February 26, 2014

Don't lose heart.

Maybe you read my blog a couple of weeks ago mentioning a little boy called Winmar whom we met for the first time that day. He was sick and very undernourished. With a heavy heart I share with you that he never made it.
As soon as we met the family that day we knew it was a desperate situation. Our team at Kalayaan Community Ministries done everything to try to help. Covered the daily food needs of the family, paid for medicines and hospital fees and included him in our feeding program for malnourished.

But we found him too late.

What if  this family had come to us even a few weeks before? Would it have made a difference?
Only God knows.

In moments like these it doesn't matter how many people's lives we are helping.
- one child dead through the effects of poverty is one too many.

The little boy who died was the same age as my son Josiah. 2 and a half years old.

The mother loved her son. I love my sons.
She breast fed to provide him with the most sustenance he could have even though she herself was lacking nutrition. I breast feed too.
The mother wanted the best for him. Wanted him to grow up happy, healthy and live a life of purpose. That's my desire also.

So what's the gaping chasm of a difference?

Her son was born into poverty on a rubbish dump. Mine was not.

Right now my sons are lying here beside me fast asleep on a comfortable bed, clean, healthy with full bellies.
Our Josiah and Eli


Her son lies in a tiny white casket in the ground because his frail body was so undernourished with lack of food that he just could not fight the measles and pneumonia anymore.

Winmar doing his "best smile"


After 6 years of looking into open caskets, I can never and will never get used to seeing dead children. When you have seen them laugh and play and live and then view them motionless, pale and without expression- words cannot describe. Looking in to see the body of a loved one is a sign of respect to the family and a cultural norm. I don't think it will ever feel normal for me.

Just a few weeks ago we were able to help "save" a little boys life  who was on our feeding program for the most malnourished in the community. He too was diagnosed with measles and pneumonia.
baby Caleb with Mama Jane after he got out hospital a few weeks ago. We thank God he's doing great now.

 



The only difference?
We found him much sooner and have been working with the family for more than a year already.

It's been a challenging few weeks for various reasons and very sad week with 2 deaths of people we loved and knew in the community.
Yes, good and positive things have happened too, but when you are in this kind of work for the long hall losing people that you have poured out everything to try to help is just heart crushing.

When you really invest your time, resources and life in a certain community of people- you will laugh with them- you will weep with them. You will share their highest of highs and their lowest of lows because they become your family.

Ron just got home late from the dump site to find me perched at the side of the bed.

I was thinking about several of the families situations and just talking to God.
With honesty and pain in my heart and voice I mumbled to my husband;

"there is so much need in that place"

He replied

"and it's our privilege to be there"

My husband is right.

I love his heart.

I stay home with our boys while he is on the field. He sees more heartbreak than me now. Hears more stories that seem so horrific you would think they are from some movie. But they are very real.
He never gives up on people. No matter the setbacks- he keeps loving them. No matter the sacrifice, he keeps helping them. He does so many things to help people in that community and out with it, that no one even hears about and that's the way he likes it to be. He doesn't like to be in pictures. He just loves, helps and demonstrated what the gospel is about when no eyes are on him.

My husband is right.
 Being here, knowing this community and sharing their deep sorrows as well as their great joys is a privilege. And I  must remember this during the times I dare to grumble and moan about my own challenges.

After time with my husband, I kept thinking about this verse and its been burying itself deep into my being since i read it again-


And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

I personally don't think that losing heart means you have lost the passion or you are so overcome with challenges that you want to quit. I think it can mean that sometimes your heart gets so weighed down with the sorrows and burdens of suffering that your mind, emotions and spirit become weak and you  question whether you are being effective at all.

There's another translation of this verse that says  "for in due season we shall reap if we faint not".

So how can we (I) make sure we "faint not" or  don't "lose heart"?
- For me the application is twofold;
1. Take it ALL to Jesus. Give it ALL to Him.. Get refreshed by being with Him. Sit alone and pour it all out to Him- the challenges, the tears, the burdens, the hopes, the dreams, the successes and the failures. Don't try and make it sound pretty. Tell it like it is. He already knows!
2: Don't listen to the lies of the enemy when he tells you , you are not making a difference. Get around people who can encourage you and lift your heart.

I found this verse resonate with my heart as a mummy too. Mother hood is a ministry- a marvelously, joyful, chaotic, challenging and at times frustrating one. Anyone agree?!

 I think in particular if you are a stay at home mum you go through "those days". Your day is filled with tasks that sometimes feel unimportant. But they are not! Each act is a way of caring , loving, nurturing our children. Through some of the days that may feel really long and are exhausting, remember the bigger picture. This verse says, if we don't lose heart we will reap.
Reap- to gather in, to get a result, to see a great harvest!

So whatever your tasks are today. Whatever the challenges you are facing. Whoever you are reaching out to or whoever you are carrying the burdens for-
DON'T LOSE HEART.




No comments:

Post a Comment