My responsiblity.

"Please God. Don't show me anymore new needs today" was the whisper of my heart this week.

I know that sounds so selfish and silly.
What I meant was that we (the team) are dealing with so many needs already and it seems that every time we set foot on the dump site we are presented with more critical needs.

Urgent needs. Desperate needs.

 I don't mean that people come and ask us for  anything. I mean individuals and families are really suffering and the needs are just desperate at times and right in front of our faces. No sooner had I uttered that sentence in my heart than I heard and felt the following words like a loud, booming compress in my spirit;

"If we the church don't respond to the needs then who will?

If you don't respond who will?

IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY"

The fact is it is our responsibility as the church, the body of Christ, the hands and feet of Jesus, a fellow human being to do something to help people who are hurting.

Yes it will hurt to see such suffering.

Yes some nights you wont sleep because you feel the burden of their situation weigh heavy on you.

They will be on your heart. On your mind.

You will think and pray and wonder about the most helpful and sustainable way to respond.
In some cases there is NO other option but to respond straight away.
Budgets will be adjusted and priorities re-arranged again. You will constantly reassess the most pressing needs. It's not renovations or making the place look nicer. It's not repairing the vehicles . It's no longer a field trip or purchasing another instrument- it's helping someone to survive- to make it.

We need to ask God to let us see our communities as He sees them.
He doesn't see them as a mass numerical blur.
He sees individuals.
He sees them and He cares. He sees them and responds.

The hungry are our responsibility
The hurting are our responsibility
The widow, the orphan , the sick, the lonely are OUR responsibility.

But there is too much need and would never know where to start right? We could never help everyone right?

Start with those around you. Start with those whose stories you hear. God will clearly lead you to that someone... and the next.... and the next.
Ron and I find that God clearly puts the next person or the next family in front of us to help and we just KNOW.

Response doesn't have to mean money, though it can. The greatest response to need is LOVE. Loving those who don't have anyone else. Response is our TIME. Response is LISTENING. Response is using our RESOURCES to make things a little easier for them.

A real response in genuine love and care is sacrifice and according to what Jesus demonstrated through his life that is what true love  should be- sacrifice.

Sigh, how often does our (my) selfishness get in the way. I, me, my can run out our (my) mouth so easily can't they? Our feelings. Our needs. Our expectations.

Loving the hurting stranger, loving those in our community, loving our children, loving our spouses should be a sacrifice and with that sacrifice would come joy because  it is better to give away than get. An upside down, radical principle, but a biblical truth nonetheless.

I am learning that loving is not always doing something immediately, but can be just being there. In many ways it's so much easier to go into a slum community and DO something. DO a program. DO a ministry. DO a "thing" (and they "things" whatever they are can be of great value) But for me personally doing the things are easier than just sitting beside someone who is the embodiment of human suffering and doing nothing but listening with everything in that moment. To really listen to the stories, to their lives and hurts is one of the most difficult things and yet this is where relationship and often friendships are built.

The day I said "please don't show me any more needs today"

He did show me more.

Raquel.



Raquel in her home talking to Ron about her situation



Raquel in the KCM "Mama and Me" playgroup

Raquel has been coming to the mother and babies group for a couple of months. Initially she always sat alone because she comes from a different area of the dump site than the majority come from. It's only in the past couple of weeks that we have learned more about her situation. She has never asked for anything. She has never spoke about her troubles unless asked.

I noticed the fist time she and her 2 children joined the group at the way her face would light up when her youngest baby girl smiled. Her 7 month old honestly has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. She is such a happy baby. Small for her age, but really obviously happy.

Raquel is often the first mother to come through the gates and just always starts to play with her kids. One day a couple of weeks ago she began opening up about her situation after I asked about her husband.

"He left us 7 weeks ago. He took my middle son with him"

For 7 weeks 22 year old Raquel has had no income as her husband was the one to earn through recycling.. For 7 weeks she has been grieving and missing her 3 year old second born son.

Her Father left when she was a little girl and her mother is dead. She doesn't have anyone to support her, apart from neighbors who "sometimes give rice when they have it". 
She has been doing her very best and has been determined to try and feed her children something each day sometimes by peeling garlic to make a few pesos and sometimes selling pag-pag (waste food that is recycled)
Other women in the community told me they see her picking food from the trash, sometimes to feed her children and sometimes to sell. Can we even begin to imagine what we would do if there was no other option for food to fill the ache in our children's stomachs?

Her home is situated in one of the worst parts of the area. You have to step though so mush sludge, water and trash to reach it. Her home is 2x5 foot long. No electricity. It is a tiny shanty with holes in the roof and chicken wire and old boards for walls. She has wood on the ground where she and the children sleep. There are pieces of tarpaulin covering it which is kept spotlessly clean for the babies to lie on.

What struck me about Raquel the first time I observed her in the mothers group and every week after was how gentle she was with her children and the way her face glowed with a big beautiful smile every time her children would smile.

Ron and I spent a long time with Raquel one day this week in her home and I just cannot get her out of my heart. We both felt that  her children were the only reason she has kept going. Kept surviving. Kept trying to provide somehow.

Would you pray for Raquel please?

