Burdened until sunrise.

Some days spent in Manilas slums reveal new levels of corruption, injustice and suffering. They leave the heart with a burden and travailing to keep labouring in the communities we are called to. But Oh how we need God to break through even more.

Part of our ministry is just walking around the dump site sitting with, listening and getting to know peoples stories. This is how we find desperate ones, brave ones, forgotten ones, strong ones. This is how we find who to respond to next. Every time I am aware that God directs our steps.
We often say we think we have seen it all and then we find another toxic layer of issues.

I truly believe God in His grace reveals them in His time because He knows when we are ready to bare them, even if we don't feel that way.

Yesterday I went out walking with 2 of the young women to visit families that were living in the flood areas. Black, filthy, stagnant water covered every crevice of ground in that particular part of the community. All of a sudden  I had a prompting from within to leave my team mates and walk through a dimly lit underpass. My purple rubber boots squelched through the stinking black fluid.
Everything was grey apart from the flashes of white  from the children's smiles, like little stars dotted around a black sky.

"Take a picture of me Ate Jo!"

My feet kept moving forward and then I noticed I was in a corner at a dead end. It's still near our center, but I  have never been in this cove before. I couldn't work out how I had never found this place even though we have been very near it. Suddenly someone touched my hair from the back. I turned to find a girl staring at me. Peering through the broken wooden frame on her shanty.

"Bota Bota." (Boots Boots)

We had been giving out tickets for adults living in the floods to come and get rubber boots. I noticed the young girls speech was slurred. She seemed to have additional support needs.

"What's your name" I asked in tagalog.

"Pheobe"

Pheobe

Then another head popped out from behind the door of their tiny make shift home. A beautiful smile and  then  a high pitch voice "I'm Beline" .
She too seemed to have additional support needs. They are sisters, 24 and 14.

"Picture tayo Ate!" (lets take a picture big sister)
 

Beline

I stood with the girls on their doorstep for a long time. It's a quiet little cove. Only one other neighbor who was 8 months pregnant on the ground hand washing clothes.  A little later, a cousin joined us who I know a  bit from our mothers group. She told me that Pheobe and Beline had never been to school and have stayed inside their house most of their lives.
Later I asked around our team and  residents in the same area to see if I could find out more. It was extremely disturbing to me that not one of the mothers, young people or children knew who they were or had ever seen them.

Ever.

"KCM. KCM" (the name of our ministry) Beline had been saying pointing to the  butterfly logo on my t shirt. The cousin told me they always asked to come along but no one would take them. Brenda and Clarissa, youth leaders gave them a florescent pink rubber boot ticket. They were SO excited and an hour later they were sitting in our hall. The father was also there, sitting quite a distance from his daughters. Ron shared the gospel with him. Pheobe and Beline were beside me, giving spontaneous hugs and asking peoples names. Beline kept talking about how big the bananas were in the province and that there are no bananas or money since they moved to Tondo. This seemed important to her and impressed on her memory.

If you are a believer and are reading this, I urge you to remember these girls in prayer. Im asking you to pray as we begin the first stage of building relationship with the parents and get to know more of the girls story. Im asking for prayer that the parents would have open hearts to allow us to provide opportunities for the sisters to be involved in programs and integrated into the community.

Within this culture people with additional needs are often hidden, in particular children. Not always, but very often. Lack of education, wrong so called religious teaching and lack of acceptance means parents are often ashamed. There is an obvious lack of respect and dignity to people who seem different. I find this frustrating and very difficult to understand. It's a huge issue.

Through the night God laid a heavy burden on my heart for these sisters and some of the others we visited that day;
- a mother beaten by her husband who thought it was okay
-a little boy who's baby sister had just died
-a family who was squandering money on gambling while their children were hungry
- a teenage boy who had dropped out of school because of struggles with his gender and was depressed
- an old widow who was riddled with TB who pushes a heavy trash cart just to get enough food

I was burdened in prayer until sunrise about these situations, but mostly about my new friends Pheobe and Beline. The previous night Ron was burdened throughout the night about the great horrors happening to Christians in Iraq at this time. What is a burden actually I was thinking?

