Don't lose heart.

Maybe you read my blog a couple of weeks ago mentioning a little boy called Winmar whom we met for the first time that day. He was sick and very undernourished. With a heavy heart I share with you that he never made it.
As soon as we met the family that day we knew it was a desperate situation. Our team at Kalayaan Community Ministries done everything to try to help. Covered the daily food needs of the family, paid for medicines and hospital fees and included him in our feeding program for malnourished.

But we found him too late.

What if  this family had come to us even a few weeks before? Would it have made a difference?
Only God knows.

In moments like these it doesn't matter how many people's lives we are helping.
- one child dead through the effects of poverty is one too many.

The little boy who died was the same age as my son Josiah. 2 and a half years old.

The mother loved her son. I love my sons.
She breast fed to provide him with the most sustenance he could have even though she herself was lacking nutrition. I breast feed too.
The mother wanted the best for him. Wanted him to grow up happy, healthy and live a life of purpose. That's my desire also.

So what's the gaping chasm of a difference?

Her son was born into poverty on a rubbish dump. Mine was not.

Right now my sons are lying here beside me fast asleep on a comfortable bed, clean, healthy with full bellies.

Our Josiah and Eli

Her son lies in a tiny white casket in the ground because his frail body was so undernourished with lack of food that he just could not fight the measles and pneumonia anymore.

Winmar doing his "best smile"

After 6 years of looking into open caskets, I can never and will never get used to seeing dead children. When you have seen them laugh and play and live and then view them motionless, pale and without expression- words cannot describe. Looking in to see the body of a loved one is a sign of respect to the family and a cultural norm. I don't think it will ever feel normal for me.

Just a few weeks ago we were able to help "save" a little boys life  who was on our feeding program for the most malnourished in the community. He too was diagnosed with measles and pneumonia.

baby Caleb with Mama Jane after he got out hospital a few weeks ago. We thank God he's doing great now.

 

The only difference?
We found him much sooner and have been working with the family for more than a year already.

It's been a challenging few weeks for various reasons and very sad week with 2 deaths of people we loved and knew in the community.
Yes, good and positive things have happened too, but when you are in this kind of work for the long hall losing people that you have poured out everything to try to help is just heart crushing.

When you really invest your time, resources and life in a certain community of people- you will laugh with them- you will weep with them. You will share their highest of highs and their lowest of lows because they become your family.

Ron just got home late from the dump site to find me perched at the side of the bed.

I was thinking about several of the families situations and just talking to God.
With honesty and pain in my heart and voice I mumbled to my husband;

"there is so much need in that place"

He replied

"and it's our privilege to be there"

My husband is right.

I love his heart.

I stay home with our boys while he is on the field. He sees more heartbreak than me now. Hears more stories that seem so horrific you would think they are from some movie. But they are very real.
He never gives up on people. No matter the setbacks- he keeps loving them. No matter the sacrifice, he keeps helping them. He does so many things to help people in that community and out with it, that no one even hears about and that's the way he likes it to be. He doesn't like to be in pictures. He just loves, helps and demonstrated what the gospel is about when no eyes are on him.

My husband is right.
 Being here, knowing this community and sharing their deep sorrows as well as their great joys is a privilege. And I  must remember this during the times I dare to grumble and moan about my own challenges.

After time with my husband, I kept thinking about this verse and its been burying itself deep into my being since i read it again-


And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

I personally don't think that losing heart means you have lost the passion or you are so overcome with challenges that you want to quit. I think it can mean that sometimes your heart gets so weighed down with the sorrows and burdens of suffering that your mind, emotions and spirit become weak and you  question whether you are being effective at all.

There's another translation of this verse that says  "for in due season we shall reap if we faint not".

So how can we (I) make sure we "faint not" or  don't "lose heart"?
- For me the application is twofold;
1. Take it ALL to Jesus. Give it ALL to Him.. Get refreshed by being with Him. Sit alone and pour it all out to Him- the challenges, the tears, the burdens, the hopes, the dreams, the successes and the failures. Don't try and make it sound pretty. Tell it like it is. He already knows!
2: Don't listen to the lies of the enemy when he tells you , you are not making a difference. Get around people who can encourage you and lift your heart.

I found this verse resonate with my heart as a mummy too. Mother hood is a ministry- a marvelously, joyful, chaotic, challenging and at times frustrating one. Anyone agree?!

 I think in particular if you are a stay at home mum you go through "those days". Your day is filled with tasks that sometimes feel unimportant. But they are not! Each act is a way of caring , loving, nurturing our children. Through some of the days that may feel really long and are exhausting, remember the bigger picture. This verse says, if we don't lose heart we will reap.
Reap- to gather in, to get a result, to see a great harvest!

So whatever your tasks are today. Whatever the challenges you are facing. Whoever you are reaching out to or whoever you are carrying the burdens for-
DON'T LOSE HEART.

Some days suffering can only be expressed in tears and prayer.