Her youngest child is now on our daily feeding program where she is fed twice a day. I was encouraged to hear from the lips of the women from the  other side of the dump site that they have began getting to know her and talking to her.
She is being given weekly groceries and rice delivered by our feeding team. We will do a house repair soon to help keep the rain out and  a micro enterprise business which she can operate from home so that she could earn money without having to leave her children.
More than all this though, we would like you to pray that through her getting to know other mums at the group and those in our team she would no longer feel so alone. We want her to know she is cared about, thought about and loved. What a brave and loving mother to have kept going.

"it's because I have strength inside" she told us.

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble.." James 1:27

Oh that I could have a heart to never want to miss a chance to do this. Oh for eyes that could see past myself and see people like Jesus would.


https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries

Gangs and Grace.

I was trying to think about a title that might cover some of what's been going on the last couple of months and much of it seems to revolve around GANGS and GRACE.

Our center in Tondo is situated in the heart of a community where there are many hard working Fathers and Mothers who strive and push their bodies and minds to the limit just to provide their children something to eat each day. There are compassionate, self sacrificing, loving and motivated people here.
They are collecting and selling trash instead of begging. They are WORKING trying to make an honest living. They are recyclers.

However the depth of poverty can drive a person to do very desperate things at times. Within the community are syndicates. Those who make money from drugs, crime and killing. Gang affiliations are normal and gang fights nothing new
From what we have observed there are 2 types of gangs, the younger men who join to belong and often end up as the fall back guy, they get labeled as "rugby boys"- boys that are addicted to sniffing solvents. They get caught up in petty crimes that often escalate to bigger ones.

Then there are the senior gang members. Their common place gang wars and gun riots strike fear in the younger children. Shootings and slashing a signature trademark.
" There's a riot. There's a riot" we hear the youngsters call to each other. The next movement after the small voices are usually that of  the mothers moving speedily outside to bring their children to a safer place.

When I see young children running around in an imaginary world with toy guns I get a deep heavy bolder like feeling in the pit of my stomach because this world is real to them.

They see violence. They know it.


taken by Misha Somerville while spending day with us



taken by Misha Somerville while spending day with us

Ron has witnessed quite a lot of gang fights whilst being there. I have only ever been around one. We were teaching kids choir on a Tuesday evening and then shots came from the roof. There was heavy footed thumping as the men ran across the corrugated iron above us. The children screamed and then the guard shouted  across the hall that one of the gun men had come in the back entrance to our building.
Ron and I huddled the group of children together and we went out the front gate and crouched together in the farthest corner. It was soon over and everything went back to "normal".

Gang riots have always been there, but since January we have been aware of increase activity in the community. We know about 6 murders all within walking distance from our base. They have all been gang/drug related , apart from one which was the rape and murder of a 12 year old girl.
2 were of policemen that died through gangs throwing grenades into their barangay out post.  There is definite increased tension between the local gangs and community police within the last month.
One shooting was across from our center in broad daylight.

It's a crazy mixture of calm, joy, busyness, violence and crime.

We have been hesitant writing about the killings because
1. there are already so many negative stereotypes about the area (many untrue)
2. we didn't want to terrify teams that had already booked their tickets to come!

At the same time we feel we should give an honest and balanced account about what has been going on. When sharing with friends it sometimes feels like we are describing a movie, but the facts are these are the issues the families living there are dealing with and living through.

But I can say that in the midst of all this strife there has been much Grace. God moving in lives in the way that only He can.

We have been working with a boy, lets call him "Ally" We were supporting him through school and he was doing so great. He began getting involved with the wrong group of friends. At 12 years old he sold everything he had, down to his very school shoes and notebooks to get money to buy glue to sniff. He became very reliant on solvents. He slept wherever around the dump site. I don't need to go into everything he got involved in.  At home horrendous things were taking place. His 14 year old sister was being pimped out by her boyfriend. Sold for sex to older men in the community- at 14 years old.
The first time she was brave enough to make that initial step into our place I will never as long as I live forget how quickly she ate a plate of food. As her eyes rolled from whatever she was taking at the time, her hands grabbed the rice and shoveled it into he mouth.

"Ally" had been hiding from us for a few months but Ron had been looking for him. A few weeks ago after church he ran into the hall crying saying "big brother Ron. I heard you were looking for me. I have so many vices now"
He's 12 years old.

Long story short, with the consent of his parents we had him stay with us for a "vacation" and other member of our team have been taking care of him since then also. In such a short time, he is doing much better. No longer using. Trying to stay away from the wrong people and aiming to get back in school after the summer holidays. He's just a lovely, funny and sweet boy. We are seeing him laugh and joke again just like he used to. He comes in and out of the house of prayer and just lifts his hands and his voice to talk to God. My heart was just overwhelmed hearing his husky voice so sincerely talk to God to help him stay on track.
Pray for Him. Our team love this kid. He has a world of potential still to be unlocked. I don't want to go into his story or post his name and picture because I believe that one day he will tell his whole story for himself.



KCM Community Basket ball court opened as part of the mens outreach

Last year Ron , Ptr Dodong and Rons dad  started a mens group. This year we have seen God move in the hearts of some of the Fathers in a special way. The men that are involved in the mens group  are some of the key leaders in the community.  Amongst them drug dealers, gang members and an assassin. Yes, an actual assassin who used to be hired to kill people for a living.

I say "used to" because he asked Jesus into his heart and there have been big changes. His story should be a whole blog of its own!
Men who used to scorn their children for coming to kids church are now serving as volunteers in the church! Their wives and children testifying to the changed in their lives. We long to see many many more Father and husbands come to know Jesus.