I think a burden is when Gods emotions and Gods heart collide with us.

I think it's when we feel a tiny bit of what He feels. He impresses it on us so that we will intercede on their behalf and be compelled to do something about injustice.

"Burdened- required to yield to a vessel having right of way"

 "Burden- that which is carried or borne out of difficulty"

Labor- Uncomfortable and painful. Sometimes quick. Sometimes long, but with the fruit of a  beautiful new life.

Often our team and residents come to the house of prayer to pour out, travail in prayer and cry to God about all the injustices we are confronted with on a daily basis. Always His peace and beautiful presence breaks through ,strengthening our hearts. I love this room. There is both much suffering and joy here.We travail and intercede on behalf of the horrors we find in the community and we rejoice as God births new dreams  and responses in us.Through worship and loving Him we know that we know that He has it all control. Nothing comes as a surprise to Him.

Ate Nora travailing in prayer for the injustices in her community

He knows their story before he leads our feet through the mud to learn them and respond to them.


Being here is both uncomfortable and painful at times as well as being an honor. But we must keep pressing on. There is also much joy in being here. Jesus is still in the business of totally transforming  lives! And whether we see the rewards of our labor in this life or the next it is worth it.

I am learning in this place that we cannot have the joy without the suffering and the suffering without the joy. Like twins they must remain side by side for change to be birthed.

HE IS WORTH IT.

"And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night?" (luke 18:7)

I either believe it or i don't!

Don't know what was in the air, but I found my boys extra exhausting today!

My darling free spirited toddler seemed to be testing boundaries- a lot!
My sweet sunshine baby only wanted to physically cling to me all day!

Doing house chores and cooking are a lot more challenging with a very heavy bubba on your hip... and you only have one hand to do it all! As I inwardly complained about washing dishes and chopping sweet potatoes with one hand, I was reminded that one day, quite soon he will be too big to carry. These moment (however mad they are) will become a memory.

Finally 8pm (on the dot) came and Eli went down to sleep. I thought Josiah was also in the land of nod and so i lit a candle, got out my bible and journal to de-stress BUT then my handsome husband came and said "he only wants you darling"! Sheesh!

"I have nothing left to give" I moaned to my hubby from the top of the stairs. Sitting on top of Josiahs guitar covered bed spread I thought immediately. Wait a minute! That's not true! I do have more to give because I have a God whose grace is right now sufficient. More than enough and Christ and His Spirit are dwelling in me.

I either believe it or I don't!

I'm not really a worrier, but there are times (like today) I think- "God, You really need to  kind of step in about NOW!"

Some of the things our team at Kalayaan Community Ministries are currently doing in the dump site and cemetery community are;
- Feeding a minimum of 1520 hot meals per week to under nourished children.
-Sending wonderful young people from the slums through private colleges and universities
-Delivering food crisis parcels to more families than ever
-Empowering Mothers and Fathers to establish businesses so as they could support their own families
-Financing hospital fees and medicines for those in emergency situations
-Facilitating several children's, youth ministries and young leaders training days.
... and a load of other things, not including the boring stuff like paying electric and water bills at our community based centers.

"God, You kind of need to step in about NOW"
 
You know what? I believe He will.
You know why? Because we have seen Him do it countless times before.
You know how? Through the kindness of friends and partners who are moved with compassion and also in totally mind blowing miraculous ways.

His provision is enough and His timing is perfect.

I either believe it or I don't!

"Todays bread is enough bread
  Todays grace is enough grace
  Todays God is MORE THAN enough God" (A.Voskamp)

I either believe it or I don't.

I REALLY TOTALLY DO!

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. " (2 Corinthians12:9)

(One of my life verses)

SUFFICIENT- ENOUGH to meet the needs of a situation or a proposed end.



Worry replaced with worship yesterday- photo credit KCM partner Thomas Tham

Headache.

A headache of desperation to get to Jesus
A pounding inside to shut everything else, everyone else out and go to the secret place,
My time has been consumed today with many things, but not much with the One
- The One my soul needs.

