short notice. In my heart I really wanted to go and say goodbye to my step dad who had fought cancer so very bravely for over 2 years. But I did not think I could go. But it's just like God to already be way ahead of us and have planned everything out right to the last detail. I was reminded again what a personal God I have.

One morning I had been thinking a lot about my family and the situation they were all facing back home. I felt so helpless. That afternoon I received a message from a dear couple who have become special friends and encourager's to us. They said that they wanted me to know that if I wanted to go back to Scotland for a trip that they would like to gift my flight. Who does that?!!
At the time they knew my step dad was ill but had no idea of the details.The amazing thing was at that time I also had no idea of that decline of his health. Once I was able to speak for shock, I told our friends I would pray about it and speak to Ron and my mum. Within a couple of hours a family member phoned me to tell me the doctors had given my step dad a couple of days maximum to live. I knew God had presented this opportunity for me to be with my family at this time.I was overwhelmed by His love and the kindness of our friends. Flights for Josiah and I were booked that evening and we flew the next day.

I was a little nervous about travelling a different route than usual with Josiah and bump.When we checked in, the airport stroller we had hoped for could not be given. Carrying an 11 month old through security and airports would be a bit of a challenge.But guess what happened? After we got off our first flight a member of staff approached us and said. "Some one on the plane yesterday just happened to leave a stroller. Do you want to use it and just return in later?" I just knew then it was a little kiss of favour from our heavenly Father!

Then as we got to our gate we were told our flight had been changed! I hadn't brought any cash with me because our stop over times were supposed to be very short and I figured I wouldn't need it. But now we would have hours to wait and my baby belly was telling me I was going to get hungry soon. But guess what happened next? As we went through security the lady said "Oh you have been upgraded to business class and so can avail the business lounge. Well Ive never been in the airport business lounge but oh my! There was a big lovely buffet with all sorts of yummys which Josiah and I enjoyed. Gods loving hand was on us again! I don't want to bore you with every detail but it was just so clear God had gone before us the whole trip!

I'm writing this because I think it's important not to forget the favour and blessing that some may just say is coincidence. It's definitely not. We have a personal God who knows every need- even the ones that may seem insignificant.He really does care! :)

Through the eyes of a volunteer....

Below is the writtings of Chloe, a 20 year old who has come to volunteer with us for 3 weeks. She describes her first visit to the dump site community in Tondo....

  

"11/08/2012. Tondo dumpsite; festering with fermenting rubbish, knee deep toxic sludge, contaminated water and accessorized ever so plentifully with vermin. The visual can only be likened to the minds darkest concoctions of the aftermath of a war; devastation, disease and despair. As we travelled into the dumpsite dozens of smiling faces greeted and ran after us welcoming us to the community Not one child looked in anyway disheartened by their situation and couldn’t hold your hand or cuddle you any quicker - the people being the ultimate paradox to the extreme poverty they are victims of. Their affection, trust and joy left me with the heaviest feeling in my heart I have ever felt. I looked at the children, some with no clothes, some coughing from primary complex, some starving, some lying in contaminated flood water, ALL smiling – truly, diamonds in the rough. That day I listened to the children’s community choir singing for the first time. I was met by beaming faces desperate to perform. Whilst posing for the camera and singing ‘the climb’ the children sounded out of this world. Their English was word perfect, perfectly in tune,; the happiness in their eyes was overwhelming. When the choir finished and the children began to return to their ‘homes,’ cramped, disease ridden make shift homes scattered across the dumpsite, it hit me - these children have nothing but hope. That is the first time I have ever witnessed the power that having hope can have. It transforms these children from feeling alone and victimized to being some of the strongest characters I have ever met. I couldn’t help but cry later that day as I thought back to the tiny faces. That night I had a shower, I put on clean clothes, I went to the mall and I bought some dinner - not one of these things did I do without thinking how much I would give for those children to take my place. My mind boggled with how the situation could be so out of hand, the class divide far beyond any stretch of the imagination. I was consumed with feelings of anger, at why these children and adults must endure this when so many, including myself, have so much and always desire more in a complete self-obsessed ignorance. That night I felt the hollowest, darkest feeling I have ever felt - complete helplessness for the children. I wish I could take every single one of them and give them clean clothes, houses and rid them of disease, the fact that I cant and I have seen the conditions they live in makes me feel helpless and beyond any frustration imaginable. Photographs, videos, blogs, even fabrications of your mind, nothing will ever amount to the feeling that succumbs you in Tondo. So many turn a blind eye to the jewels that are buried under the dirt and the disease but my heart will never let me move on from the sights I saw my first day in Tondo ."