 Being here is both heartbreaking and a privilege. Sometimes the things we see and the stories we hear from the families we know are difficult to properly communicate. Some days I can't bring myself to share them and some days I feel like I must try to write it down in hope that someone reading would feel compelled to remember the people here who seem forgotten by their own country at times.

10.30am: rushed into ministry base to set up activities and toys for mama and toddlers group on the rubbish dump
Feeling a little stressed (as we got stuck in traffic) but happy to be there

11am
Mothers and babies filled the room and began playing with toys and chatting on the floor as babies crawled, rolled, ran, played with toys on every available space!

I began going around the ladies, sitting on the floor with them chatting, listening to how their week had been and reminding myself that I really need to find time to work on my tagalog because I still sound like a pre-schooler when I talk!
As I moved from group to group, listening , talking , laughing  with the Mamas I saw a much older lady whom had never been. She was holding a 4 month old boy. I thought she must have had a miracle baby because she looked really quite old! Turned our she was the Lola (gran) who was looking after the little boy.

The baby had no diaper and when he urinated he began to cry. Then the gran lifted his faded, tattered yellow t shirt to show me.
His private parts were raw. I mean raw. His skin was bright reddish- almost purple. His skin was peeling off. His rashes were so awful that when he urinated it hurt so bad. He cried for a long time.
Some of the mothers are not able to afford diapers and so do their best by cutting up flour sacks as a replacement. With the best of intention to make a diaper, it often rubs the skin so raw and the urine has no where to soak into.
In my life I have never seen diaper rash like that. I went to the stock room to get cotton to clean him, diaper and sudocream. Ron had his hands covered in ink trying to fix the printer when I came in. I looked at him and my eyes filled with tears. I stood with him for a moment to get myself together and returned to the ladies.

I shuffled across to another group of women who are very talkative. One was saying how breast feeding made her really hungry and the others were laughing and admiring how she gained weight in her cheeks.She looked much healthier than usual and used to be really skinny. One of the newer mothers to the group then began asking advice about worms.
She shared how her child had so many worms that they had started coming out of his mouth and ears. Almost all of the babies in that group have worms. That's why it's important we do  de -worming or serve food that has provokes natural de -worming.
Can you imagine how scary it would be to see worms coming out of your child's nose and mouth?

I spotted a mother sitting a little away from any of the others. She wasn't a regular. I sat beside her to get to know her and apologized for asking her to repeat so many times. I noticed her baby boy seemed very dazed and weak. He was recovering from measles. She was really worried as he had lost so much weight and had no energy. She said he was a "smiley faced baby a few weeks ago". Mama Lourdes was so worried he had become so very thin.
 I never knew until later that our feeding team had already included him in our feeding for malnourished where he will be fed twice every day. We prayed over him and I hope with my heart he gets his appetite back soon. The lack of life in his eyes pierced through me.

He was the same age as Josiah. He was so very frail.

After talking to her some more, 3 of us accompanied her to her home. It's further down from our base a little. In one of the areas that are more flooded and the trash is pilled in deep deep mush. As we entered her home, we met her husband. He was bent over in a chair holding his side. He just got out of hospital from a liver operation yesterday. He cannot work until recovered meaning the family has no income.
The others ladies told me later they have seen her lately picking food from the trash so she can feed her children.

We heard a sweet voice call "Mama. Mama"
Up the narrow planks of wood we climbed to meet her daughter. Her name is Jennalyn. She is 9 and has hydrocephalus.  She lies on the floor all day now because she is too heavy for the mother to carry downstairs. She had one blanket that was soaked in her urine because the parents could not afford diapers that week. I say this with no disrespect to the family- they had no choice. We stayed with her a long time. She is a beautiful child. Smiley and talkative.

I looked at this mother and wondered how she was able to cope with so many burdens. She told me about each one of her 8 children. She never asked for any help but we could all see she needs it. Her situation is desperate. Really desperate.

Loudes who is going through so much suffering LOVING her son Winmar and saying " its so sad for my baby"
 

Later when filling my husband in, I teared up again. There are some days that just break your heart more than others. It's not just a cry of sadness. It's like a heavy thud of impact trough the heart- a feeling of burden and a deep cry to do something to help. A cry that motivates you to action.
Seeing human suffering hurts. Really hurts.
Many people have honestly admitted to us "I just couldn't do what you are doing. It would be so hard to see"
Yes. It is hard to see .But  it's not about us. It's about the ones who are in the middle of the pain. What are our difficulties and challenges compared to the ones they are living?
There is no comparison.

Helping others is not about feeling good. Visitors sometimes say "it must be so rewarding"

On many days- it's not rewarding at all.

However it is amidst the heartache- an honour.

An honour to have the chance to serve Jesus by loving who He loves. An honour to have a chance to alleviate suffering. An honour to be used by the grace of God as an instrument to touch and change a life for the better.

