Today was our first full day back at the dump site since returning from Scotland. The purpose of this quick blog is not really to give an update, but so I won't forget the feelings of today.As we we began walking toward the community I turned to Ron and asked him how he felt.
"It's not fair"
A strange or simplistic reply you might think. You see- Its NOT fair.
THE INJUSTICE OF POVERTY IS NOT FAIR.
ITS NOT RIGHT.
As we walked today and as I write now I feel a fiery stirring up inside my heart.I believe God put it there. It's kind of an anger- stirred to ACT-stirred to DO something kid of anger. Motivated by seeing such squaller. Compelled by knowing such special people who live in such squaller. Knowing that this is not God's plan for them.
As we spent time with some of the families we love and are privileged to help I had the following words repeating in my mind;
For every family we help there are hundreds we have not yet reached. For every familiar face that came to say thank you, there are faces who look across the mire of the place as if to say- you haven't done anything for me yet.
It's nice to say- its about that one- one person - one family- one at a time. That is true, but when you bend knee to knee on the dirt with another starving child or put your arms round a mother who just cant bear the load of so many problems, the thought that you may have helped someone else does not make one bit of difference. I think God allows us to feel this pain because it's a needy reminder of how useless we are without him. So useless without Him.
Today I met a little boy I have never seen before. His name is Vince and I guessed he is about 1. I haven't taken a picture because his tiny frame was naked. He was covered in bites and wounds with that all too common expression of hunger and neglect. The whole time I was holding him all I could think of was our healthy so loved baby boys.
I couldn't wait to squeezy hug them and thank God that they were not living like Vince.
Vince is just another one of many I had never met before. Another one who needs love.Another one who needs hope. Another one who needs pratical help. Another one who needs the caring Jesus to take him from the dunghill, lift him from the ashes and create a beautiful hope and future.
We just want to say thank you to each person who continues to partner with us and the team to sustain the work here. Only God knows what the future holds for this community-Relocation for the people or not. All we know is we are meant to be here for now. Not because we are the best qualified.Not because we have a fancy organisation.Not because we are the most spiritual or any other grand reason- but because Jesus loves these people and given us a heart to love them. So desperate to see many more lives changed on earth and into eternity.
June 21, 2013
May 29, 2013
The time I had Dengue Fever
I remember visiting a particular ward in a Filipino hospital and asking what everyone was there for. The people all looked so weak, hooked up to drips and seemed disorientated. The nurse said they had Dengue fever. That was the first time I heard of it.
The second time was when a mother at the dump site brought her 6 year old son to church. She said he had a fever. 3 days later he was dead. He had dengue fever.
Dengue ,also known as "break bone fever" is transmitted from several species of mosquitoes. Some make the comparison to Malaria. During rainy season (June-August) in the Philippines the number of cases increase. The community at the dump site where we are based are at high risk because they are surrounded by stagnant water so much and that's where the mosquitoes breed.
One day after working with the children at the dump site I felt a bit "off". The children are so sweet and like to share and now and again even share their sicknesses with us! But this felt a bit different to me. I had a painful sensation behind my eyes. My muscles and joints were aching and it felt like I was getting the flu. I thought like other things we have picked up there it would clear up on its own.Then I developed a weird looking rash. Kind of like a measles rash that didn't really disappear when you pressed it. I felt rough! I could not stop vomiting and felt weak. My gums began to bleed.
Off to the hospital we went. Yep- it was dengue!
Ron told me afterwards he was really scared.
After paperwork the doctor put me on intravenous re hydration. They said I was dehydrated and my blood platelet count was dangerously low. If it did not improve I was to get a blood transfusion. Lots of people were praying and I think my poor mama was worried sick at the other side of the world. Long story short, I began to improve and was let out of hospital within a week. I felt really useless for a good few weeks after. I just had no energy. But all was well and that was the end of that. My immune system was able to fight it, but many of the children on the dump site are already weak and undernourished. Their story does not always end like mine....
Every year since we started working in that community we have seen children die from Dengue.
Most parents cant even afford the transport to a hospital never mind the doctors fee.
Imagine you have one child sick, but if you sacrifice a day of work picking trash at the dump site, the rest of your children wont eat that night. What a choice eh?
One year we received the shocking news that 20 children living near the waterside had died from dengue.
20 children.
There is no vaccine against dengue so it's all about prevention. One way we can help is by providing mosquito nets for families.
It costs £1.50 for a single net and £4 for a family sized net.
Many of the families on the dump site earn between 70p- £2 for a whole days work.
In the UK a will pay £1.50 for a can of coca cola
This year we are hoping to provide at least 500 families with a mosquito net. Can you help?
For more info on this please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries
Thank you.
The second time was when a mother at the dump site brought her 6 year old son to church. She said he had a fever. 3 days later he was dead. He had dengue fever.
Dengue ,also known as "break bone fever" is transmitted from several species of mosquitoes. Some make the comparison to Malaria. During rainy season (June-August) in the Philippines the number of cases increase. The community at the dump site where we are based are at high risk because they are surrounded by stagnant water so much and that's where the mosquitoes breed.
One day after working with the children at the dump site I felt a bit "off". The children are so sweet and like to share and now and again even share their sicknesses with us! But this felt a bit different to me. I had a painful sensation behind my eyes. My muscles and joints were aching and it felt like I was getting the flu. I thought like other things we have picked up there it would clear up on its own.Then I developed a weird looking rash. Kind of like a measles rash that didn't really disappear when you pressed it. I felt rough! I could not stop vomiting and felt weak. My gums began to bleed.
