Be patient anyway!!!!!

"When your children are needy on the same day you're exhausted be patient anyway!"

I read this today in an online devotional and it really popped out the screen at me. Such a good reminder!!

Since we have come back to Scotland it's been quite hecic. It's a privilege to visit supporting churches and a blessing to make new friends too, but it's also been quite a tiring time travelling so manu places. We planned most of our  itinerary for before our new baby arrives because realistically when we have 2 bambinos under a year and a half we will probably not be in a fit state to leave the house! hehe :)

We tend to take Josiah mostly everywhere we go, but the last couple of trips he has been showing that he's a bit fed up getting dragged from pillar to post! So we made a decision this week that Ron would continue the visits to England and Wales alone. It was a hard decision but one of they times when we just knew that it was right to put our first ministry- family, before our mission.
Anyway wee Josiah has had a couple of rough nights. Since we are based at my Mums house while we are in the UK we are all in the one room again. Sleep has become disrupted having Josiah in the room with us again! It's hard to imagine that next month we will have a brand new baby joining us in that space too! I know some of our Filipino friends will laugh at me thinking this is even an issue since some of them have about 8 in one room! 

With a busy schedule,a toddler out of routine and on the last few weeks of pregnancy I have been  feeling a bit "cream crackered" -tired! With that I have found that I lack patience. When I read the quote this morning it jumped out and rebuked me.
"BE PATIENT ANYWAY"!!!! 
It was a great reminder after a night of a baba who would not sleep unless he was literally cheek to cheek with mine,followed by a morning where he thought it would be good to showcase his strength of personality by throwing a tantrum or two!

I began to think about how patient God is with me.He is so patient. Even in the times I get cranky and act like a child.He is still patient. Even  when I make mistakes.I have only ever known Him to be patient.
What if I made more of an effort to just  BE PATIENT ANYWAY. Would our baby notice?

I was thinking how as parents we have such a huge responsibility to set an example. An example of who Jesus is. I pray that by His strength and grace He would help me be a good example in displaying aspects of His character to our beautiful children. Jesus left us an example to follow and the awesome thing is He never even asked us to follow it by our own deeds and goodness, but by just leaning and following Him. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. What a God we have! He is so lovely- so patient.


LOVE IS PATIENT I Corinthians 13:4

A "Gads" to my own "Crabbitness"!

It always takes a few weeks to adapt to living in Scotland again. It's just very different from the Philippines. There are lots of things I love about my country and about being back.
- living near family and friends
- parks to walk in and fresh air
-lots of baby friends and activity groups for Josiah
-food!!
-family churches and fellowship with faithful friends


There is something that I hate about being back though
- I seem to get more *crabbit!

*crabbit is a word in Scottish slang which means- grumpy, irritable, negative...


I hear myself complain far more in Scotland than Manila. You would have to ask my hubby if that is really true and because he is so sweet he would make excuses for me, but i think if pushed to he would also agree! I find myself thinking about myself far more than in the Philippines. I catch myself being negative about things and feel so ashamed because I should know better! Working with families who live in a dump site and cemetery, we see real suffering all the time. They of all people have the right to complain and be negative and yet- they don't!!

Someone asked us the other day which country is easier  to live in. The answer is definitely Scotland. There are not the same financial concerns. There is support practically, but more importantly emotionally from family and friends. There are systems in place in schools and health care that make everyone equal.. and much more. It's easier for our family here because we only really have to think of ourselves and our own needs most of the time in comparison to living in Manila, running a ministry and constantly thinking of the needs of hundreds of people.
But easier- is not necessarily better!
Could my moaning have something to do with being wrapped up in my own needs instead of serving others? What I have learned is that when you pour yourself out for others sometimes to the point of really sacrificing your wants- you not only don't have time to complain the same, but you actually find joy!
I really hope this is not coming across as if I'm trying to be all saintly! I'm really not. It's just a fact that when we purposely step out to help someone in need, we don't think about ourselves as much! But the truth is, there is need everywhere! Not just in the slums of Manila, but here in my wee hometown of Kilmarnock too.

This morning I went a walk with Josiah to the shop to buy some food and at the height level of  a child, newspapers with naked women on the front page. When we went  to buy petrol for the car t the other day- a row of tasteless magazines. I felt so sad as I thought how this is just the norm in the culture here. My heart was grieved as I thought about Josiah growing up to be in a society where this was accepted as OK. The truth is, its not OK! It's definitely not OK.In fact, there are lots of things about our liberal culture that are not OK, but I will save my ranting for another blog (or not!) It just made me sad and made me think that there is as much need in my own hometown. Different kinds of needs, but need none the less.
Last week when I went into town, the first 4 shop assistants greeted me with the same response:
"It's a miserable day isn't it?!!They were referring to the fact that it was cold and raining.It kind of made me giggle as I thought how Filipino shop assistants are usually so positive and welcoming to the point that it's extreme at times!
As I continued and walked with Josiah through the "mall" I couldn't help but notice so many faces marred with the mask of drug and alcohol addiction.