By candlelight i sit now with nothing to distract- but The One
Where I'm born to be.
Here. Just here.
You should be priority-always
Without abiding I cannot be a good wife, mother, missionary or anything!

I need Your beauty to strip away the rottenness of my heart
Your love that flips my whole world upside down.

Thank you!
You always make yourself available for little me
With the most patient eyes I have ever known, You pierce though me to the core You created.

I need you Real.

Little i. Big You.

I'm NOT tired!

Another chance to finish a blog I started ages ago!

____________________________________________

 A cute, but VERY grumpy, particularly sensitive, over emotional and loud toddler.
This boy NEEDS a nap!

"But IM NOT TIRED. I don't like to nap. I don't want to rest. I DONT LIKE REST!."
(emphasis Josiahs!)

More crying, more shouting and within 10 minutes he was..... in a peaceful sleep!

Even my bubba Eli sometimes fights sleep when he's tired. What's that all about?!

Josiah reminded me how we sometimes are with our Abba Daddy in heaven. How silly that we sometimes  think we can get through even a day without resting and being refreshed in Him. How silly to think we have what it takes to get through all the challenges a day brings without abiding in Him.

In spite of my toddlers very confident protests and opposition about resting, I knew he really really did need to rest. His lack of nap time was THE cause of all the more intense outbursts, lack of self control and general crankiness.

If we don't get time with God and our minds renewed by His word  we can sometimes end up with very "un-Christian" outbursts!  For me if I don't make time with God first thing in the morning I'm done for!

Since becoming a mum I am so much more aware that I need God all through the day. I need to talk to Him, dipping in and out of conversation all through the day.  Inviting Him into everything, every part of my day.
I learned that as a parent "quite times" and the secret place are neither really as quiet or as secret! I went through a season of feeling really frustrated  when I couldn't get time to pray alone. Then one day I felt so released as the Spirit revealed something to me.

I had this impression that I should be taking the boys with me into the secret (now not so secret) place. I should just sit with Jesus- sing, talk, listen and read with the boys around. So a while back that's what I started to do and I found (to my surprise) that the boys somehow picked up on the atmosphere (for a little while at least) and I could abide without being pulled at too much! A few times Josiah has joined in singing what I'm singing or bringing his own picture bible to the kitchen table. I was so blessed!

God wants us to meet with Him in every season of our lives. He wants to be involved in it all. How special is that?!

When I was a teenager I sometimes would baby sit for my friend that had 7 children. Yes 7!  I remember her saying on a few occasions about doing  "mountain top prayers". If I'm not mistaken she was referring to how Jesus would go up a mountain and pray short prayers to the Father and then come back down and continue with ministering to people. As mums, we need  to be copying Jesus and having us  a lot of mountain top prayers! Through the crazy busyness that a day brings we can have conversations back and forth with the creator of the universe- our Daddy God.

Our mission fields are where we step (or are pulled) out of bed
- our homes
- our work
- our neighborhood
- or a foreign land

So we all have a mission field. But how distorted if we think we can prove faithful to them without being with Jesus.  Isn't it all so wrong if we are working for Him, even talking about Him but not actually talking to Him that much?

He's a God of relationship and he desires us to love Him and talk to Him. Amazing!

Josiah re- reminded me of one of my life verses. A passage I find myself continually coming back to again and again. I feel I can never read it too much;

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing" John 15:5

How mind blowing that Christ wants to abide in us and even wants us to abide in Him so that much fruit can be shown through us. Amazing!

I can do nothing  without Him!

An angel joined us for breakfast.

( A blog I scribbled a couple of months ago, but only got around to kind of editing)

My two boys eating cereal at the kitchen table and worship music streaming live from the International House Of Prayer in the background.

Josiah-"A rainbow Mummy!"

Me- "Where outside?" Then I focused my attention back to Eli who was rubbing his breakfast into his newly washed  hair.

(A moment or two later)

Josiah- "Mummy, a rainbow!"

Me- "Where? Did you see one out the window?"

This time I got up out my chair and looked out of the window. I haven't seen many rainbows in Manila.