Off to the hospital we went. Yep- it was dengue!
Ron told me afterwards he was really scared.
After paperwork the doctor put me on intravenous re hydration. They said I was dehydrated and my blood platelet count was dangerously low. If it did not improve I was to get a blood transfusion. Lots of people were praying and I think my poor mama was worried sick at the other side of the world. Long story short, I began to improve and was let out of hospital within a week. I felt really useless for a good few weeks after. I just had no energy. But all was well and that was the end of that. My immune system was able to fight it, but many of the children on the dump site are already weak and undernourished. Their story does not always end like mine....
Every year since we started working in that community we have seen children die from Dengue.
Most parents cant even afford the transport to a hospital never mind the doctors fee.
Imagine you have one child sick, but if you sacrifice a day of work picking trash at the dump site, the rest of your children wont eat that night. What a choice eh?
One year we received the shocking news that 20 children living near the waterside had died from dengue.
20 children.
There is no vaccine against dengue so it's all about prevention. One way we can help is by providing mosquito nets for families.
It costs £1.50 for a single net and £4 for a family sized net.
Many of the families on the dump site earn between 70p- £2 for a whole days work.
In the UK a will pay £1.50 for a can of coca cola
This year we are hoping to provide at least 500 families with a mosquito net. Can you help?
For more info on this please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/KalayaanMinistries
Thank you.
May 27, 2013
There's a language called "Christianese"!
2 more weeks and we will be leaving Scotland to move back to the Philippines. I think I have forgotten most of my Filipino- Tagalog! There has been no need to speak it so I have got out the practice of using it and therefor I think I have lost a lot of the words!
When something isn't in use or you fall out the habit-it's easier to forget and therefore lose it for a while. I was thinking how we can lose the passion of thankfulness. That overwhelming boiling up where I just have to thank Jesus with all of my being for what He has saved me from.
Sure, I can sing that I'm thankful to Jesus, read about it or even nod my head in agreement when a Pastor speak about it, but I was feeling like I had lost the awe and wonder of it the other day. So I started thinking about what I have really been saved from.
I have been saved from hell. A word we don't hear much these days expect from as an expression of annoyance. You don't even hear it mentioned in some many churches these days. I have been saved from eternal pain and continual agony. I have been saved from having to listen to constant wailing and saved from so much more. Because of Jesus I have a future in heaven. I can have an abundant life on earth because He saved me. I never deserved to be saved. I don't deserve it. There's no special reason I am saved apart from the free and unmerited favor of God. GRACE.
Selah.
Pause and think about that a minute.
Speechless.
If I could recall everyday in a living way what I have been saved from I would have more love for the One who saved me.
There's a language I don't want to speak and it's called "Christianese"
-A communicable language within the Christian subculture with words and phrases created, redefined, and / or patened that applies only to the Christian sphere of influence.
I suppose you could sum it up as a dialect amongst Christians. It's derived from well know Christian sayings that were founded in truth but that if not careful can at times become empty words. Sometimes this language can creep up in your tongue without knowing it. I don't want to speak it. But I do want to speak real, living words about the goodness of God. I want to always sing from my heart and not just my mouth.
Imagine Jesus, the son of God chose to go through horrific pain and endured many a sad heart for me?
For me?
A girl who sometimes forgets to thank him!
For me?
A girl who does not always make him priority!
For me?
A girl who sins and makes thousands of mistakes!
YES! IT WAS FOR ME!!!
Imagine God would give his very son for us? It's easy to let the words trip off our mouths but really....
I have 2 sons. 2 amazing boys. When they were born I discovered a part in my heart that I never knew was there. It was a new kind of love. An overwhelming, passionate, ready to protect kind of love. If you are a parent reading this you know. We hate seeing our babies ( young or old) get hurt in any way. I cannot stand it when my sons have to feel even the slightest discomfort or pain- a "skint knee", a cold, a bump, an upset tummy, a bruise. Mummy and Daddy's just want to make things better.
How did God feel when He watched his only son get battered? His skin burst and bruised. Bumps and knocks to his beautiful head. Stripped naked to feel the cold and the icy stares of a crowd hated him.
Hated him for what?
All He ever done was good.
How could Mary's heart take it? It must have been broken to pieces. A mothers heart torn in grief. I wonder if she cried in agony as she watched her son go through torture. Yes, she knew He would rise again and that this was destiny, but I wonder how she felt as a mother. I wonder if as Jesus hung on the cross did she have flashbacks to him as a baby. Once perfectly smooth skin, now torn open with wounds and cuts. Precious blood dripping from his body.
"Thank you" doesn't really seem to cut it does it? No wonder Jesus asks for us to love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength. Our whole lives. Doesn't he deserve that?
He deserved so much more and we will never repay Him but we can still try.....
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life"
When something isn't in use or you fall out the habit-it's easier to forget and therefore lose it for a while. I was thinking how we can lose the passion of thankfulness. That overwhelming boiling up where I just have to thank Jesus with all of my being for what He has saved me from.
Sure, I can sing that I'm thankful to Jesus, read about it or even nod my head in agreement when a Pastor speak about it, but I was feeling like I had lost the awe and wonder of it the other day. So I started thinking about what I have really been saved from.
