A "Gads" to my own "Crabbitness"!

It always takes a few weeks to adapt to living in Scotland again. It's just very different from the Philippines. There are lots of things I love about my country and about being back.
- living near family and friends
- parks to walk in and fresh air
-lots of baby friends and activity groups for Josiah
-food!!
-family churches and fellowship with faithful friends


There is something that I hate about being back though
- I seem to get more *crabbit!

*crabbit is a word in Scottish slang which means- grumpy, irritable, negative...


I hear myself complain far more in Scotland than Manila. You would have to ask my hubby if that is really true and because he is so sweet he would make excuses for me, but i think if pushed to he would also agree! I find myself thinking about myself far more than in the Philippines. I catch myself being negative about things and feel so ashamed because I should know better! Working with families who live in a dump site and cemetery, we see real suffering all the time. They of all people have the right to complain and be negative and yet- they don't!!

Someone asked us the other day which country is easier  to live in. The answer is definitely Scotland. There are not the same financial concerns. There is support practically, but more importantly emotionally from family and friends. There are systems in place in schools and health care that make everyone equal.. and much more. It's easier for our family here because we only really have to think of ourselves and our own needs most of the time in comparison to living in Manila, running a ministry and constantly thinking of the needs of hundreds of people.
But easier- is not necessarily better!
Could my moaning have something to do with being wrapped up in my own needs instead of serving others? What I have learned is that when you pour yourself out for others sometimes to the point of really sacrificing your wants- you not only don't have time to complain the same, but you actually find joy!
I really hope this is not coming across as if I'm trying to be all saintly! I'm really not. It's just a fact that when we purposely step out to help someone in need, we don't think about ourselves as much! But the truth is, there is need everywhere! Not just in the slums of Manila, but here in my wee hometown of Kilmarnock too.

This morning I went a walk with Josiah to the shop to buy some food and at the height level of  a child, newspapers with naked women on the front page. When we went  to buy petrol for the car t the other day- a row of tasteless magazines. I felt so sad as I thought how this is just the norm in the culture here. My heart was grieved as I thought about Josiah growing up to be in a society where this was accepted as OK. The truth is, its not OK! It's definitely not OK.In fact, there are lots of things about our liberal culture that are not OK, but I will save my ranting for another blog (or not!) It just made me sad and made me think that there is as much need in my own hometown. Different kinds of needs, but need none the less.
Last week when I went into town, the first 4 shop assistants greeted me with the same response:
"It's a miserable day isn't it?!!They were referring to the fact that it was cold and raining.It kind of made me giggle as I thought how Filipino shop assistants are usually so positive and welcoming to the point that it's extreme at times!
As I continued and walked with Josiah through the "mall" I couldn't help but notice so many faces marred with the mask of drug and alcohol addiction.

There are people who are hurting all around the world.There are people who are hurting living in every street in Kilmarnock. There are people going through really difficult situations amongst my own family and friends. There may not be starving children coming to my door, but there are people starving for love who need Jesus.I should have no excuse to moan or be so selfish.

For those non Scottish dialect speaking readers "gads" is a word used to describe something horrible/smelly/dirty. Isn't our old nature just that?! I'm glad the Lord forgives when we fall into moments of "crabbitness"- moment of selfishness.
So this is not really a blog for anyone else.No deep thoughts or lovely revelations, but instead a reminder to myself to let go of the "gads" in me and let God work in my heart more! The fact is, no matter where I am on the globe, my need to cling to the Lord Jesus should not waver! I'm glad He is unchanging. I'm thankful He is constant. His love never fails.His forgiveness available. His grace on constant supply. Oh how he loves us... even when we are very unlovable!

There's JOY in the laundry basket!

Wrote most of this a few months back and never found the time to finish and publish it!


I just became aware that it's been over a year since I lead worship publicly on a regular basis. It's one of the first times in my life that I haven't been part of a worship team. I thought it strange that I actually haven't noticed that it's been over a year. I wondered why?
As I was thinking about it I figured I haven't really missed it for a couple of reasons.