Josiah -"NO Mummy, THERE" pointing to the far corner of the living room

Josiah- "The angel has a violin and singing 'Our God is Stronger'"

I almost chocked on my toast! Did my son just tell me he saw a rainbow, violin playing, singing angel?!!!

Yes, I guess he did!!

He then went back to eating his breakfast.

__________________________________________


A few weeks later we were having snack time and Josiah out of the blue said;

"I'm just watching the ballet dancer Mummy" transfixed on a vacant space in the center of the living room.

"He is doing like this with His wings. " ( makes imaginary wings with his two arms and spins around)

You might be thinking -  what a good imagination that child has or you may be thinking what a weird kid!

 I remember years ago my Pastor in Scotland said that he believed sometimes children saw things in the supernatural realm that we miss.I started to think about why this might be.

Josiah is not mature enough to deliberate about his description might be received. I'm sure he does not yet have the capacity to think " if I share this with  mum I might look like a fool!"

Children tell it like it is. They say what they see, ignorant about skepticism and without practice at being cynical.   The are trusting, have simple faith, tender hearts and humility.
They have not yet learned how to be egocentric. There's an innocence and purity .... well most of the time! :)

We as adults on the other hand may doubt, question much more, care about what others may think or say.
When did we lose that  care free abandonment not to be concerned about the judgment of others? When did we last take a risk by saying something true and crazy about loving Jesus?
What was the last thing we spoke that came from a truly humble heart?
Do we trust our heavenly Father with our whole hearts enough to simply have faith in His promises no matter what our circumstances say?


Did my little boy see two angels?
Maybe not- but maybe!

I have no problem believing he did.


God used my son to give me a reminder lesson about being childlike. I mean Jesus must have been trying to tell us something when he was asked who was the  greatest in the kingdom of heaven-



"At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them,   and said,
“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.   Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven"

(Matthew 18: 1-4)

I wonder how many things we miss out on because our hearts are not always in that place of becoming like a little child? How many blessings   have we not received because we do not humble ourselves as we should?

So grateful for God using these two wee men to teach me continually!

The mission field is MESSY

 "Holistic Ministry"

What does it really mean?

I would offer that an on the ground definition would be;

"MESSY!"

Holistic ministry is to get invited into every area of someone's life. The good, the bad and the messy!

Mission is Messy!

The issues that families with very limited means have can be complicated, heartbreaking, confusing and untidy.

Loving people without expecting anything in return is messy and we are called as the church to jump into that mess.

We must.

We are called to keep loving and keep helping when people do not appreciate it.

We are called to keep  caring for those that hurt our hearts and throw it all back at us intentionally or unintentionally.

We are called to keep blessing those who might try to use us. After you have given your time, your help, your resources they may disappoint.

Many may come back to say thank you. Some may not. It really doesn't matter. We often tell the people "salamat sa Dios lang po"  ( just say thanks to God please)

In mission, in Christian charities we should always be pointing people to God, not our organizations or ourselves. We are commissioned to build for the Kingdom- not build a name for our selves. We should be making people dependent on God and empowering them to do what they can.

We are called to jump into their mess to walk along side them- no strings attached.


In the Mess there are MOMENTS

Moment we get to see the most personal parts of lives- new babies, weddings. Often people  become part of your family.

Moments we get the privilege to help save lives sometimes.

Moments we watch Jesus completely turn a life around, change from the inside out.

Moments we see God move, God heal, God fill up and light up.

Moments we get to play a  part of whole families being transformed.


MESS and MOMENTS

Through the hard times and through the amazing times we must continue to;

Love God. Love people
.
Make wrong things right.

Be a voice for those who have none.

Empower. Give Dignity. Bring Hope.  

One of the passages we have got for the slums and one we cling on to and speak out.

 

Isaiah 61:

 (3)

 

"To give them beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness,

That they may be called trees of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

 

(4)

 

And they shall rebuild the old ruins,

They shall raise up former desolations,

And they shall repair the ruined cities,

The desolations of many generations

 

(7)

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor

Instead of confusion you shall rejoice

 

(8)

For I , the Lord love justice.....I will direct their work in truth"

 

a brave little girl dancing her way over trash after kids church

 

 

Typhoon season here again.