Ron was just saying to me that people who say "it must be so rewarding" often stay inside the "bubble" that Kalayaan Community Ministries has created. People have expressed the church and community center feel like a "bubble", A "safe house"- a place that people from the rubbish dump can come and "escape" for a while. When you step out of that bubble, you quickly realize that there are many many many people still suffering, still in need of help, in need of hope and in need of Jesus.

This blog is a little all over the place, but just felt I had to try to process and share some of the day. Because I am mostly at home with my babies now, I find seeing the pain of peoples lives more heart wrenching. After years, human suffering does not get easier to be around. I pray God will never let my heart become hard and that I never ever get  used to seeing it.
We should never get used to seeing injustice.
Never.

When we came back from house visits I went into our prayer room to back up my husband who was leading worship. My heart and spirit were re-filled loving Jesus with residents of the community, children and adults singing and lifting up their voices in prayer.
With whispers of love to, songs of thankfulness and tears crying for justice for their families and neighbors.
Two of the mothers who had just accompanied me  to  meet some needs were now lifting up their voices to God for they situations. With tears of compassion asking Jesus to bring hope, help and healing to the families we had reached out to that day.

After house visits the women came into the prayer room to intercede for those suffering in their community.

Maybe it seems like the country has forgotten the people here, but I know that I know God has not.

https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries

We need YOUR help.

(a blog I started sometime ago and got the chance to finish tonight)

Sometimes the amount of need in the communities we serve can only be summed up as overwhelming. On the way home today in the car we both had tears in our eyes. Every time we are there we are confronted with people who just need hope and practical help. It's as simple as that.

The residents living in the rubbish dump and cemetery are brave, strong and resilient in spite of the horrendous living conditions.. They just need support to better develop their community and provide for their families

To say "that's sad" or,"i wish we could do something" honestly doesn't cut it when you feel the heavy burden of people that are suffering more than most of us could imagine.

It pains my heart to the core when I hear individuals express how "bad" they think Tondo is. Educated  people who in fact are so uneducated allow lies to trip off their tounges without having ever been there. Recently I met a very misinformed Doctor who spoke out her stereotypes and fears and ended by saying;
"..never mind trying to help them. If you really want to do something they like just give them food. They like that!"
Her tone was sarcastic, full of judgment and lack of knowledge.
I wonder if she has ever experienced days of hunger?
I don't think so.

Oh how God loves this precious community with a burning unending love. 
He has called each one of us to DO something about the injustices caused through such extreme poverty.

True compassion moves us to action.

 

You don't have to look far to find need, in fact sometimes we feel we are falling over it... But God.....

Every family there has a story. In every family we have known we have found urgent needs.
 I will try to create a little bit of a picture of the kinds of situations our team are confronted with on daily basis.

 

- A mother bringing her children to the feeding programme because they hadn't eaten anything in days and the hunger pangs had become so unbearable they tried to fill the emptiness with mud and insects.

 

- Children who rattle our gate needing festering wounds cleaned because they are playing naked in trash where there is glass, sharp objects and syringes. Sometimes their mothers can't wash the clothes  because they are forced to make the decision that they will buy drinking water instead of water to wash their clothes in.

 

- A baby who just can not stop crying because he is just too hungry. The mother cant breast feed because she is undernourished and so has only been able to give rice water  to her son. He has no tears because he is dehydrated, just the sound of a weak cry.

 

-Parents asking for medicine because they cannot afford the transportation to the pharmacy or clinic and having to make the choice for their children to either stay sick or eat that day.

 

- Hard working fathers in need simply of rubber gloves because there hands are being cut to shreds as they clear the sewers to try and stop the stagnant, human waste filled water flooding their homes.

 

 

- A woman in need of money after giving birth because she is losing too much blood. She is  unable to afford to pay for the bags of blood to stop her bleeding to death.

These are just a few examples at random. There are thousands of situations like these.

 

Overwhelming.



Playing on our church roof in the middle of the rubbish dump. pic taken by KCM visitor Gerard Jean-Claude Clarey

 

 

The good news is, everyone I just wrote about can be helped and has been helped by Kalayaan Community Ministries. But we can only help as much as we are financially able to. We constantly have to pray for wisdom to priorities where the needs are most critical. 

The harsh reality is we cannot always meet the needs.
We are located in the middle of what statistics say is the largest and densely populated slum in the whole country.
The most recent stat puts the figure in Tondo at half a million people.

We cannot reach them all, but we do believe God puts certain individuals and families very obviously in our path. He is a caring Jesus who stopped for one blind man, one begger, one child.......

 Daily we are faced with people who need extra help and that's why we respond to each family on an individual basis. It's not a one solution fits all environment. If only it were that easy. We have to access the needs and then meet them. How can you turn people away who at times have no where else to go for help?

As they need our help. We need your help.

We do need you to be a voice and raise awareness for the children we love here.

We do need more people to commit to giving on a monthly basis so we can use it for the areas of most need.