Since having Josiah I am more in our apartment in Manila  than I ever been before.I'm in a blessed position in that I have been able to create my own schedule. I can juggle working from home and going on site as often or as little as Josiahs needs require. This is a major advantage of your husband being your "boss"!
Instead of working along side my hubby 6 days a week at the dump site, I am in the house much more.It took a while to get used to because we have always done everything together.Now,a lot of the time it's just Josiah and I (or now Josiah, bump and i) in the house while my Ron is ministering in Tondo and Navotas.Since taking a season away from regularly leading worship in a church I (without noticing) found new ways to praise.

I can now-

- worship while changing a dirty nappy! ( a sentence I have never written before)
- worship while picking crumbs off the floor
-worship while washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping up sick,washing laundry......

You get the picture? Its'not public. It's not practiced.It's not perfect, but it's still praise!

But do these times really mean as much to God? I mean really? Is God really listening when I'm singing while picking up and tripping over cars, crayons and crusts flung from the highchair?! I'm reminded of words penned by composer Steven Curtis Chapman
"This is a moment made for worshipping, cause this is a moment I'm alive"

Wow! Every moment I take a breath is an opportunity to worship.It's an opportunity to show God I am thankful.It's a place I have the chance to find joy.

This may sound so mushy, but I can truly say that since becoming a Mama I have found joy in the strangest places. I have learned that mundane tasks that seem totally unimportant to anyone else can be a way to serve Jesus and my family. On days that us Mama's have cooked, cleaned, tidied, washed, mopped and feel quite exhausted from running after our children, we should lift our hearts in thanks and feel accomplished. Even if our homes still look as though a bomb has dropped!
The fact is it is amazing that by doing  these mundane things we can love and serve our husbands and children. We are building a home for them. I have come to really enjoy days being a "house  wife". It's precious to know Mamas have the ability to create a space that can feel like home.It's precious to be able to chase after, play with, bath, hug,love our babies.I feel so blessed I can be at home with him and not have to miss anything.I have friends that would just love to have more time at home with their kids.
 I believe God gave our families to us as our first ministry.Our homes are our number one mission field. I know some of you reading may think this all sounds very old fashioned,but I feel it's true.
On the days where I find myself moaning about doing something in our home, I need to check myself and remind myself to be thankful.
"Oh there are so many dishes to do,clothes to wash,stuff to clean,..."
What I should be saying is;
-Thank you God I have a lovely husband and beautiful son to do these things for!

God has confirmed to me more than ever what true worship and real joy is. They are not dependent on the place or people around us.It's a matter of the heart. Christians were made to worship and in worshipping we can have real joy. What an amazing purpose we have! What a privilege. So whether I'm leading hundreds of people to sing in a church or whether I'm leading my one year old son in a simple Sunday school song- if I sing with a heart of worship it sounds just as beautiful to God. When we choose to worship- we find real joy.

Are they really poor?

So, we are back in Bonnie Scotland! After a 28 hour journey (which went pretty smoothly with a toddler and a big bump) it was so good to give and receive many a squeezy hug with family and friends. It's good to be back! It's good to be around friends and be able to share our hearts. It's good to be with family and meet new additions. It's good to eat fish n chips, square sausage and a whole host of other yummies!

It's been quite a busy time since landing, visiting people, getting ready for a new baby and starting our itinerary in churches and groups giving missions updates. We have been so warmly welcomed and encouraged. The last couple of days we have had more time to ourselves and I got to thinking...

Are the families we work with who live on the dump site and cemetery really poor?
I know this probably sounds a ridiculous question!

Yes, they are considered amongst the poorest of the poor in the Philippines.Going without food for days is normal to many.Not owning  a pair of shoes is not seen as anything different. Living in a shack made of plastic bags and chicken wire is just the way it is. Most of them have nothing that we would consider any earthly value. Yet, my heart will not allow me to answer that they are totally poor.