I have been saved from hell. A word we don't hear much these days expect from as an expression of annoyance. You don't even hear it mentioned in some many churches these days. I have been saved from eternal pain and continual agony. I have been saved from having to listen to constant wailing and saved from so much more. Because of Jesus I have a future in heaven. I can have an abundant life on earth because He saved me. I never deserved to be saved. I don't deserve it. There's no special reason I am saved apart from the free and unmerited favor of God. GRACE.
Selah.
Pause and think about that a minute.
Speechless.
If I could recall everyday in a living way what I have been saved from I would have more love for the One who saved me.
There's a language I don't want to speak and it's called "Christianese"
-A communicable language within the Christian subculture with words and phrases created, redefined, and / or patened that applies only to the Christian sphere of influence.
I suppose you could sum it up as a dialect amongst Christians. It's derived from well know Christian sayings that were founded in truth but that if not careful can at times become empty words. Sometimes this language can creep up in your tongue without knowing it. I don't want to speak it. But I do want to speak real, living words about the goodness of God. I want to always sing from my heart and not just my mouth.
Imagine Jesus, the son of God chose to go through horrific pain and endured many a sad heart for me?
For me?
A girl who sometimes forgets to thank him!
For me?
A girl who does not always make him priority!
For me?
A girl who sins and makes thousands of mistakes!
YES! IT WAS FOR ME!!!
Imagine God would give his very son for us? It's easy to let the words trip off our mouths but really....
I have 2 sons. 2 amazing boys. When they were born I discovered a part in my heart that I never knew was there. It was a new kind of love. An overwhelming, passionate, ready to protect kind of love. If you are a parent reading this you know. We hate seeing our babies ( young or old) get hurt in any way. I cannot stand it when my sons have to feel even the slightest discomfort or pain- a "skint knee", a cold, a bump, an upset tummy, a bruise. Mummy and Daddy's just want to make things better.
How did God feel when He watched his only son get battered? His skin burst and bruised. Bumps and knocks to his beautiful head. Stripped naked to feel the cold and the icy stares of a crowd hated him.
Hated him for what?
All He ever done was good.
How could Mary's heart take it? It must have been broken to pieces. A mothers heart torn in grief. I wonder if she cried in agony as she watched her son go through torture. Yes, she knew He would rise again and that this was destiny, but I wonder how she felt as a mother. I wonder if as Jesus hung on the cross did she have flashbacks to him as a baby. Once perfectly smooth skin, now torn open with wounds and cuts. Precious blood dripping from his body.
"Thank you" doesn't really seem to cut it does it? No wonder Jesus asks for us to love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength. Our whole lives. Doesn't he deserve that?
He deserved so much more and we will never repay Him but we can still try.....
April 16, 2013
Dont worry: Put a box on your head and bang a drum!
How strange to think that the last time I signed into blog land I was a Mama of one and now I am a Mama to two amazing sons! Overwhelmed that God would entrust us with such beautiful gifts. Truly our children are kisses from heaven.
Isn't it crazy how we could miss the gifts of today by worrying about problems that may or may not happen in the future?! The other day I began thinking about our return to Manila and the fact that we have to find somewhere new to live when we get there. Travelling all that way with 2 babies and then arriving and having no house to go to could be a bit hectic! As a mummy I'm just desperate to get our boys settled and into some kind of routine when we get back to the Philippines, but this is easier said than done without an actual home to go to. I haven't been upset thinking about it because I know God has always looked after us and He will continue to do so, but the situation was on my mind more than it probably should have been. As I was thinking about it, I looked across the living room and found our bare foot toddler with a box on his head and playing his own makeshift drum. There he was without a care in the world singing his wee heart out and banging a basin with wooden spoons!
What a reminder to enjoy the moment- count the blessings of today and not worry about the future!
A couple of weeks ago a friend who moved away from the Philippines to the Middle East posted the following on her face book page;
"HOME IS WHERE MY FAMILY IS"
Today I have thought about this over and over and find myself nodding in complete agreement. Home is where my husband and boys are. It really is and I'm so thankful that wherever we are on the globe- I am at home.
I am one very blessed woman! Thank you Jesus!
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things..." Matthew 25:24
 |
| Brothers Josiah and Eli |
What a reminder to enjoy the moment- count the blessings of today and not worry about the future!
A couple of weeks ago a friend who moved away from the Philippines to the Middle East posted the following on her face book page;
"HOME IS WHERE MY FAMILY IS"
Today I have thought about this over and over and find myself nodding in complete agreement. Home is where my husband and boys are. It really is and I'm so thankful that wherever we are on the globe- I am at home.
I am one very blessed woman! Thank you Jesus!
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things..." Matthew 25:24
March 31, 2013
There are some things we just can't control.
As my laptop struggles to balance on my pregnant belly I am reminded I am 8 days overdue.If I had a pound for every time someone has said "oh , you are still here" or " you must be fed up waiting" I would have collected a substantial sum this week! It's funny though, because although I am so ready to meet our baby and excited, I have been feeling really content about just having these last few days with Josiah. He hasn't been feeling well all week and in a way I am glad I haven't had the baby yet as it means our son has had our full attention while he's been unsettled.I know that at some point baby Domingo number 2 will come when it is the right time! I mean, he can't stay in there forever!