There are people who are hurting all around the world.There are people who are hurting living in every street in Kilmarnock. There are people going through really difficult situations amongst my own family and friends. There may not be starving children coming to my door, but there are people starving for love who need Jesus.I should have no excuse to moan or be so selfish.

For those non Scottish dialect speaking readers "gads" is a word used to describe something horrible/smelly/dirty. Isn't our old nature just that?! I'm glad the Lord forgives when we fall into moments of "crabbitness"- moment of selfishness.
So this is not really a blog for anyone else.No deep thoughts or lovely revelations, but instead a reminder to myself to let go of the "gads" in me and let God work in my heart more! The fact is, no matter where I am on the globe, my need to cling to the Lord Jesus should not waver! I'm glad He is unchanging. I'm thankful He is constant. His love never fails.His forgiveness available. His grace on constant supply. Oh how he loves us... even when we are very unlovable!

There's JOY in the laundry basket!

Wrote most of this a few months back and never found the time to finish and publish it!


I just became aware that it's been over a year since I lead worship publicly on a regular basis. It's one of the first times in my life that I haven't been part of a worship team. I thought it strange that I actually haven't noticed that it's been over a year. I wondered why?
As I was thinking about it I figured I haven't really missed it for a couple of reasons.

Since having Josiah I am more in our apartment in Manila  than I ever been before.I'm in a blessed position in that I have been able to create my own schedule. I can juggle working from home and going on site as often or as little as Josiahs needs require. This is a major advantage of your husband being your "boss"!
Instead of working along side my hubby 6 days a week at the dump site, I am in the house much more.It took a while to get used to because we have always done everything together.Now,a lot of the time it's just Josiah and I (or now Josiah, bump and i) in the house while my Ron is ministering in Tondo and Navotas.Since taking a season away from regularly leading worship in a church I (without noticing) found new ways to praise.

I can now-

- worship while changing a dirty nappy! ( a sentence I have never written before)
- worship while picking crumbs off the floor
-worship while washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping up sick,washing laundry......

You get the picture? Its'not public. It's not practiced.It's not perfect, but it's still praise!

But do these times really mean as much to God? I mean really? Is God really listening when I'm singing while picking up and tripping over cars, crayons and crusts flung from the highchair?! I'm reminded of words penned by composer Steven Curtis Chapman
"This is a moment made for worshipping, cause this is a moment I'm alive"

Wow! Every moment I take a breath is an opportunity to worship.It's an opportunity to show God I am thankful.It's a place I have the chance to find joy.

This may sound so mushy, but I can truly say that since becoming a Mama I have found joy in the strangest places. I have learned that mundane tasks that seem totally unimportant to anyone else can be a way to serve Jesus and my family. On days that us Mama's have cooked, cleaned, tidied, washed, mopped and feel quite exhausted from running after our children, we should lift our hearts in thanks and feel accomplished. Even if our homes still look as though a bomb has dropped!
The fact is it is amazing that by doing  these mundane things we can love and serve our husbands and children. We are building a home for them. I have come to really enjoy days being a "house  wife". It's precious to know Mamas have the ability to create a space that can feel like home.It's precious to be able to chase after, play with, bath, hug,love our babies.I feel so blessed I can be at home with him and not have to miss anything.I have friends that would just love to have more time at home with their kids.
 I believe God gave our families to us as our first ministry.Our homes are our number one mission field. I know some of you reading may think this all sounds very old fashioned,but I feel it's true.
On the days where I find myself moaning about doing something in our home, I need to check myself and remind myself to be thankful.
"Oh there are so many dishes to do,clothes to wash,stuff to clean,..."
What I should be saying is;
-Thank you God I have a lovely husband and beautiful son to do these things for!

God has confirmed to me more than ever what true worship and real joy is. They are not dependent on the place or people around us.It's a matter of the heart. Christians were made to worship and in worshipping we can have real joy. What an amazing purpose we have! What a privilege. So whether I'm leading hundreds of people to sing in a church or whether I'm leading my one year old son in a simple Sunday school song- if I sing with a heart of worship it sounds just as beautiful to God. When we choose to worship- we find real joy.