Why?
Because many of them have a relationship with Jesus. Many of them have truly made Jesus the Lord of their lives and He has become their motivation for each day. So they may have nothing of material wealth, but they have everything in Jesus.
As I was thinking about them today I found myself checking my own heart. Here in the UK I think it can be easy to get caught up in "stuff". I'm not saying having stuff is wrong. It's just that as I have watched Jesus save the lives of the poor, many a time He then becomes their everything and their all. I think this is partly because they don't have "stuff" pulling for their attention. They don't have to keep up with what so and so next door has or what the media shows is the next best thing to buy.

Since being back in Scotland I have not seen one child running around naked in the mud. I have not seen hundreds of children searching through trash to find a scrap of food. I have entered one house where a family is without running water and a toilet. Scotland is blessed! I know there are many other needs and in my opinion these needs are as much of an emergency as the ones in Manila. There are many heartbreaking issues here too.But I believe the core need is a need for Jesus.

The old man in Manila living on a festering dump site needs Jesus the same as the wealthy businessman living in a mansion in Scotland needs Jesus.

Earlier today my heart was so heavy as I thought on the culture of materialism that we seem to have in the UK. Again, I don't think its wrong for people to work hard and have nice things. But there is a great difference from having nice things or letting they things have you. I am thankful for the many people who give here out of their financial blessing or out of their need.They make what we do possible. But I am also thankful for the families we work with and love who demonstrate continually what true wealth and joy is.They have reminded me to check reality and my heart today!


Our lovely children's choir on the dump site sing a song called "I have nothing without you" I can hear it sound through my head as though they were standing in this room today. How true that rich or poor- we are nothing without Him. I need Him!

taken at our children's prayer meeting on Tondo dump site

Happy Anniversary Mahal Ko (my love)

It's our 5th wedding anniversary!!!! (smiley smiley face) :) :)
I sat down this morning to write a poem for my husband to try and express what he means to me and how I love him. I scribbled a few verses. I think they were quite nice!.But I felt a prompting to put down my pen and think specifically about what I really respect about my Ron.

Ron, my love...

I respect and love that you are;

-A man of good intentions
You fight for me and you fight for others
You stand against injustice-you take action.
You are full of compassion.

-You protect and provide for me and our children
Carry problems and pressure and try and keep the burdens from me
You are patient and kind
Creative and inspiring.

-I appreciate and respect the way you;
Work and succeed in achieving so much
Pay the bills and fix stuff!
Give. You would give everything away to help someone out.
You are honest. A man of honour.


-It blows my mind that you would;
Be willing to die for us.
You lead us. You are wise.
You offer your time to council others
You are a peacemaker
I respect the decisions you make for our family and for our work.

-I'm thankful that you;
Are strong in the times when I feel weak
You are gracious when I mess up
Come up with solutions to problems
You serve and you lead.You lead so well.

You are a great friend. My best friend. Trust worthy and faithful.
You are my love. My lover.I admire you.
I love that you still have dreams. I believe in them. I stand with you.

I want you and the world to know that:


I respect the man God made You. I thank Him for your life.
I love you.
I have faith in you. I believe in you. I am with you.
I appreciate you.
I'm so proud to stand beside you and walk this life together.
I'm so proud to be your wife.

An example set by my toddler.... to me.

The last couple of days have been the hardest I can remember in a long time. So many challenges. So many needs. It takes a lot for me to worry. I'm really not a worrier. But for the first time in a long long time I could feel myself becoming anxious.Both Ron and I could really feel the pressure of everything that was happening. Problems just seemed to be coming from every direction.
 We knew God was with us. There are so many beautiful scriptures in the bible that bring peace in situations that are so unpeacful- about Gods everlasting arms being underneath us- about not worrying about tomorrow- about God looking after the sparrows so how how much more will he look after us. But for some reason even though I read them, prayed them, sang them I could still feel this bubble of worry in my stomach.

This morning the problems that arose yesterday both to us personally and in the ministry were still with us. I was thinking about a verse my hubby quoted last night about God never leaving or forsaking us in problems. I knew it was true and yet still I could not feel that total peace about things.

 A little later in the morning Josiah climbed up onto my knee, cuddled in with his head resting on my growing bump and fell into a deep sleep.