"To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
 |
| taken by my hubby |
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die"Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
I have been thinking about this verse all week and it spoke to me about how in a world where we try and control so much there are just some things that we have no control over. There are some things that we just can't plan. In a society where we are obsessed with order, preparation and aiming to have things done within our schedule, I find it quite freeing to be confronted with the fact that there are still things in my life I have no power at all over- like giving birth. I know that God has an appointed time for our baby to be born and he won't come a moment before or after that time!
Earlier on in the week my sister and I were chatting about the passing away of our step-dad. She was with him when he took his final breaths and was saying what a horrible thing it was to watch him die but that it was also such a sacred moment.
Sacred I said- how so?
She explained how he breathed out and then in and then out..... and that was it. God has appointed that very breath to be his last. In that very last breath out God has chosen to call him home to heaven. God decided that time and no one could have changed it. My sister was right- it was sacred.
The bible says there is a season for everything. I have learned this week that instead of fretting on when something may happen- just to let it be- let HIM be- and enjoy the fact that there are some things we just can't control!
March 17, 2013
Salt or Vinegar?
Our lovely boy has definitely hit toddler hood! He's gone from being my wee baby to being this little guy who has his own personality and knows exactly what he wants. New challenges. New fun! I love it. It amazes me how much he is learning to understand the world around him. His speech has really come on since we arrived in Scotland and he tries to copy most words. We were doing grocery shopping the other day and I wasn't aware I was talking out loud. Browsing through the cereal isle Josiahs voice came from the grocery cart "oh that's cheap!" I must have spoken it and he was copying! It really made me giggle.
Then I got to thinking just how his mind is like a sponge and his tongue ready to imitate. I'm now so aware that he is watching and listening to me all the time. He is learning from me and the people around him. He is learning words, tone and expression. I suddenly felt very transparent before him and before God.
Imagine that I am responsible for being an example to this precious little man. Our children are watching us and learning- both good and bad. What an awesome responsibility to show an example worthy of the saviour we claim to live for eh?!
I thought about how that morning I was feeling so exhausted. I'm feeling really well with only a few days to go to the birth of our next baby, but just tired. I thought of what Josiah may have heard and seen? Did I use a tone of impatience to anyone? Have I been rolling my eyes? Could I have chosen my words more wisely in a situation?
That evening I was praying about the use of our speech and how we each have a choice to use our words, tone, expression to build up our homes or create a negative atmosphere. This verse really challenged me;
"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." Collosians 4:16
I was thinking how sometimes our ways of communication can be more like vinegar than salt! A moan over something not worth moaning about- an impatient sigh at being kept waiting- an under the breath mutter in response to something that makes us mad. I read somewhere that salt refers to value as apparently the Romans used to give their soldiers an allowance of salt. Do the words we speak always carry value? Salt adds flavour. Do our words?
I'm thankful for the reminders from the Holy Spirit that convict and remind that we have a choice to use our words to bless or to curse- to build up or pull down.What a challenging verse though eh? Let our speech always be with grace!! Do I always speak to people the way I would want Josiah to speak to me? I know I still have a long way to go! How about you?
Then I got to thinking just how his mind is like a sponge and his tongue ready to imitate. I'm now so aware that he is watching and listening to me all the time. He is learning from me and the people around him. He is learning words, tone and expression. I suddenly felt very transparent before him and before God.
Imagine that I am responsible for being an example to this precious little man. Our children are watching us and learning- both good and bad. What an awesome responsibility to show an example worthy of the saviour we claim to live for eh?!
I thought about how that morning I was feeling so exhausted. I'm feeling really well with only a few days to go to the birth of our next baby, but just tired. I thought of what Josiah may have heard and seen? Did I use a tone of impatience to anyone? Have I been rolling my eyes? Could I have chosen my words more wisely in a situation?
That evening I was praying about the use of our speech and how we each have a choice to use our words, tone, expression to build up our homes or create a negative atmosphere. This verse really challenged me;
"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." Collosians 4:16
I was thinking how sometimes our ways of communication can be more like vinegar than salt! A moan over something not worth moaning about- an impatient sigh at being kept waiting- an under the breath mutter in response to something that makes us mad. I read somewhere that salt refers to value as apparently the Romans used to give their soldiers an allowance of salt. Do the words we speak always carry value? Salt adds flavour. Do our words?
I'm thankful for the reminders from the Holy Spirit that convict and remind that we have a choice to use our words to bless or to curse- to build up or pull down.What a challenging verse though eh? Let our speech always be with grace!! Do I always speak to people the way I would want Josiah to speak to me? I know I still have a long way to go! How about you?
March 2, 2013
A smile that did not fade.
A while back I posted a blog about a young woman called Mary Chris.
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3693430664629924875#editor/target=post;postID=4672577958483815256
When we met her she was dying before our eyes. Through the help partners giving we were able to cover her medical costs and weekly needs. We watched as she battled through stages of weakness and gained strength. She was recovering well from Tuberculosis and malnutrition. She gained weight and energy. She went from having no force to utter a word to holding conversations and laughing. We knew God was answering prayer and we were believing for a total healing.
No matter what condition she was in when we went to visit- she always smiled. Sometimes her body was so skeletal and her tiny hands felt like they would crumble in mine, but her smile was alive and full of beauty. She was beautiful.
This week we learned from our team that Mary Chris died. I was shocked. I thought she was getting better? She was much stronger than before and the doctors were happy with her progress. We learned she was having flu symptoms and then for 3 days did not want to eat or drink anything. On the afternoon of the 4th day she died,leaving behind a young husband and 2 year old daughter. It just didn't make sense.