There's a bad typhoon today. The electric went off in the middle of the night and hasn't come back on yet.
The battering of the storm and crashing flying things woke the boys at 4.30am and that was them up!
(yawn)
The street and subdivision flooded deep so we were stranded. Not much food in the house so hero hubby braved the storm to go buy tinned goods. Never been so thankful to see him turn up at the door with canned tuna! hehe He had to move a part of a tree off the road to get to the store. Took him about 2 hours just to go to the local shop and back. People panic buying he said.

I was feeling  grumpy since we had all been awake since 4.30am. I lost my joy for a bit! Boys eventually napped even though it was really stuffy with no electric fans. I discovered that it takes one hour to boil a pan of water with 2 candles. Drank coffee. Got my bible out and felt much better!

As soon as there is any kind of storm our hearts turn to the communities we work in. They are resourceful and resilient and certainly do not need us to rescue them. But the reality is also that the men and women who depend on recycling cannot work during a typhoon and this means their families do not eat that day.

My heart full of thanks to God that the majority of our team are made up from residents in the community. This means that even when calamity strikes they are able to continue meeting needs. Today the feeding team continued provide food for the mothers and babies and tomorrow they will run extra feeding for anyone who needs it.

the mother volunteers know the need and continue to meet them even during floods

KCM youth Pastor Elmo decided he still wanted to try to get to Tondo to mentor the youth even though much of the public transport was down. Our church has had no electric so they sat out in in the wet street by candlelight.

Youth Pastos "feet bringing good news" :)
 

Our main centers roof got a good bashing and quite damaged. Without being asked local residents from the dump site area climbed up to repair it

youth mentoring and young men that helped fix our roof

The feeding women, the youth Pastor and the local men were displaying the very verses I was reading this afternoon;

"... among whom you SHINE AS LIGHTS in the world" (Philippians 2:15





"Let your LIGHT so SHINE before men" ( Matthew 5:16)

Today we were dependent very much on candles. I appreciated them so much more than I normally would. Even the little flickers they were giving made a big difference. I could see where in the house my babies were running around before sunrise! They gave perspective. They made the darkness bearable.

WE the church are to BE THE LIGHT in this  world. WE are to make the lives of people who are sad, sick, lonely, struggling or in total darkness a bit brighter. We are to be that warm light that makes it a little easier to cope. We are to be the flicker that ultimately points them to THE LIGHT of the WORLD- JESUS.

Over the next few days we will know the housing damages in the communities. Thank you to those who have been communicating via text and fb to ask how everyone is. We appreciate it.

https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries

See-through prayers

When our main focus is not Jesus, everything else slips out of balance.

When our minds and hands are consumed with busyness we miss being still for the still small voice.

Oh how we need His still small voice as much as we need His words that roar like a lion to awaken our hearts.

Our hearts need ignited with passion for Jesus.

Fuelled by Him, for Him.
Shaken up and trembling to want more and know more of what He has for us.

Stir up those gifts.

What are your gifts?

Are they dormant, disillusioned or desperate to glorify the One who gave them?
Who gave them for His own pleasure and for others.

Jesus, refresh us. Wake us. Melt the stone. Soften the clay
-to be molded in your love

Less of us.
More of You.

Love for you.
Love for others
radical,
raw
and real.

With see-through prayers i say I don't have what it takes to make a difference
You God are what will make the difference though me.
.
Our legacy's matter

I  long to leave a good one
to my husband, children and the forgotten ones you have called me too.

I'm not interested in building a ministry. Don't care about numbers.

I want to be found faithful


I want to be found faithful
to You ,to the ones you gave us to care about.

They matter.

Family SO matters.

Justice matters.

And when we lose our way and do things backwards- loving them instead of loving you first
QUICKLY turn us around, incline our senses to your guiding Spirit to turn things the right way.

LOVING YOU. LOVING PEOPLE
.
Concerned with you, obsessed with you. In love with you.

You matter more.

And on the days when things just don't work, may I stir up my own heart song to praise you.
Love you., thank you and remember
Remember you are still all and in all.

Come on soul wake up! Be stirred up!