We do need people to organize fundraisers throughout the year.

Above all we do need you to pray for this work, the team and communities.

The more partners we have the more people can be relieved of some of their burdens..  At times the needs are life or death. This is reality.

Thank you to everyone who already partners with us. Without exaggerating, you are helping save lives and spread good news in a place looked on as the outcast of the nation. We are so grateful for your financial support. We appreciate every person and group who gave in 2013. Thank you to those of you who organized fundraisers, took offerings, funders that have committed long term and people who have made a monthly financial commitment.
We are a small ministry with very little administration costs. We function completely through donations. There is no CEO getting a salary, no fancy office. All staff who are paid are from the dump site or cemetery community.
We know that God is the source for everything. We are continually amazed at how he provides to sustain and develop KCM through the kindness of people. Over the past 6 years He has provided in the most amazing ways- time and time and time again He is faithful. Never early. Never late.


If you feel you would like to know more about what Kalayaan Community Ministries are doing or  to commit to monthly financial giving in 2014, please contact us through kalayaancommunityministries@hotmail.com

KCM are committed to being good stewards of the funds entrusted to us and we have set up an online transparency page where everyone who donates is added and can view incoming funds and what the purpose of these funds are for.

Thank you so much to everyone that continues to partner with us in prayer, giving and volunteering (local and overseas). Real compassion moves hearts to DO something and there is so very much more to do here.

We are so grateful too to the friends who support us personally to do this work. Maybe someone reading this feels they are called somewhere as a missionary, but are worried about how they could possibly manage. If God has truly called you to be somewhere - he WILL provide for you. He will do it in the most unexpected ways in which you will have no doubt he has heard your voice in prayer!. He will test your trust and faith in Him and then do things that will just blow your mind and heart!

We often still wonder why we are doing this when we know there are people much more qualified, more experienced, more Christ like than us.
All I know is we still feel so out of our depth in our selves and I hope that means that anything good that comes of the ministry or us being here is because of God.

I thank God for the many faithful organizations that are working around Tondo and other slum areas in Manila.I thank God for the dedicated missionaries who have gone before us who we can learn from and I thank God for those He will call here after He decides our season is over.

Whatever country we are all in. Whatever work/ministry, we are there for a reason and God can use each one of us (weaknesses and all) to be a blessing to those he has planted us around.


You can catch up with updates through our FB page

https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries?ref=br_rs

 

 

Toddlers do not SEE POOR.

The other day our 2 year old Josiah suddenly asked;
"Mummy, where my friends Tondo?"

He was asking where his friends from Tondo were. As soon as it came out his mouth I got to thinking. He has no concept yet of poverty. No idea that some people live in wealth while other scavenge through trash to find food. He has no awareness whatsoever that Tondo is looked on as one of the most disadvantaged and impoverished areas in the country. He has no idea that many people fear the place and  label the community with stereotypes.

All he knows are His friends are there and he loves them. He gets so excited when we do weekly leadership and volunteer training from our home for members of the community. He watches from the window with excitement waiting to see them appear at our gate and shouts " yeh friends".
 When we take him to our church in Tondo he claps when we turn off at the main road and drive through the narrow pathway leading to where Kalayaan Community Ministries is based. He doesn't see the mounds of black bin bags piled high or the swarms of flies.  He has never reacted to the smell, the lack, the dirt and so on.. He does not feel sorry for anyone there. He has no idea there is much sadness there.When he peers through the window of our car he says "my friends Tondo". He has no awareness of the place yet- only the people. he knows when we get inside the church that his "mga Kuya at mga Ate" (big brothers and sisters) will come inside to play with him, sing, laugh and love him. He does not have a clue yet that the church that he sometimes gets to come to is actually situated in the middle of a rubbish dump.

I thought this was so beautiful and a reminder to me about how I look at people.

How different would our communities be if we only got to know people? What if we never knew their past, where they lived or gossip surrounding them?.Would we be less judgmental?  Would we treat them differently? How many times have we formed an opinion about someone because of what we have heard about them?

JESUS SAW PEOPLE.

So many times in the bible it says " When Jesus SAW..."
" when he saw him"
"when he saw her"
"when he saw them"

It's more than seeing with the physical eye. He stopped for people that others would walk past. He listened to their stories. Imagine God - who already knew everything about them and still listened to their stories! He saw their hearts. He saw them as they would be - what they could be.

I remember when we first set foot in Tondo, of course we saw the awfulness of the place, but it was the people that gripped our hearts and changed the course of our lives. There was one child walking towards us through the trash. Everything seemed grey- apart from her. She smiled and Ron described her as a "ray of sunlight".
I think if we had only seen the heartbreaking sights of the place we would not have returned. But we had the privilege of seeing the people- they are why we went back again and again. From seeing- to knowing - to loving them.