It turns out the Doctor at the public hospital had advised her that she no longer needed to continue her TB treatment. I am no expert, but I know with TB for recovery to be successful patients have to complete the 6 month treatment. The final diagnosis of her death was dehydration with the root cause of TB and meningitis.The doctors did not diagnose the meningitis until after her death. So very sad.
I felt so heavy hearted and disappointed. What else could we have done to prevent this?" What "if's" start whirling through the mind as you examine every "could we have?". We have seen many deaths on the dump site.Some are sudden, like a child being mangled by a dump truck.This is so unjust and it should never happen.Perhaps such deaths can be stopped in the long term by getting the children physically off the site.But at that moment when these tragedies happen we physically can't do anything about it. With a long term illness I always feel there must be something else we could have done. I know ultimately our times are in Gods hands, but in all honesty I still can't help feeling so sad and frustrated when young lives are so cruelly snuffed out. I don't believe suffering is from God.I believe when he sees the cries of the poor,the screams of the sick or the final breaths of the dying his heart is sore too. Jesus wept for his friend Lazurus when he died.He is a feeling Jesus.
The only comfort I have in the death of Mary Chris is that she asked Jesus into her heart during her illness. There wasn't much in her tiny house,but there was a bible that she read. When she was too weak to only lie all day and night on her matress on the floor she played worship songs on the small radio we got her. She was an example of how to smile- even through agon she made an effort to smile.
The other day one of our team told us that as they sat with her before she died she still smiled. I know most of you did not Mary Chris,but I would like you to know she existed-she was loved and she had a smile that did not fade.
I will miss her smile.
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3693430664629924875#editor/target=post;postID=4672577958483815256
When we met her she was dying before our eyes. Through the help partners giving we were able to cover her medical costs and weekly needs. We watched as she battled through stages of weakness and gained strength. She was recovering well from Tuberculosis and malnutrition. She gained weight and energy. She went from having no force to utter a word to holding conversations and laughing. We knew God was answering prayer and we were believing for a total healing.
No matter what condition she was in when we went to visit- she always smiled. Sometimes her body was so skeletal and her tiny hands felt like they would crumble in mine, but her smile was alive and full of beauty. She was beautiful.
This week we learned from our team that Mary Chris died. I was shocked. I thought she was getting better? She was much stronger than before and the doctors were happy with her progress. We learned she was having flu symptoms and then for 3 days did not want to eat or drink anything. On the afternoon of the 4th day she died,leaving behind a young husband and 2 year old daughter. It just didn't make sense.
It turns out the Doctor at the public hospital had advised her that she no longer needed to continue her TB treatment. I am no expert, but I know with TB for recovery to be successful patients have to complete the 6 month treatment. The final diagnosis of her death was dehydration with the root cause of TB and meningitis.The doctors did not diagnose the meningitis until after her death. So very sad.
I felt so heavy hearted and disappointed. What else could we have done to prevent this?" What "if's" start whirling through the mind as you examine every "could we have?". We have seen many deaths on the dump site.Some are sudden, like a child being mangled by a dump truck.This is so unjust and it should never happen.Perhaps such deaths can be stopped in the long term by getting the children physically off the site.But at that moment when these tragedies happen we physically can't do anything about it. With a long term illness I always feel there must be something else we could have done. I know ultimately our times are in Gods hands, but in all honesty I still can't help feeling so sad and frustrated when young lives are so cruelly snuffed out. I don't believe suffering is from God.I believe when he sees the cries of the poor,the screams of the sick or the final breaths of the dying his heart is sore too. Jesus wept for his friend Lazurus when he died.He is a feeling Jesus.
The only comfort I have in the death of Mary Chris is that she asked Jesus into her heart during her illness. There wasn't much in her tiny house,but there was a bible that she read. When she was too weak to only lie all day and night on her matress on the floor she played worship songs on the small radio we got her. She was an example of how to smile- even through agon she made an effort to smile.
The other day one of our team told us that as they sat with her before she died she still smiled. I know most of you did not Mary Chris,but I would like you to know she existed-she was loved and she had a smile that did not fade.
 |
| taken 2 month ago. |
I will miss her smile.
February 22, 2013
Be patient anyway!!!!!
"When your children are needy on the same day you're exhausted be patient anyway!"
I read this today in an online devotional and it really popped out the screen at me. Such a good reminder!!
Since we have come back to Scotland it's been quite hecic. It's a privilege to visit supporting churches and a blessing to make new friends too, but it's also been quite a tiring time travelling so manu places. We planned most of our itinerary for before our new baby arrives because realistically when we have 2 bambinos under a year and a half we will probably not be in a fit state to leave the house! hehe :)
We tend to take Josiah mostly everywhere we go, but the last couple of trips he has been showing that he's a bit fed up getting dragged from pillar to post! So we made a decision this week that Ron would continue the visits to England and Wales alone. It was a hard decision but one of they times when we just knew that it was right to put our first ministry- family, before our mission.
Anyway wee Josiah has had a couple of rough nights. Since we are based at my Mums house while we are in the UK we are all in the one room again. Sleep has become disrupted having Josiah in the room with us again! It's hard to imagine that next month we will have a brand new baby joining us in that space too! I know some of our Filipino friends will laugh at me thinking this is even an issue since some of them have about 8 in one room!
With a busy schedule,a toddler out of routine and on the last few weeks of pregnancy I have been feeling a bit "cream crackered" -tired! With that I have found that I lack patience. When I read the quote this morning it jumped out and rebuked me.