Ministries are important. Community programs needed. But we believe and have seen many many times that it's only JESUS that can change a heart , do a deep work from the inside and transform a life.



gospel outreach last Friday

Last weekend the team done a gospel outreach in an area where gangs trouble in prevalent and near where the little 12 year old was raped and left for dead. The youth prepared drama/music presentation, a film was shown and the good news shared. In all honesty the team had expected a hard atmosphere. Ron came home and said
"that place was so ready for that!"
After the outreach was done 41 men, women and children walked back to our center to know more about giving their lives to Christ! We rejoice with the angels for those who began a new journey and we pray that lasting fruit will come from their lives.



taken by Thomas Tham while leading a photography work shop with KCM youth Navotas

 




Navotas Team Leaders Ptr Dodong (second from left) and Ate Virgie (flower shirt)

Lots of prayer needed for our church members and all the children and youth we serve through our program's in Navotas Cemetery.

The National Housing Association has confirmed that the demolishing of their homes will begin this June. Some have been given an eviction notice to leave by May.

The government authorities will relocate the families between 2 resettlement areas, Bulacan and Tanza. Those who do not pass a drug test or have over 5 children they will be relocated to the further away and larger area.

The residents are going through so much uncertainty right now and worried about having to take their children out of school, finding work and starting over.

 Would you pray for them and our team as we walk through these changes with them. In particular remember our Navotas staff and volunteers and team leaders there Ptr Dodong and Ate Virgie. I have learned so much from the beautiful couple  about real joy. I love worshipping in this church. There is a real, raw spirit or worship and happiness in Jesus. Outside are tombs, death and bags of bones and inside a tangible freedom for the Spirit of God to move. 
The building we use where the church meet will also be knocked down, but that is only the building. It's the people who are the church and God use them to reach out to others wherever they are relocated.

Baptisms at the dump site yesterday

Today was a lovely time as people were baptized in our new little pool. Obviously where a person is immersed  doesn't matter a bit, but we are just thankful for this because of what we usually baptize in-
A paddling pool which gets more holes every time and usually while Ptr Dodong is baptizing , Ron is going around the outside trying to patch it up with scotch tape!  (It's an amusing sight!)


When thinking about a kind of update blog, it's always really difficult to know what to include! But please do pray for;

1. Comfort for the families in Navotas who are facing so many changes and unknown future and wisdom for us to know the most effective ways to help

2 For the safety of the children in Tondo during gang wars. The issues that come with the parents with gang affiliations are no quick fix, but our team continues to build good relationship and we are seeing little cracks in the strongholds of territorialism (through our mothers and father groups)

3 For our whole teams at Kalayaan Community Ministries. We all constantly having to priorities as there are always so many needs at one time.

4. For the extra activities that will be run over April and May summer holidays- children's field trips, music projects, kids clubs, vacation bible school and additional feeding sessions
.
5. For more sponsors for the teenagers on our waiting list ready to go to college.

above 3 pictures taken by Andra Whyte overseas volunteer

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10.10




 

Clear the stage.

"Clear the stage"- written by Jimmy Needham

(click here to listen)

http://youtu.be/6smGew7dGto

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols
Jerk the pews & all the decorations, too
Until the congregations few, then have revival
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends
Until you're broken for your sins, you can't be social
Then seek the lord & wait for what he has in store
And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful

'cause you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong; worship is more than a song

Take a break from all the plans that you have made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper
Beg him please to open up his mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open
Then read the word and put to test the things you've heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken

We must not worship something that's not even worth it
Clear the stage, make some space for the one who deserves it

Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol

'cause i can sing all i want to
Yes, i can sing all i want to
I can sing all i want to
And still get it wrong
And you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong; worship is more than a song
Worship is more than a song
Worship is more than a song

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols

A baby on my hip and shorts at my ankles!

A baby on my hip while I chop veggies one handed,a talent I have recently come to find! The other baby hanging round my ankles pulling at my shorts.
I continue to chop in a hurried frenzy before chaos escalates and then I  notice that our baby has pulled my shorts round my ankles.

I continued to chop the vegetables anyway!

Maybe 5 minutes later in the midst of the "Mama can you help me", "Mummy can I have  a drink", "Mamamamamaaaaa" (in other words can you stop what you are doing NOW, pick me up, cuddle me and breast feed NOW pleeaaaaaaase" that I burst out laughing as I thought about how this picture looked.

Baby on hip. Baby at my feet. Shorts at my ankles. Unwashed hair thrown up on top of my head and tears streaming down my face with the sting of the onions I was in the middle of cutting!
Why don't you see this picture of motherhood in the magazines eh?

It's not THAT chaotic all the time, but there ARE moments!
Anyone else?!

Being a Mummy can be JOYFULLY- CHAOTICALLY- EXHAUSTING!!!

When I had one baby I got shocked by the lack of sleep.
With two babies I got shocked at the lack of time!

Some days us mums don't get an actual minute to ourselves. I mean , even on the toilet right? Nothing is sacred anymore!
Some days it feel like I have a baby permanently latched on to me drinking milk day and night. I sometimes feel like a cow or limitless milk dispenser.
Some days I wonder if I have broken the record for picking up random bits of cereal that get thrown or scattered from breakfast time. Some days I feel like the champion nappy changer. There must be a competition somewhere for changing two in high speed time?!