Obviously you have to tell and show people the poverty and the sadness so that they are moved with compassion to help. No matter how many smiley faces and joyful spirits there are , not one of them should be living in a place we heard once described as"the edge of hell". Our friend who said these words in a cry for justice has been in around 80 countries and been to many of the most impoverished areas. He says he has never been anywhere like the community in Tondo dump site area.

If only we had the eyes of Jesus for just a moment....to really see. I know we would be moved with compassion in a new way.
The little touches of compassion that so grips our hearts is more than wanting to help- it's a burning, passionate, heart cry and motivation to do all we can to make wrong things right for people who were created by the very fingers of God. A life mission to see justice where injustice cripples souls, bodies and minds through poverty. A determination to do the hard work and let God do the heart work.

My desire is that you would not forget the places we describe in hope that you feel a stirring up to pray and act, but more than the place, I desire that you know the people. I want you to hear their stories. I am not a writer by any means but I pray the rambling of my heart would describe their lives in a true and balanced way, honoring who they are and in some way, place in us all a burden to do something.
Whether in Manilas slums or in a well to do estate somewhere in the world, none of us have to look  very far to find hurting people or someone that needs help.

Oh that we could really see.

THE YEAR OF METAMORPHOSIS

"I beseech you therefor brethren , by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God"
Romans 12:1-2

Felt these verses being impressed upon my heart at the beginning of a new year.
A new year. A new beginning. The potential for God to plant new dreams in our hearts for us as individuals and the communities we serve. New visions for the future. New opportunities to worship. A new chance to watch Jesus transform my life and the lives of others.

I recently read that word "transformed" in the greek is" metamorphosis" I got blessed by this because the concept that Ron had for our ministry logo was a butterfly- the metamorphosis process. God wants to do this process in each one of us. He wants to renew our minds, change our thought patterns, transform our hearts and lives in the way only he can. Changing us from the inside out to bring beauty to the lives of the people we come into contact with.

Change must start in us. In me.
.
As we spend time with Jesus and get into the cocoon of the word of God our thought patterns and behaviors change. As we get soaked by His love, the love for others increases and we get a stirred up passion to make wrong things right and help the hurting. As we experience His total grace we can never be the same.

Jesus transforms lives. No mater the back ground. No matter the past. No matter what stereotypes society would tag a person with- the saving and transforming power of the cross can cause the old "us" to disappear and in that place be birthed into something NEW.

Jesus can destroy the POVERTY MINDSET. Lies such as
"I will only ever be a scavenger"
"I will always live amongst the tombs"
"It's impossible to graduate from college"
"I am just poor"
...and so on

This is beautiful Ate Nora.
When we met her she was what you would describe as painfully shy. Living amongst trash day in and day out the enemy had planted lies that she should remain unseen, unheard. As she lived daily on a rubbish dump her self worth had been crushed like the junk her feet walked over.
Ate Nora met Jesus and I can testify to the beautiful change of mindset and transformation of life. As she studied the word  of God  at the bible studies and her home she renounced the lies that poverty and the enemy had bound her in. Ate Nhoras recently told us how the Holy Spirit filled her with confidence and boldness.

Here she is being "MC" at the end of year celebration in church. Last year we (Kalayaan Community Ministries) gave her capital to help her in business. She had the confidence to start a cooked food stall. She buys, cooks and sell hot food and has been able to financially support her eldest daughter through college and the younger ones through high school. She stands up regularly in church to speak out the goodness of God and share his word.
Like a beautiful butterfly she has been transformed by Jesus and now bringing beauty to the lives of others. She is full of compassion and I have seen her give food from her store to others on the rubbish dump who cannot afford to pay her for it.

She is just once example of the hundreds how God makes things new. No matter the circumstances- the past, present or depth of poverty- Jesus can make brokenness into beauty.



youth camp 2013

At our recent youth camp the theme was "RECYCLED"
It's an awesome thing to see young people who were once gang members stand up and lift high the transforming power of Jesus Christ. Teenagers who have changed lives crying out to their piers not to remain slaves to the bondage of drugs.
Just one of the metamorphosis moments  was when a young teen who had become addicted to sniffing solvents, had recently sold all his personal belongings to join in with the vices of his "barkada" (gang) , his shaky hands asked for the microphone to pray. Among his stuttering and mixed up words he meaningfully  uttered the words
"I want change in my life"

"THEREFORE, IF ANYONE IS IN CHRIST, HE IS A NEW CREATION; OLD THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY; BEHOLD, ALL THINGS HAVE BECOME NEW." 2Corinth 5:17 

Oh lord, let change begin in our hearts and affect the lives of those you have placed around us. May it be a year of metamorphosis.

"Sing with me Mama"

"Sing with me Mama"

Josiahs sweet voice floated across the room to meet my heart. 

So much to do. I was tired and grouchy because our baby son had been up most of the night teething. I was missing family that week and for the first time in ages was feeling inexplicably "hmmmmph". I never really felt like singing.