"BE PATIENT ANYWAY"!!!!
It was a great reminder after a night of a baba who would not sleep unless he was literally cheek to cheek with mine,followed by a morning where he thought it would be good to showcase his strength of personality by throwing a tantrum or two!
I began to think about how patient God is with me.He is so patient. Even in the times I get cranky and act like a child.He is still patient. Even when I make mistakes.I have only ever known Him to be patient.
What if I made more of an effort to just BE PATIENT ANYWAY. Would our baby notice?
I was thinking how as parents we have such a huge responsibility to set an example. An example of who Jesus is. I pray that by His strength and grace He would help me be a good example in displaying aspects of His character to our beautiful children. Jesus left us an example to follow and the awesome thing is He never even asked us to follow it by our own deeds and goodness, but by just leaning and following Him. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. What a God we have! He is so lovely- so patient.
LOVE IS PATIENT I Corinthians 13:4
I read this today in an online devotional and it really popped out the screen at me. Such a good reminder!!
Since we have come back to Scotland it's been quite hecic. It's a privilege to visit supporting churches and a blessing to make new friends too, but it's also been quite a tiring time travelling so manu places. We planned most of our itinerary for before our new baby arrives because realistically when we have 2 bambinos under a year and a half we will probably not be in a fit state to leave the house! hehe :)
We tend to take Josiah mostly everywhere we go, but the last couple of trips he has been showing that he's a bit fed up getting dragged from pillar to post! So we made a decision this week that Ron would continue the visits to England and Wales alone. It was a hard decision but one of they times when we just knew that it was right to put our first ministry- family, before our mission.
Anyway wee Josiah has had a couple of rough nights. Since we are based at my Mums house while we are in the UK we are all in the one room again. Sleep has become disrupted having Josiah in the room with us again! It's hard to imagine that next month we will have a brand new baby joining us in that space too! I know some of our Filipino friends will laugh at me thinking this is even an issue since some of them have about 8 in one room!
With a busy schedule,a toddler out of routine and on the last few weeks of pregnancy I have been feeling a bit "cream crackered" -tired! With that I have found that I lack patience. When I read the quote this morning it jumped out and rebuked me.
"BE PATIENT ANYWAY"!!!!
It was a great reminder after a night of a baba who would not sleep unless he was literally cheek to cheek with mine,followed by a morning where he thought it would be good to showcase his strength of personality by throwing a tantrum or two!
I began to think about how patient God is with me.He is so patient. Even in the times I get cranky and act like a child.He is still patient. Even when I make mistakes.I have only ever known Him to be patient.
What if I made more of an effort to just BE PATIENT ANYWAY. Would our baby notice?
LOVE IS PATIENT I Corinthians 13:4
February 14, 2013
A "Gads" to my own "Crabbitness"!
It always takes a few weeks to adapt to living in Scotland again. It's just very different from the Philippines. There are lots of things I love about my country and about being back.
- living near family and friends
- parks to walk in and fresh air
-lots of baby friends and activity groups for Josiah
-food!!
-family churches and fellowship with faithful friends
There is something that I hate about being back though
- I seem to get more *crabbit!
*crabbit is a word in Scottish slang which means- grumpy, irritable, negative...
I hear myself complain far more in Scotland than Manila. You would have to ask my hubby if that is really true and because he is so sweet he would make excuses for me, but i think if pushed to he would also agree! I find myself thinking about myself far more than in the Philippines. I catch myself being negative about things and feel so ashamed because I should know better! Working with families who live in a dump site and cemetery, we see real suffering all the time. They of all people have the right to complain and be negative and yet- they don't!!
Someone asked us the other day which country is easier to live in. The answer is definitely Scotland. There are not the same financial concerns. There is support practically, but more importantly emotionally from family and friends. There are systems in place in schools and health care that make everyone equal.. and much more. It's easier for our family here because we only really have to think of ourselves and our own needs most of the time in comparison to living in Manila, running a ministry and constantly thinking of the needs of hundreds of people.
But easier- is not necessarily better!
Could my moaning have something to do with being wrapped up in my own needs instead of serving others? What I have learned is that when you pour yourself out for others sometimes to the point of really sacrificing your wants- you not only don't have time to complain the same, but you actually find joy!
I really hope this is not coming across as if I'm trying to be all saintly! I'm really not. It's just a fact that when we purposely step out to help someone in need, we don't think about ourselves as much! But the truth is, there is need everywhere! Not just in the slums of Manila, but here in my wee hometown of Kilmarnock too.
This morning I went a walk with Josiah to the shop to buy some food and at the height level of a child, newspapers with naked women on the front page. When we went to buy petrol for the car t the other day- a row of tasteless magazines. I felt so sad as I thought how this is just the norm in the culture here. My heart was grieved as I thought about Josiah growing up to be in a society where this was accepted as OK. The truth is, its not OK! It's definitely not OK.In fact, there are lots of things about our liberal culture that are not OK, but I will save my ranting for another blog (or not!) It just made me sad and made me think that there is as much need in my own hometown. Different kinds of needs, but need none the less.
Last week when I went into town, the first 4 shop assistants greeted me with the same response:
"It's a miserable day isn't it?!!They were referring to the fact that it was cold and raining.It kind of made me giggle as I thought how Filipino shop assistants are usually so positive and welcoming to the point that it's extreme at times!