Funny times!

Our baby son Eli will be one next month. Without a doubt it's the quickest year of my life. I have been feeling little seconds of sadness about it. I don't feel like I've missed anything (which I'm thankful for), but it's just been FAR TOO FAST.

We need to cherish and embrace the exhausting days- the chaotic days- the long days because the reality is they are really  beautiful days.

The same tiny hands that want to be glued to my leg while trying to cook dinners will one day wave goodbye as he starts his first day of school. The same little arms that want to constantly hand round  my neck will one day be too big to carry.
The same little voice that calls "can you help me", "lets play Mummy", "I need you Mummy" and "can I have a drink please" ' (this feels like a particularly overused phrase at the moment) will one day be too old to play, able to pour a drink for himself and not need me quite so often..
How many times have I heard parent friends say how fast time goes, how quickly they grow. Already I feel this is more than a parental cliche- it's reality.

These are precious times. Blessed times. Treasured times.

 Joyful, chaotic, exhausting, blessed and special times.

For the last few days I have had a phrase and melody pumping through my heart-

"In the small things, let our hearts sing "I will be faithful"

Our lives as parents are filled with what some may see as "small things"- wiping messy faces, washing sticky hands, responding to "little" needs from the sun rises until it sets (and often through the nights!), picking up toys again and again and sweeping the crumbs of food from under the high chair again and again..... and again!

They seem like small things, but when we do them with great love they become acts in which we are being faithful. Small things , mundane things can become little offerings of worship all through the day and night! 

I am writing this to remind myself that
- every task, sleepless night, moment is an opportunity to show love to my beautiful gifts from God
- every moment is an opportunity to worship
- every moment will pass and become a memory.

Don't lose heart.

Maybe you read my blog a couple of weeks ago mentioning a little boy called Winmar whom we met for the first time that day. He was sick and very undernourished. With a heavy heart I share with you that he never made it.
As soon as we met the family that day we knew it was a desperate situation. Our team at Kalayaan Community Ministries done everything to try to help. Covered the daily food needs of the family, paid for medicines and hospital fees and included him in our feeding program for malnourished.

But we found him too late.

What if  this family had come to us even a few weeks before? Would it have made a difference?
Only God knows.

In moments like these it doesn't matter how many people's lives we are helping.
- one child dead through the effects of poverty is one too many.

The little boy who died was the same age as my son Josiah. 2 and a half years old.

The mother loved her son. I love my sons.
She breast fed to provide him with the most sustenance he could have even though she herself was lacking nutrition. I breast feed too.
The mother wanted the best for him. Wanted him to grow up happy, healthy and live a life of purpose. That's my desire also.

So what's the gaping chasm of a difference?

Her son was born into poverty on a rubbish dump. Mine was not.

Right now my sons are lying here beside me fast asleep on a comfortable bed, clean, healthy with full bellies.

Our Josiah and Eli

Her son lies in a tiny white casket in the ground because his frail body was so undernourished with lack of food that he just could not fight the measles and pneumonia anymore.

Winmar doing his "best smile"

After 6 years of looking into open caskets, I can never and will never get used to seeing dead children. When you have seen them laugh and play and live and then view them motionless, pale and without expression- words cannot describe. Looking in to see the body of a loved one is a sign of respect to the family and a cultural norm. I don't think it will ever feel normal for me.

Just a few weeks ago we were able to help "save" a little boys life  who was on our feeding program for the most malnourished in the community. He too was diagnosed with measles and pneumonia.

baby Caleb with Mama Jane after he got out hospital a few weeks ago. We thank God he's doing great now.

 

The only difference?
We found him much sooner and have been working with the family for more than a year already.

It's been a challenging few weeks for various reasons and very sad week with 2 deaths of people we loved and knew in the community.
Yes, good and positive things have happened too, but when you are in this kind of work for the long hall losing people that you have poured out everything to try to help is just heart crushing.

When you really invest your time, resources and life in a certain community of people- you will laugh with them- you will weep with them. You will share their highest of highs and their lowest of lows because they become your family.

Ron just got home late from the dump site to find me perched at the side of the bed.

I was thinking about several of the families situations and just talking to God.
With honesty and pain in my heart and voice I mumbled to my husband;

"there is so much need in that place"

He replied

"and it's our privilege to be there"

My husband is right.

I love his heart.

I stay home with our boys while he is on the field. He sees more heartbreak than me now. Hears more stories that seem so horrific you would think they are from some movie. But they are very real.
He never gives up on people. No matter the setbacks- he keeps loving them. No matter the sacrifice, he keeps helping them. He does so many things to help people in that community and out with it, that no one even hears about and that's the way he likes it to be. He doesn't like to be in pictures. He just loves, helps and demonstrated what the gospel is about when no eyes are on him.

My husband is right.
 Being here, knowing this community and sharing their deep sorrows as well as their great joys is a privilege. And I  must remember this during the times I dare to grumble and moan about my own challenges.

After time with my husband, I kept thinking about this verse and its been burying itself deep into my being since i read it again-


And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

I personally don't think that losing heart means you have lost the passion or you are so overcome with challenges that you want to quit. I think it can mean that sometimes your heart gets so weighed down with the sorrows and burdens of suffering that your mind, emotions and spirit become weak and you  question whether you are being effective at all.

There's another translation of this verse that says  "for in due season we shall reap if we faint not".