Our toddler's scrambled, but melodic phrases of his favorite worship songs filled the room as he pretended to play his overused keyboard. He had arranged for himself a captivated audience of mini plastic people and animals. Even little Eli was joining in with a whistle his brother gave him. He banged it off the floor and chewed it once in a while. :)

"Come on Sing with me Mama"

So i did.

A very simple but true reminder to rise above how we may feel and sing anyway. Don't let your emotions, the world or the enemy's lies steal your song. Don't let any situation or any person rob God of the worship that He deserves.

There are lots of things in our day to day lives that are out of our control. But one thing we always have the choice to do is sing out or speak out the truth of who He is. The unwavering truth of who He is never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I'm thankful He is.

"She died in my arms"

I really wasn't intending to write tonight. It's after 2am. Both our babies are in a peaceful sleep.After yestedays Monster Typhoon there are mothers mourning the loss of their children and families sleeping on the floors of evacuation centers .Here are my boys-healthy- safe.
I am thankful.
I just feel I need to tell you about another Warrior Mother. My heart can't rest tonight thinking about her.
Her name is Lorna.
She lives in the "temporary housing" within the dump site area.
She has 5 children and she also looks after her 2 young grandchildren. Their mother is a bubbly sweet girl but just a  teenager when she had both these children. The pressure got too much for her this year and she fled Tondo leaving mummy Lorna with the 2 babies. Lorna cares as best she can for all of them.

2 weeks ago Ate Lornas youngest daughter Janet passed away. She was 6 years old.

taken 2012-  Janet at her healthiest

I remember the first time we met Janet. She was  a baby. Ate Lorna told us she thought she was sick. Ron held her to pray for her and right away knew that she had something far more than a fever or a cough. Her body was limp and eyes unresponsive. After tests she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

I can witness that Ate Lorna has cared for Janet. She was always so protective of her. Only she carried her from place to place with gentleness. We had a lovely occupational therapist recently volunteer with us whom we asked to dedicate time to Janet. She was so sensitive to Janets needs, but even then Ate Lorna was a little afraid for Janet being moved in new positions. Through the years every time we delivered milk, food or medicine Ate Lorna would always be near her child. Another charity once arranged with the families permission to take Janet into long term respite, but after a few weeks Ate Lorna decided to bring her back to Tondo. She kept this child alive when looking at her tiny form, you would have thought she would have died as a baby.

A couple of nights ago I was celebrating my birthday at the dump site and noticed Ate Lorna had come in and was sitting at the back..I was surprised to see her. I went straight over and hugged her. I had no words. It wasn't time for words. But from one mother to another I felt her heart breaking over Janets loss. I cannot imagine a worse pain. I cannot even imagine. We embraced and wept together. In 6 years of knowing Ate Lorna I have never seen her cry, even through all the struggles that come with fighting to keep your children alive in that community. As tears fell from our faces, she paused and then uttered words that were so unexpected and felt so very out of place;

"Thank you. Thank you for all the big help to my family and Janet."

If I were in this woman's position I think that "Thank you" would have been the very last thing on my mind. Even now writing, the genuine tone of her broken voice echos in my ears. Lorna is a shy woman and often talks with he rhead a little down, but at this moment her eyes were piercing through mine.

"Thankyou"

She continued in a shaky voice to tell of Janets last few moments. I could tell it was important to share the details- how it happened and even the exact time of death. She was a mum telling of the moment when she was forced to let go of her baby. As I held her hand she told me;

"It was beautiful how she died. I saw in her eyes and she died in my arms. In our house"

What she was saying was- it was the best way it could have happened.

Janet took her very last breath in the arms of the one who had faithfully held her every day.

Ron and I were talking and just saying how it is impossible to even try to understand this situation. A little girl born into a dump site and enduring suffering for 6 years. I don't know why. I don't know why at the unfairness and injustice that if this little girl had been born in the UK for example she would have received much more care and Lorna more support. I don't know why Ate Lorna had to watch her daughter have a life of suffering and then die in her arms.
When our church in Tondo surrounded her and were praying for her Ron spoke out that the secret mysteries belong to God. These words from my husbands lips have been repeating in my heart.The reality is none of us have an answer for this kind of human suffering, but we have to trust that God is the giver and the taker of life. He decides when we will be born and when we will die. For any of us who has lost a loved one this is easier to say than really believe because for us, the time they were taken feels so wrong and after years feels so raw, but we need to believe that the God who breathed his very life in them, knew it was the right time that they take their last.

I just want you to know there was a little girl called Janet who was loved. And I want you to know there is a mother called Lorna who loved her.

In all the time we have known this family I only ever seen Janet respond on one occasion.
She looked at her Mama and smiled.

Please pray for Ate Lorna and the family.


"The secret things belong to the Lord Our God..." Deuteronomy 29:29

Trick or Treat?

I am anticipating some of my good friends will disagree with my feelings below but people have asked me recently my view point on Halloween and so I thought I would just scribble it down.