As I continued and walked with Josiah through the "mall" I couldn't help but notice so many faces marred with the mask of drug and alcohol addiction.
There are people who are hurting all around the world.There are people who are hurting living in every street in Kilmarnock. There are people going through really difficult situations amongst my own family and friends. There may not be starving children coming to my door, but there are people starving for love who need Jesus.I should have no excuse to moan or be so selfish.
For those non Scottish dialect speaking readers "gads" is a word used to describe something horrible/smelly/dirty. Isn't our old nature just that?! I'm glad the Lord forgives when we fall into moments of "crabbitness"- moment of selfishness.
So this is not really a blog for anyone else.No deep thoughts or lovely revelations, but instead a reminder to myself to let go of the "gads" in me and let God work in my heart more! The fact is, no matter where I am on the globe, my need to cling to the Lord Jesus should not waver! I'm glad He is unchanging. I'm thankful He is constant. His love never fails.His forgiveness available. His grace on constant supply. Oh how he loves us... even when we are very unlovable!
- living near family and friends
- parks to walk in and fresh air
-lots of baby friends and activity groups for Josiah
-food!!
-family churches and fellowship with faithful friends
There is something that I hate about being back though
- I seem to get more *crabbit!
*crabbit is a word in Scottish slang which means- grumpy, irritable, negative...
I hear myself complain far more in Scotland than Manila. You would have to ask my hubby if that is really true and because he is so sweet he would make excuses for me, but i think if pushed to he would also agree! I find myself thinking about myself far more than in the Philippines. I catch myself being negative about things and feel so ashamed because I should know better! Working with families who live in a dump site and cemetery, we see real suffering all the time. They of all people have the right to complain and be negative and yet- they don't!!
Someone asked us the other day which country is easier to live in. The answer is definitely Scotland. There are not the same financial concerns. There is support practically, but more importantly emotionally from family and friends. There are systems in place in schools and health care that make everyone equal.. and much more. It's easier for our family here because we only really have to think of ourselves and our own needs most of the time in comparison to living in Manila, running a ministry and constantly thinking of the needs of hundreds of people.
But easier- is not necessarily better!
Could my moaning have something to do with being wrapped up in my own needs instead of serving others? What I have learned is that when you pour yourself out for others sometimes to the point of really sacrificing your wants- you not only don't have time to complain the same, but you actually find joy!
I really hope this is not coming across as if I'm trying to be all saintly! I'm really not. It's just a fact that when we purposely step out to help someone in need, we don't think about ourselves as much! But the truth is, there is need everywhere! Not just in the slums of Manila, but here in my wee hometown of Kilmarnock too.
This morning I went a walk with Josiah to the shop to buy some food and at the height level of a child, newspapers with naked women on the front page. When we went to buy petrol for the car t the other day- a row of tasteless magazines. I felt so sad as I thought how this is just the norm in the culture here. My heart was grieved as I thought about Josiah growing up to be in a society where this was accepted as OK. The truth is, its not OK! It's definitely not OK.In fact, there are lots of things about our liberal culture that are not OK, but I will save my ranting for another blog (or not!) It just made me sad and made me think that there is as much need in my own hometown. Different kinds of needs, but need none the less.
Last week when I went into town, the first 4 shop assistants greeted me with the same response:
"It's a miserable day isn't it?!!They were referring to the fact that it was cold and raining.It kind of made me giggle as I thought how Filipino shop assistants are usually so positive and welcoming to the point that it's extreme at times!
As I continued and walked with Josiah through the "mall" I couldn't help but notice so many faces marred with the mask of drug and alcohol addiction.
There are people who are hurting all around the world.There are people who are hurting living in every street in Kilmarnock. There are people going through really difficult situations amongst my own family and friends. There may not be starving children coming to my door, but there are people starving for love who need Jesus.I should have no excuse to moan or be so selfish.
For those non Scottish dialect speaking readers "gads" is a word used to describe something horrible/smelly/dirty. Isn't our old nature just that?! I'm glad the Lord forgives when we fall into moments of "crabbitness"- moment of selfishness.
So this is not really a blog for anyone else.No deep thoughts or lovely revelations, but instead a reminder to myself to let go of the "gads" in me and let God work in my heart more! The fact is, no matter where I am on the globe, my need to cling to the Lord Jesus should not waver! I'm glad He is unchanging. I'm thankful He is constant. His love never fails.His forgiveness available. His grace on constant supply. Oh how he loves us... even when we are very unlovable!
February 13, 2013
There's JOY in the laundry basket!
Wrote most of this a few months back and never found the time to finish and publish it!
I just became aware that it's been over a year since I lead worship publicly on a regular basis. It's one of the first times in my life that I haven't been part of a worship team. I thought it strange that I actually haven't noticed that it's been over a year. I wondered why?
As I was thinking about it I figured I haven't really missed it for a couple of reasons.
Since having Josiah I am more in our apartment in Manila than I ever been before.I'm in a blessed position in that I have been able to create my own schedule. I can juggle working from home and going on site as often or as little as Josiahs needs require. This is a major advantage of your husband being your "boss"!
Instead of working along side my hubby 6 days a week at the dump site, I am in the house much more.It took a while to get used to because we have always done everything together.Now,a lot of the time it's just Josiah and I (or now Josiah, bump and i) in the house while my Ron is ministering in Tondo and Navotas.Since taking a season away from regularly leading worship in a church I (without noticing) found new ways to praise.