Not a care. Not a worry in his mind. No concept of the problems..
He knew Daddy and Mummy were there to look after him. He believed his needs would be met. He knew he was loved and cared for. As I hugged him and looked into his handsome wee face, I could actually feel the contentment and peace from him. Then it hit me...
PEACE.
I thought too about Jesus asleep on the boat. I could just imagine the disciples running around in a panic. Their hearts pounding. Their minds racing... and there was Jesus in a state of total rest.

Then Jesus said- "Peace, be still! And the wind ceased and there was a great calm" (Mark 4:39)

Our Abba Daddy is looking after us. I know that I know this, but this morning I know it again!
I don't need to be anxious.I just need be thankful, trust, ask and wait for my God to help.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7)

The BIG P and regular fries.

I just found this in my drafts from about 5  months ago......

 
"There are always two versions of a story, regular or twister fries. Regular, please!"

So I saw this on a friends face book page and found myself having a giggle and a big nod in agreement!


Anyone else ever surprised about the ugliness of their own nature at times? I am.

I've been thinking about how the big P can creep up almost unnoticed until..BAM! There it is! The big P I'm talking about is PRIDE. Even the sound of the word has a horrible ring to it.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone has spoke falsely against you? Maybe they are just really mistaken or maybe they are just out right telling lies! Whichever it is, I am learning the important thing is how we respond. Easier said than done at times!

One of the most hurtful things we can encounter is for some one who you think is a friend to speak wrongly against you.  My first reaction after hurt was that of defense. To show them they were totally wrong and point out facts. Thankfully I am married to a lovely and wise man who thinks before he speaks. He reminded me (even if at that moment it was not what I wanted to hear) not to rush an answer. In fact not to respond at all.
My old nature did not like it one bit!

But once the emotion melted away I knew he was right. Then I started to think about that persons situation. I still did not like the untruthfulness of the words they spoke, but I somehow just about managed to separate my feeling from the way I would respond. I started to think about what might have made them do this.

So then God starts showing me  my heart!! (sqirm sqirm sqirm) Was it my pride that made me think I had to respond by justifying myself and writing down the facts to every lie told? Was it pride bubbling up energising me to just have to "respond with this one thing".
I believe God showed me it was. I was reminded of Jesus. The bible says
"He opened not his mouth."

Gulp! Who more than Jesus had the right to justify himself and correct all the lies people told of Him? Yet He was so humble that he let all sorts of lies be spoken against Him. I was thinking too about how secure He was in His identity. Fully God. Fully man. He knew the end from the beginning. He knew the hearts and minds of every person who falsely accused Him. He knew it all.

Thank God that we can be secure in our identity in Christ. Thank God that if we are His then we need not fear what people would say. It doesn't really matter. I am so so thankful that through the grace of God that I don't have to worry about false words. I am so thankful that my identity is not based on what a person may think of me. It's not based on my past, present or future. It's not based on my work or achievements.
My identity is based on Jesus. I love Him because He first loved me. He loves me. He knows me. I am His. I am His. I am His.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". Proverbs 4:23

Josiahs first visit to Tondo.

This week we took Josiah with us for the first time to Tondo. My heart was pounding most of the time, but he was having so much fun!

Seeing him there with the other babies made me so thankful to have a happy, healthy son.My heart broke all over again as I watched children as young as 2 years old playing alone in the garbage- playing in waste. My heart ached as I thought "what if that was Josiah?"
That is someones baby playing in that mud, bare foot, half clothed and hungry. What if it was my baby? What if my life was switched with one of the mothers there? They literally fight every day to keep their children alive. Some make it. Some don't.
As the mothers shared some of their "news" yesterday my inner voice was screaming;
"This is not normal. This is not right."
Below are some of the things they shared which happened that day;

-One mother came into the group late. Her baby was playing with the others but was a little more clingy to her than usual. She lifted up his faded blue t shirt to reveal bright red marks covering his torso and arms.He was covered in burns from an injury that morning. It was now afternoon and he still had no treatment..