So apparently there are  a couple of lines of thought to the origins of Halloween- one pagan and one Christian. In my opinion there is nothing Christian about it, in fact quite the opposite. Here in the Philippines and other parts of Asia Halloween is more about visiting the graves of loved ones who have passed. There is nothing wrong with remembering them however there is in my view something wrong with praying for their souls. From my experience in Scotland I would say its more about parties and costumes. But before I dig myself a pit due to lack of cultural and historical knowledge let me just say that although I do think that there is most definatly pagan and Occult roots in Halloween my following thoughts come from simply being a concerned Mama and not a scholar!

In all honestly I just don't get it! I don't get why we would want our children to celebrate Halloween at all.

Why would we want our beautiful faced children to temporarily trade that in for a gruesome Halloween mask?

Obviously not every parent chooses to dress their kids up in a scary costume, but in the last couple of days I have seen toddlers dressed as devils, witches, goblins... and so on.  I don't really understand. Why would any of us want to dress our kids with things that are anything but light, love and laughter?


 I don't get either how it is OK for us to encourage our children to knock on the doors of strangers, or even neighbors to trick or treat. Isn't it a bit of a contradictory message when most probably every other day of the year we are telling them not to take things from from strangers or go to the homes of people they don't know?

We try to protect them from violent images on TV etc and yet it seems that on this one day we drop the standard and leave them open to visual images of blood, gruel and gore.

 I know parents just see it all as a bit fun, a chance for a party and dress up, but my mind kind of boggles as to why we would want to celebrate anywhere around images that could potentially scare our kids. And that's one of the main points of Halloween right? Too scare?

Of course it's not terrifying for us to see skeletons, Frankenstein masks or cut out cardboard of the grim reaper. But yesterday I learned taking a 2 year old to a play area that was decorated with "spooky" images that it's kind of is a big deal for a little guy who has never seen these things before.


A few random facts you may or may not know about the origins of Haloween . Now this is straight from google so don't blame me! :) I just thought it be interesting to google to see what came up! Maybe I am just being a party pooper!

-"Halloween is a celebration to remember the dead and the day when witches begin their rituals".

-"Halloween culture can be traced back to the Druids, a Celtic culture in Ireland, Britain and Northern Europe. Roots lay in the feast of Samhain, which was annually on October 31st to honor the dead."


-"The Celts believed the souls of the dead roamed the streets and villages at night. Since not all spirits were thought to be friendly, gifts and treats were left out to pacify the evil and ensure next years crops would be plentiful. This custom evolved into trick-or-treating".

-"Jackolanturn/ Carved Pumkin-Occultists also would try to scare away the spirits by carving a scary face into a pumpkin. This horrible visage would hopefully move the spirit on to another home or village and spare that home from destruction. Sometimes the villagers would light a candle and place it within the pumpkin and use it as a lantern (hence the name, Jack-o-Lantern). This is the origin of carving pumpkins at Halloween."

-"some of the games used at Halloween parties derived from divination"


Actually there is loads of information about the origins of Halloween, I have merely picked a few at random. My point is that personally I wouldn't want my kids to be associated with any of the above even if it's "just a bit of fun"Now please I am by no means saying that anyone who dresses up their child in a cute or funny costume is intending to deliberately celebrate the actual meaning of Haloween. However while many of us collect candy at doors, play games and have a laugh over who's costume is the best , the reality is that there are witches and occultists who are celebrating in a more serious way. On this same night there is satanic rituals going on. Whether you believe it is a special holiday to those involved in the occult or not, Im afraid it is.Even in the communities we work in Manila witchcraft and occult practices are very very real.
 Here is a piece of info I came across about real Halloween-


" The Druids were in a secret place, were in satanic worship.  In their own way, they were appeasing the spirits and their god of the dead through ritual known as human sacrifice.  Every year the local high priest would select a virgin and impregnate her, making sure that the baby would be born one month before the festival of the dead.
On Halloween night the baby would be killed, its blood poured over the satanic altar and burned as a sacrifice.  The woman would then become high priestess for the next year, until this satanic ritual was carried out again.  The terrible thing about this is that it is still going on today.  Police reports show that children disappearing increase tremendously during the months of September and October."

Whether due to lack of information, tradition or not wanting our kids to be different from their classmates- Christian mothers I urge you just to re-think and ask yourself if there is really a  good reason that your children are taking part in a Halloween Celebrations.
 My personal opinion is that there is not one.

The Trick of the enemy is to have us think it's just all a big joke when in fact it's far from funny.

Let's have our kids be "followers of God as dearchildren" (Eph 5:1) and think about other creative ways we can let them dress up play games and have fun without it being related to Halloween.


"....proclaim the praises of Him who called you OUT OF DARKNESS into His marvelous LIGHT..." 1 Peter 2:9

Another Warrior Mama..

Meet Luz, Viv and Minda....