I can now-
- worship while changing a dirty nappy! ( a sentence I have never written before)
- worship while picking crumbs off the floor
-worship while washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping up sick,washing laundry......
You get the picture? Its'not public. It's not practiced.It's not perfect, but it's still praise!
But do these times really mean as much to God? I mean really? Is God really listening when I'm singing while picking up and tripping over cars, crayons and crusts flung from the highchair?! I'm reminded of words penned by composer Steven Curtis Chapman
"This is a moment made for worshipping, cause this is a moment I'm alive"
Wow! Every moment I take a breath is an opportunity to worship.It's an opportunity to show God I am thankful.It's a place I have the chance to find joy.
This may sound so mushy, but I can truly say that since becoming a Mama I have found joy in the strangest places. I have learned that mundane tasks that seem totally unimportant to anyone else can be a way to serve Jesus and my family. On days that us Mama's have cooked, cleaned, tidied, washed, mopped and feel quite exhausted from running after our children, we should lift our hearts in thanks and feel accomplished. Even if our homes still look as though a bomb has dropped!
The fact is it is amazing that by doing these mundane things we can love and serve our husbands and children. We are building a home for them. I have come to really enjoy days being a "house wife". It's precious to know Mamas have the ability to create a space that can feel like home.It's precious to be able to chase after, play with, bath, hug,love our babies.I feel so blessed I can be at home with him and not have to miss anything.I have friends that would just love to have more time at home with their kids.
I believe God gave our families to us as our first ministry.Our homes are our number one mission field. I know some of you reading may think this all sounds very old fashioned,but I feel it's true.
On the days where I find myself moaning about doing something in our home, I need to check myself and remind myself to be thankful.
"Oh there are so many dishes to do,clothes to wash,stuff to clean,..."
What I should be saying is;
-Thank you God I have a lovely husband and beautiful son to do these things for!
God has confirmed to me more than ever what true worship and real joy is. They are not dependent on the place or people around us.It's a matter of the heart. Christians were made to worship and in worshipping we can have real joy. What an amazing purpose we have! What a privilege. So whether I'm leading hundreds of people to sing in a church or whether I'm leading my one year old son in a simple Sunday school song- if I sing with a heart of worship it sounds just as beautiful to God. When we choose to worship- we find real joy.
I just became aware that it's been over a year since I lead worship publicly on a regular basis. It's one of the first times in my life that I haven't been part of a worship team. I thought it strange that I actually haven't noticed that it's been over a year. I wondered why?
As I was thinking about it I figured I haven't really missed it for a couple of reasons.
Since having Josiah I am more in our apartment in Manila than I ever been before.I'm in a blessed position in that I have been able to create my own schedule. I can juggle working from home and going on site as often or as little as Josiahs needs require. This is a major advantage of your husband being your "boss"!
Instead of working along side my hubby 6 days a week at the dump site, I am in the house much more.It took a while to get used to because we have always done everything together.Now,a lot of the time it's just Josiah and I (or now Josiah, bump and i) in the house while my Ron is ministering in Tondo and Navotas.Since taking a season away from regularly leading worship in a church I (without noticing) found new ways to praise.
I can now-
- worship while changing a dirty nappy! ( a sentence I have never written before)
- worship while picking crumbs off the floor
-worship while washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping up sick,washing laundry......
You get the picture? Its'not public. It's not practiced.It's not perfect, but it's still praise!
But do these times really mean as much to God? I mean really? Is God really listening when I'm singing while picking up and tripping over cars, crayons and crusts flung from the highchair?! I'm reminded of words penned by composer Steven Curtis Chapman
"This is a moment made for worshipping, cause this is a moment I'm alive"
Wow! Every moment I take a breath is an opportunity to worship.It's an opportunity to show God I am thankful.It's a place I have the chance to find joy.
This may sound so mushy, but I can truly say that since becoming a Mama I have found joy in the strangest places. I have learned that mundane tasks that seem totally unimportant to anyone else can be a way to serve Jesus and my family. On days that us Mama's have cooked, cleaned, tidied, washed, mopped and feel quite exhausted from running after our children, we should lift our hearts in thanks and feel accomplished. Even if our homes still look as though a bomb has dropped!
The fact is it is amazing that by doing these mundane things we can love and serve our husbands and children. We are building a home for them. I have come to really enjoy days being a "house wife". It's precious to know Mamas have the ability to create a space that can feel like home.It's precious to be able to chase after, play with, bath, hug,love our babies.I feel so blessed I can be at home with him and not have to miss anything.I have friends that would just love to have more time at home with their kids.
I believe God gave our families to us as our first ministry.Our homes are our number one mission field. I know some of you reading may think this all sounds very old fashioned,but I feel it's true.
On the days where I find myself moaning about doing something in our home, I need to check myself and remind myself to be thankful.
"Oh there are so many dishes to do,clothes to wash,stuff to clean,..."
What I should be saying is;
-Thank you God I have a lovely husband and beautiful son to do these things for!
God has confirmed to me more than ever what true worship and real joy is. They are not dependent on the place or people around us.It's a matter of the heart. Christians were made to worship and in worshipping we can have real joy. What an amazing purpose we have! What a privilege. So whether I'm leading hundreds of people to sing in a church or whether I'm leading my one year old son in a simple Sunday school song- if I sing with a heart of worship it sounds just as beautiful to God. When we choose to worship- we find real joy.
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