-A withdrawn toddler was covered in open wounds on his arms and face. Small cuts and bites had become infected with the filth from the surroundings and the wound on his arm was now a hole. An actual hole.

-An older mother joined in who does not usually attend the play group. It's normally her teenage daughter who has a 2 year old and a 6 month old. I asked the mother how she was and inquired about her youngest daughter who is 4 years old and has cerebral palsy. She told me matter of factly but with an undertone of worry that her teenager daughter just fled to the province without warning leaving the 2 infants behind. This mother now had to care for her own 3 young children plus her daughter's 2. How could she take care of them? How could she feed them? Why did her daughter leave so suddenly. She did not know.

-Children with high fevers and mothers who could not afford to buy medicine.

- A new born baby boy who's skin was starting to break out in rashes with the heat and germs.

Can you imagine giving birth to your precious baby and instead of bringing her home to your house, neatly decorated with  balloons and greeting cards, you brought her to a rat infested dump site? Instead of dressing her in new clothes, you wrapped rags on her. You love her more than words can say, but you have no choice. Her perfectly smooth skin becomes itchy and swollen as a result from the environment.

I'm in awe once again at my warrior mum friends in that community. They love their children. They want the best but are under strains that are difficult for you or I to understand.
These mothers are so strong. I know I would not cope if I lived where they live. These amazing women don't just cope- they love- they laugh- they pick themselves up and carry on. I admire them. I am thankful to have met them and proud to know them.

This is not the life these babies should have. I can't stand the thought of seeing them grow into children scavenging through rotten food and other people's throw aways. It doesn't matter how much we do- it never feels enough. I know the goodness of God. I know His heart aches for this community. I know He loves it more than words could express. I know He wants to give these babies and the others there an abundant life- on earth and into eternity.
We cry for justice. We work for justice. We are here for justice.

Is it a crazy, far out dream to think things could be changed?

-YES- If I think we or any other organisation, church or person can change things by their own abilities.

NO- If I believe God can move. He can change lives. He can change communities. He can transform a nation. He uses people to carry out his purposes. He uses ordinary, imperfect people.
We must work to do what we can. But we must trust that God can and will move.

 Maybe some reading this are thinking- why should I trust a God who lets people live like this?
I would suggest you think about being thankful that you are not living like that. When my husband and I took our precious son to the car, washed him and brought him home, I had a heavy heart that the babies had no choice but to stay behind. But I was so greatful that we could bring our son home.I am thankful that my son was not born there and that I as are many of you are in a position to do something about poverty.It's so encouraging and so humbling to think that God can use you and me to help bring  change and touch lives. He uses people to work along side those in need. He uses people to pray for these works.He uses people to give.
 
I believe;

"He WILL bring justice to the poor of the people. He WILL save the children of the needy and WILL break in pieces the oppressor" Psalm 72: 4

Her name is Princess Juliana. She is almost 3.

A quote worth quoting...

I'm always amazed and thankful at the way God provides for the ministry through the kindness of people. Never early and never late. We had a faith journey become reality again this month as our annual youth camp took place.It's a time when the teenagers can have a break from the daily struggles and have 4 days of respite at a beach resort. Our prayer is always that they get refreshed physically, emotionally and spiritually. This year was extra significant since we had to postpone the camp from May until the last week of October. We ll knew that God must have a reason for this.It turns out there were a few great reasons and I don't want to ramble on, but it just confirmed that Gods hand was on this camp every step of the way. Oh how He loves these teenagers!

Before we left for camp I scribbled in my journal;
"Lord, be pleased to move among us. Holy Spirit move in a special way. Heal hearts, touch lives and draw the teenagers to You. We don't want an event God- we want to see lasting fruit come from this week. Be with us Lord Jesus..."

There is so much I could write about camp. It was just a great week and so much fun. (Exhausting but fun!) I couldn't possibly write about all the ways God blessed us. God moved.
But if I had to sum it up I would say this;
"There is no substitute for the Holy Spirit."

