"She died in my arms"

I really wasn't intending to write tonight. It's after 2am. Both our babies are in a peaceful sleep.After yestedays Monster Typhoon there are mothers mourning the loss of their children and families sleeping on the floors of evacuation centers .Here are my boys-healthy- safe.
I am thankful.
I just feel I need to tell you about another Warrior Mother. My heart can't rest tonight thinking about her.
Her name is Lorna.
She lives in the "temporary housing" within the dump site area.
She has 5 children and she also looks after her 2 young grandchildren. Their mother is a bubbly sweet girl but just a  teenager when she had both these children. The pressure got too much for her this year and she fled Tondo leaving mummy Lorna with the 2 babies. Lorna cares as best she can for all of them.

2 weeks ago Ate Lornas youngest daughter Janet passed away. She was 6 years old.

taken 2012-  Janet at her healthiest

I remember the first time we met Janet. She was  a baby. Ate Lorna told us she thought she was sick. Ron held her to pray for her and right away knew that she had something far more than a fever or a cough. Her body was limp and eyes unresponsive. After tests she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

I can witness that Ate Lorna has cared for Janet. She was always so protective of her. Only she carried her from place to place with gentleness. We had a lovely occupational therapist recently volunteer with us whom we asked to dedicate time to Janet. She was so sensitive to Janets needs, but even then Ate Lorna was a little afraid for Janet being moved in new positions. Through the years every time we delivered milk, food or medicine Ate Lorna would always be near her child. Another charity once arranged with the families permission to take Janet into long term respite, but after a few weeks Ate Lorna decided to bring her back to Tondo. She kept this child alive when looking at her tiny form, you would have thought she would have died as a baby.

A couple of nights ago I was celebrating my birthday at the dump site and noticed Ate Lorna had come in and was sitting at the back..I was surprised to see her. I went straight over and hugged her. I had no words. It wasn't time for words. But from one mother to another I felt her heart breaking over Janets loss. I cannot imagine a worse pain. I cannot even imagine. We embraced and wept together. In 6 years of knowing Ate Lorna I have never seen her cry, even through all the struggles that come with fighting to keep your children alive in that community. As tears fell from our faces, she paused and then uttered words that were so unexpected and felt so very out of place;

"Thank you. Thank you for all the big help to my family and Janet."

If I were in this woman's position I think that "Thank you" would have been the very last thing on my mind. Even now writing, the genuine tone of her broken voice echos in my ears. Lorna is a shy woman and often talks with he rhead a little down, but at this moment her eyes were piercing through mine.

"Thankyou"

She continued in a shaky voice to tell of Janets last few moments. I could tell it was important to share the details- how it happened and even the exact time of death. She was a mum telling of the moment when she was forced to let go of her baby. As I held her hand she told me;

"It was beautiful how she died. I saw in her eyes and she died in my arms. In our house"

What she was saying was- it was the best way it could have happened.

Janet took her very last breath in the arms of the one who had faithfully held her every day.

Ron and I were talking and just saying how it is impossible to even try to understand this situation. A little girl born into a dump site and enduring suffering for 6 years. I don't know why. I don't know why at the unfairness and injustice that if this little girl had been born in the UK for example she would have received much more care and Lorna more support. I don't know why Ate Lorna had to watch her daughter have a life of suffering and then die in her arms.
When our church in Tondo surrounded her and were praying for her Ron spoke out that the secret mysteries belong to God. These words from my husbands lips have been repeating in my heart.The reality is none of us have an answer for this kind of human suffering, but we have to trust that God is the giver and the taker of life. He decides when we will be born and when we will die. For any of us who has lost a loved one this is easier to say than really believe because for us, the time they were taken feels so wrong and after years feels so raw, but we need to believe that the God who breathed his very life in them, knew it was the right time that they take their last.

I just want you to know there was a little girl called Janet who was loved. And I want you to know there is a mother called Lorna who loved her.

In all the time we have known this family I only ever seen Janet respond on one occasion.
She looked at her Mama and smiled.

Please pray for Ate Lorna and the family.


"The secret things belong to the Lord Our God..." Deuteronomy 29:29