So how can we (I) make sure we "faint not" or  don't "lose heart"?
- For me the application is twofold;
1. Take it ALL to Jesus. Give it ALL to Him.. Get refreshed by being with Him. Sit alone and pour it all out to Him- the challenges, the tears, the burdens, the hopes, the dreams, the successes and the failures. Don't try and make it sound pretty. Tell it like it is. He already knows!
2: Don't listen to the lies of the enemy when he tells you , you are not making a difference. Get around people who can encourage you and lift your heart.

I found this verse resonate with my heart as a mummy too. Mother hood is a ministry- a marvelously, joyful, chaotic, challenging and at times frustrating one. Anyone agree?!

 I think in particular if you are a stay at home mum you go through "those days". Your day is filled with tasks that sometimes feel unimportant. But they are not! Each act is a way of caring , loving, nurturing our children. Through some of the days that may feel really long and are exhausting, remember the bigger picture. This verse says, if we don't lose heart we will reap.
Reap- to gather in, to get a result, to see a great harvest!

So whatever your tasks are today. Whatever the challenges you are facing. Whoever you are reaching out to or whoever you are carrying the burdens for-
DON'T LOSE HEART.

Some days suffering can only be expressed in tears and prayer.

 Being here is both heartbreaking and a privilege. Sometimes the things we see and the stories we hear from the families we know are difficult to properly communicate. Some days I can't bring myself to share them and some days I feel like I must try to write it down in hope that someone reading would feel compelled to remember the people here who seem forgotten by their own country at times.

10.30am: rushed into ministry base to set up activities and toys for mama and toddlers group on the rubbish dump
Feeling a little stressed (as we got stuck in traffic) but happy to be there

11am
Mothers and babies filled the room and began playing with toys and chatting on the floor as babies crawled, rolled, ran, played with toys on every available space!

I began going around the ladies, sitting on the floor with them chatting, listening to how their week had been and reminding myself that I really need to find time to work on my tagalog because I still sound like a pre-schooler when I talk!
As I moved from group to group, listening , talking , laughing  with the Mamas I saw a much older lady whom had never been. She was holding a 4 month old boy. I thought she must have had a miracle baby because she looked really quite old! Turned our she was the Lola (gran) who was looking after the little boy.

The baby had no diaper and when he urinated he began to cry. Then the gran lifted his faded, tattered yellow t shirt to show me.
His private parts were raw. I mean raw. His skin was bright reddish- almost purple. His skin was peeling off. His rashes were so awful that when he urinated it hurt so bad. He cried for a long time.
Some of the mothers are not able to afford diapers and so do their best by cutting up flour sacks as a replacement. With the best of intention to make a diaper, it often rubs the skin so raw and the urine has no where to soak into.
In my life I have never seen diaper rash like that. I went to the stock room to get cotton to clean him, diaper and sudocream. Ron had his hands covered in ink trying to fix the printer when I came in. I looked at him and my eyes filled with tears. I stood with him for a moment to get myself together and returned to the ladies.

I shuffled across to another group of women who are very talkative. One was saying how breast feeding made her really hungry and the others were laughing and admiring how she gained weight in her cheeks.She looked much healthier than usual and used to be really skinny. One of the newer mothers to the group then began asking advice about worms.
She shared how her child had so many worms that they had started coming out of his mouth and ears. Almost all of the babies in that group have worms. That's why it's important we do  de -worming or serve food that has provokes natural de -worming.
Can you imagine how scary it would be to see worms coming out of your child's nose and mouth?

I spotted a mother sitting a little away from any of the others. She wasn't a regular. I sat beside her to get to know her and apologized for asking her to repeat so many times. I noticed her baby boy seemed very dazed and weak. He was recovering from measles. She was really worried as he had lost so much weight and had no energy. She said he was a "smiley faced baby a few weeks ago". Mama Lourdes was so worried he had become so very thin.
 I never knew until later that our feeding team had already included him in our feeding for malnourished where he will be fed twice every day. We prayed over him and I hope with my heart he gets his appetite back soon. The lack of life in his eyes pierced through me.

He was the same age as Josiah. He was so very frail.

After talking to her some more, 3 of us accompanied her to her home. It's further down from our base a little. In one of the areas that are more flooded and the trash is pilled in deep deep mush. As we entered her home, we met her husband. He was bent over in a chair holding his side. He just got out of hospital from a liver operation yesterday. He cannot work until recovered meaning the family has no income.
The others ladies told me later they have seen her lately picking food from the trash so she can feed her children.

We heard a sweet voice call "Mama. Mama"
Up the narrow planks of wood we climbed to meet her daughter. Her name is Jennalyn. She is 9 and has hydrocephalus.  She lies on the floor all day now because she is too heavy for the mother to carry downstairs. She had one blanket that was soaked in her urine because the parents could not afford diapers that week. I say this with no disrespect to the family- they had no choice. We stayed with her a long time. She is a beautiful child. Smiley and talkative.

I looked at this mother and wondered how she was able to cope with so many burdens. She told me about each one of her 8 children. She never asked for any help but we could all see she needs it. Her situation is desperate. Really desperate.