This is a quote from my sisters Pastor in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Before the camp I was thinking about it and then my brother in law posted it on his face book page. It became a reality the first night of camp...

The first day is always a tiring one! Many of the youth don't sleep with excitement the night before. I was shocked when they told us they woke up as early as 2am to get ready to leave. We don't depart Tondo until 6am!!! Then 125 bodies pack into jeeps and travel 5 hours up north to the resort we host the camp at. Straight into activities and so on. By evening we are all pretty tired. But we always have that first evening dedicate to a celebration of worship and prayer just to thank God for his goodness that another camp has been made possible.
This year Ron and I lead that first night, leaving the other youth bands to lead the rest of the week. As we started to worship it was apparent the young people were sleepy, but there was something else. There was a definite atmosphere and it wasn't really one of freedom. Have you ever been in a church gathering where the worship seems to hit the roof instead of penetrate the heavens? Well. it was like that. Ron and I both sensed the lack of freedom in the hall and began praying as we lead. In our spirits we both felt a determination that the night would not go on without a breakthrough. We so needed God to come in and dwell with us. 
As we continued to sing I got a picture in my mind....

I saw the young people carrying cases.They couldn't lift their hands because of thes big blck cases. Inside the cases were labels;
Sadness, fear, hurt, struggle.... but the one that really stood out in bold black letters was GUILT.

That was it! We are not free to really worship if we are carrying all this stuff, especially guilt. We really needed the Spirit of God to come and break through and give them a fresh and real revelation of Gods love. Only then would the spiritual atmosphere change. As the youth got into groups to pray our staff and us began asking the Lord to move.Words of life were spoken over the teens. It was our hearts cry for God to release them. We began singing " Oh how He loves us" and crying out for the Holy Spirit to come.
He did and everything changed.
In fact it was the catalyst needed to direct the purpose of the whole camp. God is so good.

Again, I know if I start getting into testimonies of how God touched lives I will be writing here all night. But I am just so so thankful to the Lord for answering prayer and moving in the lives of many young people.He saved. He healed. He restored.He filled.
He is more than amazing. Amazing grace.

There truly is no substitute for the Holy Spirit and I want this to be engraved in my heart. You can have the best planned activities, amazing preachers, well provided for church, the best reheared music team and dynamic outreaches. BUT they just don't even come close to a move of the Spirit of God. There is  no faking it when the presence of God really takes over. No pretense. No religion. No comparison.

He is lovely.

(Have no idea why the first paragraph has a white background and my baby brain will not permit me to problem solve any longer today- Goodnight all! :)

Life is like a piano.

'But David encouraged himself in the Lord.." 1 Samuel 30:6

This verse has been going through my mind for the last week or so. Maybe it's meant for someone who is reading this....

Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where there seems to be no one to encourage you. Maybe you are in a place full of people, but for some reason no one seems to have that word you are in need of. Or maybe you are in a place where you are physically alone. Maybe you are going through a suffering situation that even if people want to, is really hard for them to understand. Maybe these are some of the reasons this verse is in the bible. Is it there to remind us that on some occasions we really have to encourage ourselves by looking up to the one who understands it all. I believe with all my heart that God uses people to speak encouragement into our lives. This is precious. I know He uses the heart song of others, a letter or a scripture handed to us by a friend.
But I believe too there are certain times when we must make a choice to stir up our gifts, stir up our hearts and stir up the word of God within us. It won't always feel amazing. It may not even seem to make a difference to our emotions or change our circumstances. But I believe, and I can't fully explain why but it does do something in the spirit realm. It keeps our hearts right. It moulds us into an over comer- even is we feel far from being one.It reminds the enemy that we do trust our God.

I will never forget a message preached by my Pastor in Scotland.He gave the illustration of a piano.

There are black notes and there are white notes. Depending on where you place your fingers some create a major chord (a happy sound) and some a minor chord (a sad sound). It would be hard to imagine a piano only with all white notes or only with all black. The two are placed perfectly to create something beautiful. Our lives are the same. We need both the major chords and the minor in our lives. Just as in music the minor can still work our to be something beautiful.
We won't always like what's happening. There are times we will be sad.But God really does work all things together for good to those who love Him.

