Then my big boy came with a yellow flower he had plucked from Grannys garden and placed it gently at the front of my hair.
"I'm putting flowers in your hair cause you're a Princess Mummy"
Two little golden flowers and a white daisy and I was "ready". Ready for what was not totally clear. Cold little hands spread out wide and chest puffed out "I'll protect you Mum!"
A sweet gentle, moment which in all honesty turned my heart to complete mush. The tenderness was like a vapor as he quickly stormed right back into "fighting the dragon"- his 2 year old brother.
Tonight was pretty tumultuous. Some days toddlers are toddlers and some days they are really toddlers! There were tantrums. There were tears (theirs and mine!)
As my big brown eyed boys snacked on strawberries at the table before bed I asked him what the most fun part of his day had been.
"with you putting flowers in your hair mum"
That wasn't even today!
But what it showed me was it was important to him. Our relationship was important to him. Our relationship being close and right was important to him.
Parental love and a child's love reminds me of our relationship with our Abba Daddy. He calls us royalty too. Sons and daughters of the King of Kings. God loves us so much that if we mess up we feel the distance because we know in our hearts the relationship should be restored and made right.
After all the behavior battles and challenges of submitting to parental authority children don't want the relationship broken, and when it is momentarily affected , they want it restored. The other day after superhero boy Josiah had been acting up he didn't want to say sorry as speedily as usual and he was- miserable!
About 10 minutes of sulking and then he came to Ron and I of his own accord and said "Dad, Mum will you forgive me?" What does a parent do? Oh we just long for that moment of reconciliation dont we? Of course we want to forgive them because we love them. We are just waiting to hug them and start over. Why do we think God, our Father is any different? We sin and instead of going immediately to Him we sometimes feel ashamed or get stroppy, when all along He is actually waiting for us to go to Him and say sorry so that he can forgive us, wipe it away and then we get to start again with our mistake already forgotten!
My husband loves me. He sees the best in me, cheers me on in moments of self doubt, loves me unconditionally and yet loves me too much to let me get away with any stinky attitudes!
Parenting is kind of the same i think. We love them too much not to correct them for their stinky attitudes at times!
It's been a time of change for us. A mammoth journey from the other side of the world. For my boys everything is new- culture, food, people, places. People knowing them, but they don't really know anyone. A time of change that seems to have evoked reactions.My smiling little boy has become clingy as the clingiest glue and my big adventure boy has been having disrespectful outbursts. It's been kind of annoying and unexpected, but i think i have been pretty annoying too! Unexpectedly, i haven't really loved all the change either!
Our 2.5 weeks in Scotland so far have been restful, weird, refreshing, awkward, enjoyable,frustrating. (and the negative describing words are no ones fault, its just how we have both felt!)
The boys don't associate Scotland as being their home. Almost every day Josiah talks about our "home", "our house" and names our street. He likes being here but he's verbalising he doesn't think of it as his home. Then it struck me, neither do I anymore.
I feel blessed we have the chance to see family and friends, I love love love watching our boys play with their cousins.It's less stressful to wake up and just think of our own families needs instead of hundreds of others. I'm thankful we get to go around churches and be an advocate for the community of people we love in Tondo. I'm grateful we get a chance to update partners face to face.It's a privilege to see what God is doing through community changers in my home town. God's timing was perfect for us to come for certain family circumstances and it's right and good that we are here.
But it's a super weird feeling when your home country doesn't really feel like home anymore. Seriously odd.
It's quite thought provoking to ponder the fact that Manila, somewhere that was severely out my comfort zone, with all its craziness, became home.
I feel blessed to call two countries "home".
It challenges the core of contentment, root of happiness and opens up opportunities to meet more amazing people from all corners of the globe. It gives our children two completely different cultural experiences. It has tested out faith and strengthened our trust in God more than I could have imagined. It's been our calling and is still so until God shows us otherwise, but it reminds us that we are only pilgrims on a journey and strangers passing through. If we are Christians, then anywhere in this world is not really our home....
We (I) have a choice to go where He calls us in each season, or not to go. The choice is pretty simple, we obey and learn contentment where He asks us to be, or we disobey and feel miserable whilst struggling against change.
Excuse my late night ramblings. Friends keep asking us how we are getting on home and i havnt found much else than an awkward response! lol I am but a "princess" that is pondering life in a seemingly new land! Maybe somewhere else out there, there is a Mama doing the same! :)
Another flower moment, though not as tender it was pretty hilarious :)