Loudes who is going through so much suffering LOVING her son Winmar and saying " its so sad for my baby"
 

Later when filling my husband in, I teared up again. There are some days that just break your heart more than others. It's not just a cry of sadness. It's like a heavy thud of impact trough the heart- a feeling of burden and a deep cry to do something to help. A cry that motivates you to action.
Seeing human suffering hurts. Really hurts.
Many people have honestly admitted to us "I just couldn't do what you are doing. It would be so hard to see"
Yes. It is hard to see .But  it's not about us. It's about the ones who are in the middle of the pain. What are our difficulties and challenges compared to the ones they are living?
There is no comparison.

Helping others is not about feeling good. Visitors sometimes say "it must be so rewarding"

On many days- it's not rewarding at all.

However it is amidst the heartache- an honour.

An honour to have the chance to serve Jesus by loving who He loves. An honour to have a chance to alleviate suffering. An honour to be used by the grace of God as an instrument to touch and change a life for the better.

Ron was just saying to me that people who say "it must be so rewarding" often stay inside the "bubble" that Kalayaan Community Ministries has created. People have expressed the church and community center feel like a "bubble", A "safe house"- a place that people from the rubbish dump can come and "escape" for a while. When you step out of that bubble, you quickly realize that there are many many many people still suffering, still in need of help, in need of hope and in need of Jesus.

This blog is a little all over the place, but just felt I had to try to process and share some of the day. Because I am mostly at home with my babies now, I find seeing the pain of peoples lives more heart wrenching. After years, human suffering does not get easier to be around. I pray God will never let my heart become hard and that I never ever get  used to seeing it.
We should never get used to seeing injustice.
Never.

When we came back from house visits I went into our prayer room to back up my husband who was leading worship. My heart and spirit were re-filled loving Jesus with residents of the community, children and adults singing and lifting up their voices in prayer.
With whispers of love to, songs of thankfulness and tears crying for justice for their families and neighbors.
Two of the mothers who had just accompanied me  to  meet some needs were now lifting up their voices to God for they situations. With tears of compassion asking Jesus to bring hope, help and healing to the families we had reached out to that day.

After house visits the women came into the prayer room to intercede for those suffering in their community.

Maybe it seems like the country has forgotten the people here, but I know that I know God has not.

https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries

We need YOUR help.

(a blog I started sometime ago and got the chance to finish tonight)

Sometimes the amount of need in the communities we serve can only be summed up as overwhelming. On the way home today in the car we both had tears in our eyes. Every time we are there we are confronted with people who just need hope and practical help. It's as simple as that.

The residents living in the rubbish dump and cemetery are brave, strong and resilient in spite of the horrendous living conditions.. They just need support to better develop their community and provide for their families

To say "that's sad" or,"i wish we could do something" honestly doesn't cut it when you feel the heavy burden of people that are suffering more than most of us could imagine.

It pains my heart to the core when I hear individuals express how "bad" they think Tondo is. Educated  people who in fact are so uneducated allow lies to trip off their tounges without having ever been there. Recently I met a very misinformed Doctor who spoke out her stereotypes and fears and ended by saying;
"..never mind trying to help them. If you really want to do something they like just give them food. They like that!"
Her tone was sarcastic, full of judgment and lack of knowledge.
I wonder if she has ever experienced days of hunger?
I don't think so.

Oh how God loves this precious community with a burning unending love. 
He has called each one of us to DO something about the injustices caused through such extreme poverty.

True compassion moves us to action.

 

You don't have to look far to find need, in fact sometimes we feel we are falling over it... But God.....

Every family there has a story. In every family we have known we have found urgent needs.
 I will try to create a little bit of a picture of the kinds of situations our team are confronted with on daily basis.

 

- A mother bringing her children to the feeding programme because they hadn't eaten anything in days and the hunger pangs had become so unbearable they tried to fill the emptiness with mud and insects.

 

- Children who rattle our gate needing festering wounds cleaned because they are playing naked in trash where there is glass, sharp objects and syringes. Sometimes their mothers can't wash the clothes  because they are forced to make the decision that they will buy drinking water instead of water to wash their clothes in.

 

- A baby who just can not stop crying because he is just too hungry. The mother cant breast feed because she is undernourished and so has only been able to give rice water  to her son. He has no tears because he is dehydrated, just the sound of a weak cry.

 

-Parents asking for medicine because they cannot afford the transportation to the pharmacy or clinic and having to make the choice for their children to either stay sick or eat that day.

 

- Hard working fathers in need simply of rubber gloves because there hands are being cut to shreds as they clear the sewers to try and stop the stagnant, human waste filled water flooding their homes.

 

 

- A woman in need of money after giving birth because she is losing too much blood. She is  unable to afford to pay for the bags of blood to stop her bleeding to death.

These are just a few examples at random. There are thousands of situations like these.

 

Overwhelming.



Playing on our church roof in the middle of the rubbish dump. pic taken by KCM visitor Gerard Jean-Claude Clarey

 

 

The good news is, everyone I just wrote about can be helped and has been helped by Kalayaan Community Ministries. But we can only help as much as we are financially able to. We constantly have to pray for wisdom to priorities where the needs are most critical. 

The harsh reality is we cannot always meet the needs.
We are located in the middle of what statistics say is the largest and densely populated slum in the whole country.
The most recent stat puts the figure in Tondo at half a million people.

We cannot reach them all, but we do believe God puts certain individuals and families very obviously in our path. He is a caring Jesus who stopped for one blind man, one begger, one child.......