Today, if you are going through a "minor chord" encourage yourself in the Lord even if it's the last thing you feel like. Choose to worship. Choose to read Gods word. Choose to still sing.
Sometimes the songs you will sing on the dark days- "in the night" will be the most beautiful and most special. Choose to worship and choose to believe that days will come again when you will sing those songs in a major, happy key again. They will.

I can't help thinking about David in the bible.A gifted musician. A player of many instruments and a writer of many songs. These songs recorded in scripture were both happy and sad. I just wonder how many of these beautiful psalms that bless us and encourage us so often were actually birthed as he chose to encourage himself in the Lord when no one else could......

Never say the C word in a Filipino airport!

Last week we were in Malaysia for my friends wedding. We have been friends since we were six and so it was just amazing to be there on her special day and have a week in such a beautiful country with my hubby and baby. It really was quite a perfect week. However actually getting out the airport was not so perfect!

 Off we went at 6am to travel a couple of hours to the airport in Clark. We were pretty organised and even on time! Now in the past I have been made painfully aware of "required fees" that must be a paid inside the terminal. After researching  I was pretty sure I knew the amount needed. I was wrong!

The first sign we came to was "terminal fee". It wasn't so bad. The second line we were pointed to go to was"airport tax". However we were assured since I am not Filipino and Josiah is an infant that this only applied to Ron. It wasn't a small fee but we brought a bit extra just in case. Hmmmm... wrong information apparently given to us! When we got to the front, the woman said that the fee applied to 3 of us. Unless we wanted to pay an "exemption fee" for Josiah. Hold on- we have to pay a fee so that we don't have to pay another fee?!! is this making sense to anyone else?!!

By this stage I was getting annoyed. You can ask to see all the policies in the world and talk until you are blue in the face but at the end of the day , the airport staff have the say and that is it. I am thankful for a very patient husband, but even he was getting agitated by this stage since we had to go and change money back into pesos to pay this ridiculous fee.

Surely that is it I thought. There are no more signs for fees. Just one security check and then we can relax and start to enjoy our trip. Wrong! When we got to immigration the guy said "you must pay a fee". This time the fee didn't even have a title! He must be joking! It was a really steep amount. We asked to speak to a supervisor to give an explanation. After searching through an old notepad she said" because you are a foreigner and resident". Wait a minute! The other guy just said there would be no more fees because I am a resident of the Philippines! I felt like I was going to explode but Rons calming influence was rubbing off just enough to hold me from going mental. We really questioned this fee. Giving all the sensible reasons we could as to why it should not apply. We told of the information we had been given already by the other staff. Surely each post should be giving the same info? The supervisor replied " they other staff don't know what they are doing". Em... shouldn't that be her job as their manager to  make sure they did?!

I was mad! I began to speak faster and waffle why we should not pay this fee. It was not making a blind bit of difference... but i was mad! Ron spoke sensibly to the women while I sat down in a fluster. I thought I was talking to myself but said out loud "this system in so corrupt" Well!! One of the staff heard me and was not at all amused. Honestly I never meant that they particular individuals were corrupt, in fact one girl was particularly sweet. However I did feel it was unjust and the lack of communication between staff was very unprofessional. Next thing we know they are not going to allow us on the flight and they definitely would not let us on the flight if we did not pay. Sigh..... beyond frustrating. By the time we were finished we had to pay out almost 100 pounds of  money.

In my personal opinion I still think the system is guilty for legalised corruption. But I also know my attitude that day was not right. I should have been able to remain calm. I should not have spoken what was in my mind. I should have been able to control my flesh from boiling over. I shouls be more like my hubby in these situations whose moto is "a gentle answer turns away wrath". However honestly in my stubborness in this situation these are the last words I would have wanted to hear!

As you can read there are no deep lesson in this blog. Just the ramblings of a frustrated travller and the reminder to myself not to ever use the *Corruption word in an airport again! Looking back it is now a little funny...not very funny... but maybe a little bit! :)