Seek the ONE that matters
Matters more than anyone, more than anything.

To Jesus. For Jesus.
You see us- and you are good
You know us- and you are kind
You hear us- and you are close

You see- through us that you will be seen through us

Learning about Leading.

Sometimes people think living in another country is an adventure. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't.

Sometimes people think being in full time on a mission field is rewarding.
Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't.

If you are called to serve a community of people long term there will be times of much fruit and encouragement and also times of challenge and discouragement.

Our motivation can never only be people. It must be Christ.

In my husband I see a servant leader. Continually helping people behind the scenes as well as leading from the front.

In my husband I see a leader who stands up for injustice and will not let unfairness have any place.

In my husband I see a leader who speaks the truth in love. If someone in our care has done something wrong, he will tell them in a way that will rebuke but encourage them to go on, go on and be better.

In my husband I see a man who will stand up to encourage others during times when his own heart is discouraged. In fact I have seen him stand up and speak words of encouragement to the very ones who have done things to discourage him.

In my husband I see a man who goes on and serves not because people are watching.. Not because hundreds come back and say thank you. Some do. Some don't. But it's not about that. He leads and serves and serves and leads because in this season he believes this is what he is meant to do.

He has many gifts. He wont take them forward unless God clearly open the door. He wont push himself to a place so that people will hear him.

A patient man. A kind man. A gifted man. A genuinely humble man. A giving and generous man.

He would give away anything and everything. He holds no material thing tightly.

I've seen him give away things of great worth and I've seen him come home soaking wet without a t shirt having given it away to some one that was colder than he was.

A perfect man. No.

A great man. Yes.

I am so thankful he is my husband.

I am thankful I am learning about leading by watching him do it. 

I know the ONE who is leading you.
I know who holds your hand
I see Jesus in your walk and the ones you stop for
You stop for hopeless ones others walk past. You stop and you do something.

I know the One who is leading you
I hear Him in your songs
It's heavens words sang through you
Music that make  forgotten hearts know they have Someone to belong to.

I know the one who is leading you
I see Him in the way you lead us
With patience, giving, forgiveness and strength
He's part of you. You're part of Him. Both part of us.

So keep going. Keep leading. He'll carry you when you can't. He'll awaken the next song you should pen that will encourage your heart to still lead, still serve. Still serve. Still lead.

Josiah and our hero- Daddy.

My responsiblity.

"Please God. Don't show me anymore new needs today" was the whisper of my heart this week.

I know that sounds so selfish and silly.
What I meant was that we (the team) are dealing with so many needs already and it seems that every time we set foot on the dump site we are presented with more critical needs.

Urgent needs. Desperate needs.

 I don't mean that people come and ask us for  anything. I mean individuals and families are really suffering and the needs are just desperate at times and right in front of our faces. No sooner had I uttered that sentence in my heart than I heard and felt the following words like a loud, booming compress in my spirit;

"If we the church don't respond to the needs then who will?

If you don't respond who will?

IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY"

The fact is it is our responsibility as the church, the body of Christ, the hands and feet of Jesus, a fellow human being to do something to help people who are hurting.

Yes it will hurt to see such suffering.

Yes some nights you wont sleep because you feel the burden of their situation weigh heavy on you.

They will be on your heart. On your mind.

You will think and pray and wonder about the most helpful and sustainable way to respond.
In some cases there is NO other option but to respond straight away.
Budgets will be adjusted and priorities re-arranged again. You will constantly reassess the most pressing needs. It's not renovations or making the place look nicer. It's not repairing the vehicles . It's no longer a field trip or purchasing another instrument- it's helping someone to survive- to make it.

We need to ask God to let us see our communities as He sees them.
He doesn't see them as a mass numerical blur.
He sees individuals.
He sees them and He cares. He sees them and responds.

The hungry are our responsibility
The hurting are our responsibility
The widow, the orphan , the sick, the lonely are OUR responsibility.

But there is too much need and would never know where to start right? We could never help everyone right?

Start with those around you. Start with those whose stories you hear. God will clearly lead you to that someone... and the next.... and the next.
Ron and I find that God clearly puts the next person or the next family in front of us to help and we just KNOW.