 Daily we are faced with people who need extra help and that's why we respond to each family on an individual basis. It's not a one solution fits all environment. If only it were that easy. We have to access the needs and then meet them. How can you turn people away who at times have no where else to go for help?

As they need our help. We need your help.

We do need you to be a voice and raise awareness for the children we love here.

We do need more people to commit to giving on a monthly basis so we can use it for the areas of most need.

We do need people to organize fundraisers throughout the year.

Above all we do need you to pray for this work, the team and communities.

The more partners we have the more people can be relieved of some of their burdens..  At times the needs are life or death. This is reality.

Thank you to everyone who already partners with us. Without exaggerating, you are helping save lives and spread good news in a place looked on as the outcast of the nation. We are so grateful for your financial support. We appreciate every person and group who gave in 2013. Thank you to those of you who organized fundraisers, took offerings, funders that have committed long term and people who have made a monthly financial commitment.
We are a small ministry with very little administration costs. We function completely through donations. There is no CEO getting a salary, no fancy office. All staff who are paid are from the dump site or cemetery community.
We know that God is the source for everything. We are continually amazed at how he provides to sustain and develop KCM through the kindness of people. Over the past 6 years He has provided in the most amazing ways- time and time and time again He is faithful. Never early. Never late.


If you feel you would like to know more about what Kalayaan Community Ministries are doing or  to commit to monthly financial giving in 2014, please contact us through kalayaancommunityministries@hotmail.com

KCM are committed to being good stewards of the funds entrusted to us and we have set up an online transparency page where everyone who donates is added and can view incoming funds and what the purpose of these funds are for.

Thank you so much to everyone that continues to partner with us in prayer, giving and volunteering (local and overseas). Real compassion moves hearts to DO something and there is so very much more to do here.

We are so grateful too to the friends who support us personally to do this work. Maybe someone reading this feels they are called somewhere as a missionary, but are worried about how they could possibly manage. If God has truly called you to be somewhere - he WILL provide for you. He will do it in the most unexpected ways in which you will have no doubt he has heard your voice in prayer!. He will test your trust and faith in Him and then do things that will just blow your mind and heart!

We often still wonder why we are doing this when we know there are people much more qualified, more experienced, more Christ like than us.
All I know is we still feel so out of our depth in our selves and I hope that means that anything good that comes of the ministry or us being here is because of God.

I thank God for the many faithful organizations that are working around Tondo and other slum areas in Manila.I thank God for the dedicated missionaries who have gone before us who we can learn from and I thank God for those He will call here after He decides our season is over.

Whatever country we are all in. Whatever work/ministry, we are there for a reason and God can use each one of us (weaknesses and all) to be a blessing to those he has planted us around.


You can catch up with updates through our FB page

https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries?ref=br_rs

 

 

Toddlers do not SEE POOR.

The other day our 2 year old Josiah suddenly asked;
"Mummy, where my friends Tondo?"

He was asking where his friends from Tondo were. As soon as it came out his mouth I got to thinking. He has no concept yet of poverty. No idea that some people live in wealth while other scavenge through trash to find food. He has no awareness whatsoever that Tondo is looked on as one of the most disadvantaged and impoverished areas in the country. He has no idea that many people fear the place and  label the community with stereotypes.

All he knows are His friends are there and he loves them. He gets so excited when we do weekly leadership and volunteer training from our home for members of the community. He watches from the window with excitement waiting to see them appear at our gate and shouts " yeh friends".
 When we take him to our church in Tondo he claps when we turn off at the main road and drive through the narrow pathway leading to where Kalayaan Community Ministries is based. He doesn't see the mounds of black bin bags piled high or the swarms of flies.  He has never reacted to the smell, the lack, the dirt and so on.. He does not feel sorry for anyone there. He has no idea there is much sadness there.When he peers through the window of our car he says "my friends Tondo". He has no awareness of the place yet- only the people. he knows when we get inside the church that his "mga Kuya at mga Ate" (big brothers and sisters) will come inside to play with him, sing, laugh and love him. He does not have a clue yet that the church that he sometimes gets to come to is actually situated in the middle of a rubbish dump.

I thought this was so beautiful and a reminder to me about how I look at people.

How different would our communities be if we only got to know people? What if we never knew their past, where they lived or gossip surrounding them?.Would we be less judgmental?  Would we treat them differently? How many times have we formed an opinion about someone because of what we have heard about them?

JESUS SAW PEOPLE.

So many times in the bible it says " When Jesus SAW..."
" when he saw him"
"when he saw her"
"when he saw them"

It's more than seeing with the physical eye. He stopped for people that others would walk past. He listened to their stories. Imagine God - who already knew everything about them and still listened to their stories! He saw their hearts. He saw them as they would be - what they could be.

I remember when we first set foot in Tondo, of course we saw the awfulness of the place, but it was the people that gripped our hearts and changed the course of our lives. There was one child walking towards us through the trash. Everything seemed grey- apart from her. She smiled and Ron described her as a "ray of sunlight".
I think if we had only seen the heartbreaking sights of the place we would not have returned. But we had the privilege of seeing the people- they are why we went back again and again. From seeing- to knowing - to loving them.

Obviously you have to tell and show people the poverty and the sadness so that they are moved with compassion to help. No matter how many smiley faces and joyful spirits there are , not one of them should be living in a place we heard once described as"the edge of hell". Our friend who said these words in a cry for justice has been in around 80 countries and been to many of the most impoverished areas. He says he has never been anywhere like the community in Tondo dump site area.

