The ramlings of a first time mummy's heart.

Blood shot eyes, jelly belly, milky vomit stained into an over sized t shirt and everything hurting from the neck down. It's not really the picture of maternal beauty I had seen in pregnancy magazines! The first  early morning with our new baby at home had began!  In a strange way- a very strange way it was kind of a beautiful thing as it was the sign that our lives had changed forever and our firstborn was here!

our first week together- sleepyheads!

We took our precious baby boy home 12 hours after I had given birth. Josiah Jack Domingo was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When I held him for the first time and  his big brown eyes locked onto mine that was it! I was hook line and sinker SMITTEN.

I remember being overwhelmed that God had formed such a beautiful treasure and entrusted us with him! Imagine this tiny perfect bundle was a product of the love between my husband and I.A  bit of him and a bit of me! What grace!!

Yep! I can definitely say that carrying and giving birth to Josiah gave me a fresh revelation of Gods love and favour. But the thing is every day that passes, every new and sometimes seemingly insignificant thing our baby boy does just reinforces the goodness of God. Every precious baby born is totally unique. I am learning they  don't all go by the books and that's so brilliant because it shows the uniqueness and creativity of our God.

Yesterday was one of the most special moments of my life. Since we got married in the Philippines and gave birth out there we decided we would have the dedication of our son in Bonnie Scotland. One of the really lovely things about that was that I think for the first time ever all my friends and family were actually gathered in one place. It was really special for me and Ron and we were overwhelmed with the love and kindness shown. As I looked across all the faces as we led worship I just felt how incredibly blessed we are to have such special friends and family. Such a diverse and much needed bunch of people!  Without a doubt the most difficult thing about living at the other side of the world is leaving them behind.

my boys

During the service I felt captured by what an awesome thing it was to dedicate your baby by faith to the Father of all Fathers and give him back to the One who formed him.What an honour and what a challenge to get to have this amazing little guy in our lives every day. I see all the time Rons Daddy heart toward our boy.I love it! What a beautiful type of The Fathers love to His people.

This parenting journey is terrific and terrifying all at the same time. Surely only Abba Daddy could think this up!



I was reminded of a verse today that I haven't thought about for a while.


 Isaiah 49:15-16

 “Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my Hands....

There is such a strong bond when nursing.How could I ever forget Josiah? My brain has turned to total mush because I'm thinking of his every need. I spoke to friends who have older children and they tell me that actually your brain never fully recovers!  But really, how could I forget about my son? I have witnessed older mothers fervently have compassion on their sons. No matter what, they have never given up on them. They have faithfully cried and prayed for them and no matter what loved them. ding

I just can't get my heart around the thought that if I feel such powerful feelings of love in my imperfect state how must God feel?How must He love!

I don't think words can really describe properly the love in a mothers heart.But to me it feels like a fiery,  all consuming, ready to become a warrior to protect our child, ready to be anything to do the best for him, overwhelming unconditional kind of love. I don't even think that's even a proper sentence but I know you other mummy's get it!

How much more does God love me? I'm His child. He actually did demonstrate His love by making the ultimate sacrifice any  good parent would- He died in my place.He died so I could live. He was rejected so I would be accepted. He never forgets me. My mind just cannot grasp it but I pray my spirit would. What amazing love!

If my heart burns with love for Josiah and my hubby, how much more should it burn  with love for the One who gave them to me.

 If I could really feel His heart of love  as a reality every single day maybe then I could learn how to fufill my full potential as a mummy.

Just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who made the dedication day so special. x

BUT GOD.

Just thinking of friends and family who are going painful  situations just now. Sometimes there is nothing else to be prayed, sighed and hoped for except "BUT GOD"

I come with whys and don't understands

But God reminds me I'm safe in His hands,

My heart may feel weak and sometimes afraid

But God gently whispers His plans are still laid,

At times feel confused with uncertainly

But God comes again and says He loves me,

No matter the feeling, numbness or pain

There's a comfort in all- the But God remains.

I'm looking to others, their eyes full of sorrow

But God gives His hand-He holds their tomorrow,

Loved ones afflicted It seems so unjust

But God's in control  I must always trust,

In moments of fear tears are still shed

But God is my rest and by His hand I'm lead,

No matter how sad,weakened or drained

There's a constant, a surety- The But Gods don't change!

Barbie came to the dump site!

Walking in the swelltering heat doing house visits on the dump site we heard a mans voice shout from behind...
"Hey, she looks like Barbie!"
The comment was directed to a  very special volunteer that I'll try my best to tell you a wee bit about. :)

Barbie AKA Maureen, a 70 year old with the energy of a 17 year old came to volunteer with us 3 years ago. On her first visit she stayed for 6 months. She returned the following year for another 6 months.Then in 2011 she felt a pull in her spirit to do it again. She gave another year of her life to the work and left Manila yesterday.

Maureen came simply with a huge heart to serve. She had a willing spirit just to do whatever was needed- whenever. Throughout her time Maureen  got involved in a bit of everything. Here's some of what she got up to.( I'm sure I'll forget loads)

-Overseeing and helping train workers for our creche for 1-4 year old (brave lady- its nuts in there!)
-Helping out at the feeding program serving thousands of meals, cleaning little plates, holding little hands and bringing big smiles to children who often don't have much to cheer them up.
-Running the drama group
-Supporting at bible studies, prayer meetings and visitations
-Assisting at youth camps and field trips
-Leading art activities at kids clubs and drop in centre
-Doing a host of unglamouros but vital jobs such as  cleaning infested stockrooms, sorting donations, making paper decortaions, taking pictures for sponsors... and more cleaning!

I almost forgot dancing in front of a few hundred Filipinos at community concerts!

I could gibber on but you get the idea. She came to love and help out wherever we needed her to! She came to build relationships and really care. It was such a blessing to have an extra pair of hands and a listening ear around. She added to the team with her experience, creative ideas and Scottish banter!

I know Maureen won't mind me mentioning the fact that she was a little accident prone during her stay! There are a few incidents that come to mind but this is number one on the charts!
 She is the first volunteer to end up tumbling into a man hole thingy at the dump site resulting in her being covered in mud, squidge and whatever else was down there!. The ladies in Tondo thought they would help her out by hosing her down-with her clothes still on! Did Maureen complain being absolutly soaked by the locals?Not at all! She giggled all the day long!

There is loads more I could write about how fab Maureen is, but I'm doing this while our bouncing baba is napping so it has to be a little on the rushed side.

Maureen, our team, children, youth and mummy's in Tondo and Navotas love you and will really miss having you around. You are an amazing example of dropping everything to go on an unknown journey, stepping out in faith with Jesus and heeding the call to go and serve. I hope I have the same zeal and compassion that you have when I'm your age. (I know you don't mind me mentioning how many years young you are!) I pray I would have the same teachable spirit,always willing to learn and ever aware of  depending on the Saviour- as you are.

Thank you for being a great friend.

To anyone thinking about volunteering or going on short term mission-NEVER think you are too old! Don't be like so many and say "Oh I would love to do something like that". Take Maureens example... go and do it! If it's a desire in your heart, take a step of faith and let God work out the rest!