6 days ago  Mama Bebe went into labor. Kuya Ronald delivered the first little girl in their 8x8 ft home in the middle of the dump site area. The baby seemed well but Ronald began to panic as his wife continued to have very strong contractions and the urge to push. He knew something was different because he has delivered their other 5 children and this has never happened. He quickly called a midwife and she arrived just in time for baby girl number 2 and 3!!!

What a miracle and brave parents!

One of our volunteers offered to accompany them to the hospital to get the triplets and Bebe checked. The parents were very reluctant as their earning from working hard collecting trash to sell at the junk shop had only accumulated to P80 (£ 1.14 that day,

Kuya Ronald like many of the fathers in Tondo is hardworking. He can be seen pushing his junk cart day and night to provide for his family. The harsh reality is no matter how many dedicated hours he does this the absolute most he has ever made for a full days work is P200 (£2.88)

They eventually agreed to go to the hospital with our volunteer and get the babies checked and vaccinated.

I spent a long time in their home the other day and it took me back to when our boys were newborn- only times three! Bebe was breast feeding while Ronald was bottle feeding another and I was enjoying cuddles from "number 3". Then one would sleep and another would wake with a tiny cry. They swapped babies while one was rocked to sleep and the other parent changed a diaper. I was tired and in awe watching them! They both still had time to gush over their newborns with smiles, talking in tagalog about how they looked different and that they never thought they were identical.

Their heads were so tiny in my big white hand! What a total God miracle.

We are thankful for partners who have helped us meet the initial needs of the family. Our heart is to help Ronald set up a small business to raise their income so that he can better provide for the now  family of 10. We would also like to bless them with a house renovation. At the moment it is a tiny one level house. As I sat with them I tried to imagine how 10 bodies would crush in here. I could not imagine in what position they were able to sleep as it was already crushed just with 4 of us in it.

I have used the term "warrior mama" on lots of occasions to describe many of our Mummy friends in Tondo and Navotas. I think anyone who gives birth is deserving of this title because it takes the maximum endurance and intense strength of heart and body to deliver a small person! How much more with no medical assistance? They have to fight for their baby every day of their pregnancy. Many of them have to fight for daily survival not only for themselves but their children. They are warrior families. Warrior Fathers who work and work at something many in the country look down on. They wade through rotton garbage, sell it and provide for their families because they don't want a hand out. They want to work. In all our time in Tondo I can honestly say that not one of the men there has asked us for money or begged. These men are hardworking men.

How good to know that we have The supreme warrior servant King- Jesus fighting for us. There are times when we get tired and weak just as the families living on the dump site. They go through times when physically , mentally, emotionally and spiritually they are exhausted. If we have put our trust in Jesus these are the moments I can imagine Him picking up his sons and daughters, throwing them firmly but with tender care  over His strong shoulders and carrying them till they can walk again- until we have the strength of heart to get back in the fight again.

"God will fight for us" Nehemiah 4:20

Please would you pray for the triplets , Mama Bebe and Papa Ronald. The ages of the other children are 2, 8,10,14 and 15.

Glitter on my face. Love in my heart.

Before I gave birth to our sweet Baby Eli I wondered if I would love both our babies the same.I wondered how my heart could hold any more love since it was already bursting with love for our first born. Did you wonder this aswell when you just had one? Please tell me im not the only one?! For 18 months I had focused pretty much all my energy on our Josiah.. I was elated we were having another boy. I had hoped we would have 2 boys close in age. But I also wondered what the uncharted territory of having 2 and loving 2 would be like.
But after 2 and half hours of intense pain, I gave birth on the floor to our baby and right there amidst the mess (child birth is seriously messy) I fell in love with Eli Domingo. Chubby cheeks and black spikey hair. I was smitten all over again. Tiny eyes locked onto mine for the first time
.I loved him before he was born but now  I SO loved him.

And then it happened- my heart grew.

I loved two.

I couldn't explain it. But I KNEW and I could tell my teary eyes husband felt the same. Our hearts had most definatly expanded and we loved another little amazing person. The creator of the universe had fashioned and formed our baby son exactly how He wanted him. I cannot even think of words to describe my feelings about that. It's overwhelming.

A lovely friend who also has 2 boys close in ages said to me "Don't worry Jo, the best gift you could give them is each other"

... and it's true

. Don't get me wrong there have been times and are times when one hugs the other a little (or a lot) too vigorously! A few bite marks and jealous yells! However the younger is now starting to defend himself by hair pulling! (why did no one tell me about this bit??!!) But even in the moments of chaos- I see how close the two are becoming and it just fills up my heart. Being a mum has allowed me to experience Gods love in a new way. So many many ways. I am forever grateful.

The other day we were playing with craft materials.As Ron walked in the door from work the 3 of us were covered with blue and yellow glitter. Just another precious, messy memory I don't want to forget.

Glitter on my face. Love in my heart :)