If only we had the eyes of Jesus for just a moment....to really see. I know we would be moved with compassion in a new way.
The little touches of compassion that so grips our hearts is more than wanting to help- it's a burning, passionate, heart cry and motivation to do all we can to make wrong things right for people who were created by the very fingers of God. A life mission to see justice where injustice cripples souls, bodies and minds through poverty. A determination to do the hard work and let God do the heart work.

My desire is that you would not forget the places we describe in hope that you feel a stirring up to pray and act, but more than the place, I desire that you know the people. I want you to hear their stories. I am not a writer by any means but I pray the rambling of my heart would describe their lives in a true and balanced way, honoring who they are and in some way, place in us all a burden to do something.
Whether in Manilas slums or in a well to do estate somewhere in the world, none of us have to look  very far to find hurting people or someone that needs help.

Oh that we could really see.

THE YEAR OF METAMORPHOSIS

"I beseech you therefor brethren , by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God"
Romans 12:1-2

Felt these verses being impressed upon my heart at the beginning of a new year.
A new year. A new beginning. The potential for God to plant new dreams in our hearts for us as individuals and the communities we serve. New visions for the future. New opportunities to worship. A new chance to watch Jesus transform my life and the lives of others.

I recently read that word "transformed" in the greek is" metamorphosis" I got blessed by this because the concept that Ron had for our ministry logo was a butterfly- the metamorphosis process. God wants to do this process in each one of us. He wants to renew our minds, change our thought patterns, transform our hearts and lives in the way only he can. Changing us from the inside out to bring beauty to the lives of the people we come into contact with.

Change must start in us. In me.
.
As we spend time with Jesus and get into the cocoon of the word of God our thought patterns and behaviors change. As we get soaked by His love, the love for others increases and we get a stirred up passion to make wrong things right and help the hurting. As we experience His total grace we can never be the same.

Jesus transforms lives. No mater the back ground. No matter the past. No matter what stereotypes society would tag a person with- the saving and transforming power of the cross can cause the old "us" to disappear and in that place be birthed into something NEW.

Jesus can destroy the POVERTY MINDSET. Lies such as
"I will only ever be a scavenger"
"I will always live amongst the tombs"
"It's impossible to graduate from college"
"I am just poor"
...and so on

This is beautiful Ate Nora.
When we met her she was what you would describe as painfully shy. Living amongst trash day in and day out the enemy had planted lies that she should remain unseen, unheard. As she lived daily on a rubbish dump her self worth had been crushed like the junk her feet walked over.
Ate Nora met Jesus and I can testify to the beautiful change of mindset and transformation of life. As she studied the word  of God  at the bible studies and her home she renounced the lies that poverty and the enemy had bound her in. Ate Nhoras recently told us how the Holy Spirit filled her with confidence and boldness.

Here she is being "MC" at the end of year celebration in church. Last year we (Kalayaan Community Ministries) gave her capital to help her in business. She had the confidence to start a cooked food stall. She buys, cooks and sell hot food and has been able to financially support her eldest daughter through college and the younger ones through high school. She stands up regularly in church to speak out the goodness of God and share his word.
Like a beautiful butterfly she has been transformed by Jesus and now bringing beauty to the lives of others. She is full of compassion and I have seen her give food from her store to others on the rubbish dump who cannot afford to pay her for it.

She is just once example of the hundreds how God makes things new. No matter the circumstances- the past, present or depth of poverty- Jesus can make brokenness into beauty.



youth camp 2013

At our recent youth camp the theme was "RECYCLED"
It's an awesome thing to see young people who were once gang members stand up and lift high the transforming power of Jesus Christ. Teenagers who have changed lives crying out to their piers not to remain slaves to the bondage of drugs.
Just one of the metamorphosis moments  was when a young teen who had become addicted to sniffing solvents, had recently sold all his personal belongings to join in with the vices of his "barkada" (gang) , his shaky hands asked for the microphone to pray. Among his stuttering and mixed up words he meaningfully  uttered the words
"I want change in my life"

"THEREFORE, IF ANYONE IS IN CHRIST, HE IS A NEW CREATION; OLD THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY; BEHOLD, ALL THINGS HAVE BECOME NEW." 2Corinth 5:17 

Oh lord, let change begin in our hearts and affect the lives of those you have placed around us. May it be a year of metamorphosis.

"Sing with me Mama"

"Sing with me Mama"

Josiahs sweet voice floated across the room to meet my heart. 

So much to do. I was tired and grouchy because our baby son had been up most of the night teething. I was missing family that week and for the first time in ages was feeling inexplicably "hmmmmph". I never really felt like singing.

Our toddler's scrambled, but melodic phrases of his favorite worship songs filled the room as he pretended to play his overused keyboard. He had arranged for himself a captivated audience of mini plastic people and animals. Even little Eli was joining in with a whistle his brother gave him. He banged it off the floor and chewed it once in a while. :)

"Come on Sing with me Mama"

So i did.

A very simple but true reminder to rise above how we may feel and sing anyway. Don't let your emotions, the world or the enemy's lies steal your song. Don't let any situation or any person rob God of the worship that He deserves.

There are lots of things in our day to day lives that are out of our control. But one thing we always have the choice to do is sing out or speak out the truth of who He is. The unwavering truth of who He is never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I'm thankful He is.