Response doesn't have to mean money, though it can. The greatest response to need is LOVE. Loving those who don't have anyone else. Response is our TIME. Response is LISTENING. Response is using our RESOURCES to make things a little easier for them.

A real response in genuine love and care is sacrifice and according to what Jesus demonstrated through his life that is what true love  should be- sacrifice.

Sigh, how often does our (my) selfishness get in the way. I, me, my can run out our (my) mouth so easily can't they? Our feelings. Our needs. Our expectations.

Loving the hurting stranger, loving those in our community, loving our children, loving our spouses should be a sacrifice and with that sacrifice would come joy because  it is better to give away than get. An upside down, radical principle, but a biblical truth nonetheless.

I am learning that loving is not always doing something immediately, but can be just being there. In many ways it's so much easier to go into a slum community and DO something. DO a program. DO a ministry. DO a "thing" (and they "things" whatever they are can be of great value) But for me personally doing the things are easier than just sitting beside someone who is the embodiment of human suffering and doing nothing but listening with everything in that moment. To really listen to the stories, to their lives and hurts is one of the most difficult things and yet this is where relationship and often friendships are built.

The day I said "please don't show me any more needs today"

He did show me more.

Raquel.



Raquel in her home talking to Ron about her situation



Raquel in the KCM "Mama and Me" playgroup

Raquel has been coming to the mother and babies group for a couple of months. Initially she always sat alone because she comes from a different area of the dump site than the majority come from. It's only in the past couple of weeks that we have learned more about her situation. She has never asked for anything. She has never spoke about her troubles unless asked.

I noticed the fist time she and her 2 children joined the group at the way her face would light up when her youngest baby girl smiled. Her 7 month old honestly has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. She is such a happy baby. Small for her age, but really obviously happy.

Raquel is often the first mother to come through the gates and just always starts to play with her kids. One day a couple of weeks ago she began opening up about her situation after I asked about her husband.

"He left us 7 weeks ago. He took my middle son with him"

For 7 weeks 22 year old Raquel has had no income as her husband was the one to earn through recycling.. For 7 weeks she has been grieving and missing her 3 year old second born son.

Her Father left when she was a little girl and her mother is dead. She doesn't have anyone to support her, apart from neighbors who "sometimes give rice when they have it". 
She has been doing her very best and has been determined to try and feed her children something each day sometimes by peeling garlic to make a few pesos and sometimes selling pag-pag (waste food that is recycled)
Other women in the community told me they see her picking food from the trash, sometimes to feed her children and sometimes to sell. Can we even begin to imagine what we would do if there was no other option for food to fill the ache in our children's stomachs?

Her home is situated in one of the worst parts of the area. You have to step though so mush sludge, water and trash to reach it. Her home is 2x5 foot long. No electricity. It is a tiny shanty with holes in the roof and chicken wire and old boards for walls. She has wood on the ground where she and the children sleep. There are pieces of tarpaulin covering it which is kept spotlessly clean for the babies to lie on.

What struck me about Raquel the first time I observed her in the mothers group and every week after was how gentle she was with her children and the way her face glowed with a big beautiful smile every time her children would smile.

Ron and I spent a long time with Raquel one day this week in her home and I just cannot get her out of my heart. We both felt that  her children were the only reason she has kept going. Kept surviving. Kept trying to provide somehow.

Would you pray for Raquel please?

Her youngest child is now on our daily feeding program where she is fed twice a day. I was encouraged to hear from the lips of the women from the  other side of the dump site that they have began getting to know her and talking to her.
She is being given weekly groceries and rice delivered by our feeding team. We will do a house repair soon to help keep the rain out and  a micro enterprise business which she can operate from home so that she could earn money without having to leave her children.
More than all this though, we would like you to pray that through her getting to know other mums at the group and those in our team she would no longer feel so alone. We want her to know she is cared about, thought about and loved. What a brave and loving mother to have kept going.

"it's because I have strength inside" she told us.

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble.." James 1:27

Oh that I could have a heart to never want to miss a chance to do this. Oh for eyes that could see past myself and see people like Jesus would.


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